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Slutshaming + toxic masculinity = rape culture

Woman covering her face under a bedsheet

Yes, of course the only person responible for a rape is the rapist – they're a criminal and should be severely punished. I'm in no way defending them, nor am I victim-shaming the victims. At most, I'm culture-shaming our culture.

With that said: other than chasing the perpetrators, there's also a big cultural change we need to make, if we want to reduce the number of rapes...

We, as the society, treat people vastly differently depending on their gender. That's just a fact. And it's not just about the wage gap, retirement age, or representation in governments. It's also about how we approach their sexuality.

We teach boys that they are conquerors. Men are judged by their peers based on how much they get laid. The more the better. If you don't fuck – you're a loser.

We also teach girls to be iron virgins. If they are even just a tiny bit too promiscuous for someone's standards, we tell them that they're being “disrespectful to their bodies“. “Abstinence only” “sex educators” are telling them that if they have sex with more than one man in their lifetime, they're gonna be like a half-eaten apple, an old shoe, or a chewing gum someone else has chewed already.

“Disrespectful to their bodies“? What does that even mean? I'm respecting my body when I'm eating healthy, abstaining from smoking and drugs, exercising regularly... Having consensual, protected sex does not harm my body, it has nothing to do with (dis)respecting it.

With such a huge disparity between what society puts in the minds of men an women, we're bound to have problems. Men have to have sex. Women shouldn't have sex. What an explosive mix!

And how about we care about our own genitals without judging others for how they chose to use theirs? How about we agree that it's okay to have any number of sexual partners one choses to have? Whether it's none, or just one, or hundreds, whether you're a man, a woman, or neither – it's fine.

You're valid.