{"tag":"trust","articles":{"blog\/life\/a-short-story-about-polyamory-and-cheating":{"key":"blog\/life\/a-short-story-about-polyamory-and-cheating","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2021-03-27T19:57:56+01:00","publishedAt":"2021-03-27T19:57:56+01:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"life","slug":"a-short-story-about-polyamory-and-cheating"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"a-short-story-about-polyamory-and-cheating","title":"A short story about polyamory and cheating","intro":"\u003Cp\u003EI have a short story to tell. And it\u0027s a real one.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cp\u003EI have a short story to tell. And it\u0027s a real one.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMy husband (and I) had a friend, and she had a boyfriend.\nWhen they broke up, she started fucking around (not saying that as a bad thing; I\u0027m a slut myself, after all)\nand sharing stories with us.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut you see, the thing was \u2013 they never actually broke up. She just lied.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAlong with this one, we found out about a lot of other lies.\nAnd her visiting us in a multicultural country also exposed her racism\nthat we hadn\u0027t gotten a chance to see earlier.\nOverall, a huge shock and disappointment.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWe were angry as fuck, and feeling sorry for the boyfriend.\nSo we told him everything we\u0027d found out\n(and shared all the screenshots he might be insterested in).\nHe was thankful. Broke up with her and kicked her out.\nOverall, not the happiest ending for her.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EFast forward to last week. The guy\u2026 comes out as bisexual and \u003Ca href=\u0022\/tag\/polyamory\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-tag\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E polyamorous\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd my first thought was: \u003Cem\u003Edaaaamn, girl, you fucked up!\u003C\/em\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EImagine she had been honest him. Not necessarily with a straight-forward \u201cI wanna fuck other people\u201d,\nbut she could have dropped a hint or two, cracked a joke, asked him how he feels about it,\nlearned to communicate better in the relationship, and in general, you know, treated him as a partner\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey could have explored the world of ethical non-monogamy together.\nThey could have had the most amazing group sex they wanted.\nThey could have had an amazing, loving polycule.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut you can\u0027t build amazing relationships without the foundation of \u003Cstrong\u003Etrust, honesty and communication\u003C\/strong\u003E.\nPolyamory isn\u0027t about \u003Cem\u003Epromiscuous people getting together for some reason\u003C\/em\u003E.\nAn open relationship isn\u0027t \u003Cem\u003Eless\u003C\/em\u003E of an relationship \u2013 if anything, it\u0027s kinda \u003Cem\u003Emore\u003C\/em\u003E!\nBecause you need to really know your partner well, trust them and be honest with them,\nif you don\u0027t want to be constantly paranoid about what they do with other people.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf you actually get interested in your partner\u0027s needs, it might just turn out they align perfectly with yours.\nBut if you lie and cheat and make up an entire fake reality to cover up your infidelities,\ntrust me, no good relationship will come out of that \u2013\neven if the other person just happens to crave other relations as much as you do.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["polyamory","monogamy","cheating","trust","honesty","communication","story","friends","relationship"],"hasMore":true,"image":null,"introLite":"\u003Cp\u003EI have a short story to tell. And it\u0027s a real one.\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cp\u003EI have a short story to tell. And it\u0027s a real one.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMy husband (and I) had a friend, and she had a boyfriend.\nWhen they broke up, she started fucking around (not saying that as a bad thing; I\u0027m a slut myself, after all)\nand sharing stories with us.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut you see, the thing was \u2013 they never actually broke up. She just lied.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAlong with this one, we found out about a lot of other lies.\nAnd her visiting us in a multicultural country also exposed her racism\nthat we hadn\u0027t gotten a chance to see earlier.\nOverall, a huge shock and disappointment.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWe were angry as fuck, and feeling sorry for the boyfriend.\nSo we told him everything we\u0027d found out\n(and shared all the screenshots he might be insterested in).\nHe was thankful. Broke up with her and kicked her out.\nOverall, not the happiest ending for her.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EFast forward to last week. The guy\u2026 comes out as bisexual and \u003Ca href=\u0022\/tag\/polyamory\u0022\u003E polyamorous\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd my first thought was: \u003Cem\u003Edaaaamn, girl, you fucked up!