{"tag":"sexuality","articles":{"blog\/life\/how-did-i-not-know-i-m-pansexual-panromantic":{"key":"blog\/life\/how-did-i-not-know-i-m-pansexual-panromantic","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2021-01-17T12:51:29+01:00","publishedAt":"2021-01-17T12:51:29+01:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"life","slug":"how-did-i-not-know-i-m-pansexual-panromantic"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"how-did-i-not-know-i-m-pan","title":"How did I not know I\u0027m pansexual \u0026 panromantic?","intro":"\u003Cp\u003ESometimes it takes people a long time to figure out their gender and sexuality (and it\u0027s perfectly okay!)\nI was 27 when \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/coming-out-as-not-so-gay\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-heartbeat\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E I came out as pansexual\u003C\/a\u003E, and honestly it\u0027s not even that late.\nStill, it makes me feel sad about all time \u201cwasted\u201d not knowing who I am and being confused AF.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo today I\u0027d like to take a moment to rant about three of the awful things that contributed to that.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cp\u003ESometimes it takes people a long time to figure out their gender and sexuality (and it\u0027s perfectly okay!)\nI was 27 when \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/coming-out-as-not-so-gay\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-heartbeat\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E I came out as pansexual\u003C\/a\u003E, and honestly it\u0027s not even that late.\nStill, it makes me feel sad about all time \u201cwasted\u201d not knowing who I am and being confused AF.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo today I\u0027d like to take a moment to rant about three of the awful things that contributed to that.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EPatriarchy and heteronormativity\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIn pretty much every movie, book or TV series the heteronormative relationships look the same.\nThe girls is supposed to be submissive, delicate, while the guy is dominant and strong.\nHe\u0027s supposed to fight for her, impress her, ask her out, pay for her.\nShe\u0027s supposed to play hard to get, innocent\u2026\nHe makes money, she\u0027s a hausfrau.\nRoles are clearly defined and very asymmetrical.\nMost love stories don\u0027t look like love, but rather a conquest.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESeeing same-sex relationships was so fucking refreshing for me!\nNo stupid schemas, expectations, rectum-derived rules!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u0027s why straight people keep asking gays the iditoic question\n\u201cwho\u0027s the man and who\u0027s the woman in your relationship?\u201d.\nThey get that a guy might like men instead of women, but still cannot comprehend\nany other model of the relationship than what popular culture taught them.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd I did the opposite \u2013 I knew I don\u0027t want a patriarchal relationship,\nI just didn\u0027t realise I \u003Cem\u003Ecan\u003C\/em\u003E have that with a woman.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EMainstream porn\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003C!--\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/reality-kings_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022A screenshot of a porn scene from \u201cReality Kings\u201d studio\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022720\u0022 