Avris

i took this picture exactly 12 years ago, early in the morning, at lake garda in italy. it's a very special photo for me – it marks a day i now consider the first day of my new life ️

Hello. My name is Andrea Vos.

But arriving at that name was quite a journey, so I figured I might write the story down.

A bit my my cheek recenlty – and then it healed. Some time later I cut my lip while playing with Luna – and for the following week I was slightly annoyed by the wound.

That might sound awfully dull, but for me that's a huge reason to celebrate. Cause for years whenever I got even a tiniest wound in my oral cavity, chances were that I'd spend that week barely talking, barely eating, I couldn't kiss or have sex, or sometimes the pain would get so awful I wouldn't even be able to think.

I have a short story to tell. And it's a real one.

It's not the kind of post I usually write, but you know, I've been a full blown adult for a while now, so why wouldn't I start ranting about some boring chores, huh?

No, seriously, my laundry went from an exhausting and time consuming housework to something I just casually spend a few minutes a week on – and I'm so excited about that that I need to share.

The name “foreplay” implies that it's just an introduction phase to the “proper” sex.

Just like the name “starter” / “appetiser” / “entrée” means that, well… no one comes to a restaurant just to eat that.

But sex isn't like that at all. It can still be fucking awesome without any need for the penetration obsession.

Sometimes it takes people a long time to figure out their gender and sexuality (and it's perfectly okay!) I was 27 when I came out as pansexual, and honestly it's not even that late. Still, it makes me feel sad about all time “wasted” not knowing who I am and being confused AF.

So today I'd like to take a moment to rant about three of the awful things that contributed to that.

I used to think that the biggest advantage of the Internet compared to the old-fashioned media is that the communication doesn't just go one way. It's not just a few people broadcasting to everyone, but instead it's everyone having an equal voice.

But having spent years on the Internet has taught me something more: most of those “equal voices” are stupid and spiteful. And that's I don't have to listen to all of them.

There's plenty of reasons to love Daði Freyr's song (and my personal favourite for the 2020 Eurovision win) ”Think About Things”. But the most important reason is this: Daði is singing about treating his child like a human being. And that's why the song brings me to tears.

Having lived in three different countries and interacted with people from all around the world made me realise that Polish names have some pretty unique quirks – to which, as a native speaker, I didn't give too much thought, while foreigners find them quite strange.

For me, gender is over.

Not in a sad, “Game Over” way.

In a happy, “Mission accomplished” way.

Have you ever noticed how unfairly we treat our brains?

just saw Jojo Rabbit

it’s the saddest fucking comedy ever

don’t trust the trailer, bring tissues

(oh, and also, it’s great!)

If I had to chose only one song that I would be allowed to listen to for the rest of my life, I would be brokenhearted about all the wonderful music I would lose, but I wouldn’t hesitate for a second about which track I’d choose.

My bio says I’m “pan/gay”, which might seem pretty self-contradictory, right? It’s one or the other, right?

Well, here’s why:

I think we should see other people... No, I’m not breaking up with you, quite the opposite.

Seeing other people might be beneficial for a relationship. How? Well, let me introduce you to the concepts of “NRE” and “compersion”.

So it turns out, coming out is still something that I have to do sometimes . Surprisingly, though, it’s the other way around now. That’s a brand new experience to me So here it goes:

It’s #ComingOutDay, so I feel like I should tell you something...

Here it goes...

Ekhm...

I’m queer af

I know, I know, but please try to contain your shock

No, honestly, am I? I wanna know

I just had a chance to watch a prerelease showing of “Blinded by the Light”.

I started crying during one of the first scenes and I couldn’t stop till the end.

It might be obvious for most people, (you know, those who know the meaning of words), but apparently, judging from the tweet above and the answers to it, (where Polish right-wingers show WNBR as an example of how the LGBTQ community has “deprived” the West), some people still confuse naturism with exhibitionism and they think that it’s gay...

Well, here’s why it’s neither of those things:

Yeah, you have some cool photos... But do you have a photo of yourself biking naked in front of the Iamsterdam sign in the centre of Amsterdam?

It was definitelly the craziest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life – and I enjoyed every single second of it!

I need to rant.

I’ve had enough of Germany. I know, I know, it’s given me opportunities that I could never expect in my homeland of Poland, I’ve spent amazing three years here, I married the love of my life here... But now it’s not time for good stuff. Now it’s time for a complaint.

Here’s (some of) the reasons why I want to move out from this country.

I don’t really like Esperanto. As a language. As an idea I love it from all my heart! ️ That message of unity, peace and understanding though a common language! That brilliance of simplification and unification!

But I’ve always seen it advertised as “extremely simple”. Simple indeed, but extremely? You can certainly do better!

Being gay is not easy. Depending on where you live, it might mean different things to you. Best case scenario – some minor inconveniences. Worst case – even danger of death. LGBTQ youth has a higher suicide rate than their straight & cis friends, they fear getting disowned by their families, thrown out of their homes, in some countries being sentenced to prison or lashes... We don’t have equal rights, we can’t always show affection in public. Being gay can be scary, lonely and awful.

But there is also a good side to that. The side of being gay that I really really love!