\u003C\/em\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EImagine she had been honest him. Not necessarily with a straight-forward \u201cI wanna fuck other people\u201d,\nbut she could have dropped a hint or two, cracked a joke, asked him how he feels about it,\nlearned to communicate better in the relationship, and in general, you know, treated him as a partner\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey could have explored the world of ethical non-monogamy together.\nThey could have had the most amazing group sex they wanted.\nThey could have had an amazing, loving polycule.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut you can\u0027t build amazing relationships without the foundation of \u003Cstrong\u003Etrust, honesty and communication\u003C\/strong\u003E.\nPolyamory isn\u0027t about \u003Cem\u003Epromiscuous people getting together for some reason\u003C\/em\u003E.\nAn open relationship isn\u0027t \u003Cem\u003Eless\u003C\/em\u003E of an relationship \u2013 if anything, it\u0027s kinda \u003Cem\u003Emore\u003C\/em\u003E!\nBecause you need to really know your partner well, trust them and be honest with them,\nif you don\u0027t want to be constantly paranoid about what they do with other people.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf you actually get interested in your partner\u0027s needs, it might just turn out they align perfectly with yours.\nBut if you lie and cheat and make up an entire fake reality to cover up your infidelities,\ntrust me, no good relationship will come out of that \u2013\neven if the other person just happens to crave other relations as much as you do.\u003C\/p\u003E","words":386,"readTime":2,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/society\/cheating":{"key":"blog\/society\/cheating","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2018-08-21T17:35:54+02:00","publishedAt":"2018-08-21T17:26:00+02:00","group":"polyamory","category":"blog","subcategory":"society","slug":"cheating"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"cheating","title":"Cheating","intro":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/distracted-boyfriend_small.jpg\u0022 alt=\u0022Distracted boyfriend meme\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022240\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/distracted-boyfriend_small.jpg\u0022 alt=\u0022Distracted boyfriend meme\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022240\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThere is a song by Faun (\u201cTanz mit mir\u201d) in which a girl agrees to dance with a guy and then spend the night with him, but only if he is \u201cfaithful\u201d and \u201cdoesn\u2019t kiss any other girl\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt got me thinking... From a perspective of a non-monogramist that sounds like an extremely \u003Cem\u003Elow bar\u003C\/em\u003E for cheating. Really, a kiss is too much already? Maybe he can\u2019t even check out a girl? Oh, right, he probably can\u2019t.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf we counted how many kisses or hugs me and my husband have given out to other guys, we\u2019d have to get divorced repeatedly... Does it mean people in open relationships have no \u003Cem\u003Ebar\u003C\/em\u003E whatsoever? Hell no! We can feel cheated too!\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/distracted-boyfriend_big.jpg\u0022 alt=\u0022Distracted boyfriend meme\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022680\u0022 height=\u0022340\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/distracted-boyfriend_big.jpg\u0022 alt=\u0022Distracted boyfriend meme\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022680\u0022 height=\u0022340\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/knowyourmeme.com\/memes\/distracted-boyfriend\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\n                        \u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E\n                        knowyourmeme.com\/memes\/distracted-boyfriend\n                    \u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThere is a song by Faun (\u201cTanz mit mir\u201d) in which a girl agrees to dance with a guy and then spend the night with him, but only if he is \u201cfaithful\u201d and \u201cdoesn\u2019t kiss any other girl\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt got me thinking... From a perspective of a non-monogramist that sounds like an extremely \u003Cem\u003Elow bar\u003C\/em\u003E for cheating. Really, a kiss is too much already? Maybe he can\u2019t even check out a girl? Oh, right, he probably can\u2019t.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf we counted how many kisses or hugs me and my husband have given out to other guys, we\u2019d have to get divorced repeatedly... Does it mean people in open relationships have no \u003Cem\u003Ebar\u003C\/em\u003E whatsoever? Hell no! We can feel cheated too!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe thing is: my husband is the most important person in the world to me \u2013 and I can expect the same from him.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo when I really need him, when I\u2019m going through some trouble, when I\u2019m feeling down or whatever, I can always count on him being there for me. If he weren\u2019t, even though he could, I would feel betrayed...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ENo matter if it was because of a crazy sex party or just a beer with his friends... The important part is not the sex, but the fact that some petty thing was more important than me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo there it is: a totally different outlook on the issue of cheating. Based not on physical pleasures, but on trust, love and showing the other person that they\u2019re the most important one.