Perfect wedding

I’ve been to so many weddings in my lifetime! Yet only one of them was not in a church, and not a single one was same-sex or performed in Germany. My first one is gonna be my own.

And I’m kinda scared...

I don’t really understand people who need to have a “perfect” wedding. This tradition is so stupid... Sure, marriage is a nice occasion to celebrate your love with family and friends, but is it really a good idea to spend your entire cash reserves or take a loan, right when you’re gonna need it the most? And most importantly: is it worth it to expect a perfect day and to put your heart into preparing that perfect day, when it’s almost certain that something will blow up in your face anyway, try as you might?

Call me a blasphemer, but for me marriage is going to be mainly about getting that piece of paper. Seriously. I don’t expect anything other than formalities to change after we tie a knot. We already love each other, we already live together, we want to be together anyway – hopefully till death tears us apart. The only meaningful thing that will happen during this ceremony is that the registrar will formally take a note of that.

From then on we’ll be able to collect each other’s post, decide about the other’s life in a hospital, we’ll get a bit richer tax-wise, etc. But the whole rest? I don’t expect it to change, and I hope it doesn’t!

Our relationship is defined by our love, our trust, our the decision to be together, etc. Not by the registrar, not by the government, not by a church, not by a sacrament.

That’s why I’m trying not to care about our wedding day too much. It’s supposed to be our day. Why do people keep having “first dances” at their weddings, when they hate dancing? Why do they keep inviting aunts they can’t stand? Why do they spend so much money on their wedding when they don’t really want a big wedding at all?

I’d be fine with inviting just the closest family and friends, dressing business casual, spending half an hour at a simple ceremony at the Registry Office and then grabbing some pizza and drinks. What’s so bad with a wedding like this?

Or maybe we do something bigger. Depending on what date we get, on who will be able to come to Berlin, how much money we save by then... But either way – I don’t really care as much, as people would expect me too.

Because I know one thing: big or small, expensive or cheap, fancy or simple – I will marry the greatest guy on Earth, and it will most definitely be the best wedding of our lives! 😍

A photo of me

About the author

Hi! I'm Andrea (they/them). I tell computers what to do, both for a living and for fun, I'm also into blogging, writing and photography. I'm trying to make the world just a little bit better: more inclusive, more rational and more just.

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