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Chr \/\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022text-center my-4\u0022\u003E\u003Ciframe width=\u0022640\u0022 height=\u0022360\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/CK5MdsewTjM\u0022 frameborder=\u00220\u0022 allowfullscreen\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote class=\u0022blockquote ml-4 pl-4 border-left\u0022\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDoch nur wenn du heut\u2019 keine andre k\u00fcsst,\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nKeine andere k\u00fcsst, wenn du treu mir bist\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nDoch nur wenn du heut\u2019 keine andere k\u00fcsst,\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nSonst schl\u00e4fst du wohl allein\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["adultery","cheating","faithfulness","love","non-monogamy","open relationship","polyamory","principals","relationship","trust","values"],"hasMore":true,"image":"https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/distracted-boyfriend_small.jpg","introLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/distracted-boyfriend_big.jpg\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/distracted-boyfriend_mini.jpg\u0022 alt=\u0022Distracted boyfriend meme\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022120\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThere is a song by Faun (\u201cTanz mit mir\u201d) in which a girl agrees to dance with a guy and then spend the night with him, but only if he is \u201cfaithful\u201d and \u201cdoesn\u2019t kiss any other girl\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt got me thinking... From a perspective of a non-monogramist that sounds like an extremely \u003Cem\u003Elow bar\u003C\/em\u003E for cheating. Really, a kiss is too much already? Maybe he can\u2019t even check out a girl? Oh, right, he probably can\u2019t.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf we counted how many kisses or hugs me and my husband have given out to other guys, we\u2019d have to get divorced repeatedly... Does it mean people in open relationships have no \u003Cem\u003Ebar\u003C\/em\u003E whatsoever? Hell no! We can feel cheated too!\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/distracted-boyfriend_big.jpg\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/distracted-boyfriend_mini.jpg\u0022 alt=\u0022Distracted boyfriend meme\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022120\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/knowyourmeme.com\/memes\/distracted-boyfriend\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csmall\u003Eknowyourmeme.com\/memes\/distracted-boyfriend\u003C\/small\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThere is a song by Faun (\u201cTanz mit mir\u201d) in which a girl agrees to dance with a guy and then spend the night with him, but only if he is \u201cfaithful\u201d and \u201cdoesn\u2019t kiss any other girl\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt got me thinking... From a perspective of a non-monogramist that sounds like an extremely \u003Cem\u003Elow bar\u003C\/em\u003E for cheating. Really, a kiss is too much already? Maybe he can\u2019t even check out a girl? Oh, right, he probably can\u2019t.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf we counted how many kisses or hugs me and my husband have given out to other guys, we\u2019d have to get divorced repeatedly... Does it mean people in open relationships have no \u003Cem\u003Ebar\u003C\/em\u003E whatsoever? Hell no! We can feel cheated too!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe thing is: my husband is the most important person in the world to me \u2013 and I can expect the same from him.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo when I really need him, when I\u2019m going through some trouble, when I\u2019m feeling down or whatever, I can always count on him being there for me. If he weren\u2019t, even though he could, I would feel betrayed...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ENo matter if it was because of a crazy sex party or just a beer with his friends... The important part is not the sex, but the fact that some petty thing was more important than me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo there it is: a totally different outlook on the issue of cheating. Based not on physical pleasures, but on trust, love and showing the other person that they\u2019re the most important one.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Chr \/\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022text-center my-4\u0022\u003E\u003Ciframe width=\u0022640\u0022 height=\u0022360\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/CK5MdsewTjM\u0022 frameborder=\u00220\u0022 allowfullscreen\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDoch nur wenn du heut\u2019 keine andre k\u00fcsst,\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nKeine andere k\u00fcsst, wenn du treu mir bist\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nDoch nur wenn du heut\u2019 keine andere k\u00fcsst,\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nSonst schl\u00e4fst du wohl allein\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/blockquote\u003E","words":296,"readTime":2,"lang":"en"}}}}}