height=\u0022404\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACQAAAAUCAYAAADlep81AAAACXBIWXMAAA7EAAAOxAGVKw4bAAAGgElEQVRIiVWWy4od1xWGv7XWrtup0+ec7rRaV8uKpdhKMHY8CHgeAiEPEvJYgYBfIINM4oEnAWMMCbmAjSViy5EsWWp197nWvmZQR215T3axoYp\/\/f+3Vm356M8fl+OrtzATnBnr5ZJn3z5g\/fIxOQacGSBAwZzjzv33qbuW7XrJ53\/7hNPHX\/P2\/XdJJbM4PKSfznGuYvnwS0LJPPjsU8rJNWy9ZH12yju\/+R3eR65ev06MmRgDKSWCHxh8wJVSSCFAMaQUMom6rpB+RvAbTBVRQ1UQNbz3dJOeSTvhrXtvc+f2m9SVkVKknx5QVy1WOc79QNfUyJUT2ouXRKA1JaVMLoWqalBNqCohREAoCM4PCe8HLBvZOUoCVaPtWkwLaorIKEbEmB0e088WQGGxXrJbnWMkcsq0dYfVFaaCLB+zfvSS68uBfz96xGlQ5nfucjIEFkdHmFV75+UygZwTLvodYRjIycgpkVPEKWhdQ4moOlQVVUVUEfargJnR1DVkj5jD1Q5zFWbG\/P6HyHxBfP6MDuXqyVXqpmW5WjGd9sSYKKWQc0YERAQzw+WUCN6PkVGIKZJKoXKOkmtM7TVBtq8FVAoi4KoayaOrrqpHQeqoRDh99IiTk0NcM6Wb9ORcMDNEFNWCqqCqmCk5GzlnXIqBHD1FK4oZJUVKyThzYBVmiu4ZMnNAvjTZRBBXoUUQU1zlUHOoKK1lqvNvqd68QRDHankBCE3boqrknDEbReRsmI27iyni\/Q6Rgjobqc+ZnQ9Uqqg5zGyE24xCeRUaqqOrKg41w6mD4QJch7tynQajuBoTI6VEjJF515FzRlUppezdUnLW0bGcAjklUgrEEIgx4HcD282GUsZ4EEFUUbFLgF6dq+jIkzpMCrv\/\/oP1908IUqPTY6Sd4VxNzpmmacciRJARHET339Y9Q8vVOYVM6xvcdkPMAXKg7fvLuEABQQR2uxVWNVAyMfmx0jRWHHYbHn71kPam47g5oGk7qqpiu92AjIwhY1u8LqoAZb9r0\/b0Bwu66Yy2n9K0E+qq3kfyQ4epGqJG006pm5a6bnFqxDSywJ6ui7Xnoz\/+iRf\/\/JQJgc1mA2UU4Jy7FCIiI4vySuN45rzfEfwWJVKcoySPCKjuLRVF97uIQBjYLl8SdmuGzQpTxfo5KWeyCDej8NsbJ0wbwzlH3Pp9A4Cq7nv0tVX2YhBUBO3wNGlHlQbqPNBponUVlWsgF\/Dh0mJVxYnAds3u7HskeghjASll8mrNjY1n1lS4Lx4ThkDbNvv3QSlIkR\/p+cGpMjq02WwYTs95volESxx2pwzhFv3EWDz8kvDZ59z8\/R+49sEvoZR9lDpGlBNaOQpCCB5fEvNff8jRNw+Rq+9i0znDdo0omLjLify6mMuOFSGL4L558C\/Y7PBx4KDvuDClqi5gOGB33FE+uMf05vU9gJBzZvCBZ89OefH8KUMI+AhXr13j9q0b7Oa3ODo65T9P\/8fkzj1iGFgtL+inU0SVXMqPRKmOUcUCpRRcZQ4nW95671c0bU8q4ENiCJEnz55wdNDzl4\/\/yvfPX3Jxds52s0TI5M0FXeOYdi3HV45phrvMzTOb9bw4XzO0b\/DFg0f89PYV5otDhmFAXjlRxsJKyVAyME79GCPy\/jt3y8+uH\/L3b86gZFxV03cNXVVB2nL36pz54RVizMymPYvFnMmk5an8nK+ffEfYPqWpCio1rmp54\/ovuLd4zLY+JCbh5rUp3cGMLELXH+AqR0qRGCM55\/3zODS997j12XP8Yc1Jm1lMew66hq6tmTQtXXPEfHHA7PAabT+n6SaIOUQKF0uYnrzH2SqwToLlgbpyrJISg+dwssMaJZyuGF58R4iRejqjmy2QqsY1HeKMlPYNkfMI9f3b15hNWo4Pr9D1PV3T0DQNbWO0tdHUFW0\/oe17XNWAOWKOzOJXvFt\/xUs5Y5UzjTOOFwtqy0iuGFZgdUNbOygJI6Bhy3DqScmz3QVCAVyN6zqqrkfrGrc4vslk0tB0BzRNR+0UZ4rKeHHzJVJ3hZwSxWWcKVa3zCcVu+UpN+Zu5CEnoj+l7VocipWEk0IpEQVqN\/4yihSEQuUMiQG\/XbI6f85qvWY3eJw7WKDtBG3b8Q5kCiWRS6GuW3Lcsd3tyOpoimJiuKqC5gCXQOKGuiqX09wErBbUCaVEgs+UoogpSgIK3fwnHM0P8dsNqRTqtsX7wLNvv+b\/fqwRfgQMDQwAAAAASUVORK5CYII=\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/reality-kings_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022A screenshot of a porn scene from \u201cReality Kings\u201d studio\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022720\u0022 height=\u0022404\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/JFilmsxxx\/status\/1300307152783974400\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\n                        \u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E\n                        twitter.com\/JFilmsxxx\/status\/1300307152783974400\n                    \u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\n            \u003C\/figure\u003E--\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAs hard as it might be to believe,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/JFilmsxxx\/status\/1300307152783974400\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E this outrageously unrealistic porn scene\u003C\/a\u003E\n\u003Cspan class=\u0022badge badge-warning\u0022\u003ECW: porn\u003C\/span\u003E\nhas been released by a studio called \u201cReality Kings\u201d. How ironic!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThose boobs are fake. Those lips are fake. This voice is fake.\nThe plot is unrealistic. Getting a blowjob while still hanging from a basketball loop\nis probably not comfortable enough for people to actually do in real life.\nAnd don\u0027t even get me started on his dick springing out rock hard right away\nwith no mental or physical stimulation whatsoever.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd that\u0027s not an exception, the fakeness pretty much a common theme.\nThe strong makeup that\u0027s supposed to start dripping with her tears when she gets face-fucked by a colossal dick.\nThe almost absolute lack of interest in the girl\u0027s pleasure\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf that\u0027s what straight sex is like, I don\u0027t want it.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EExcept porn lied to me! Sex isn\u0027t like that.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EMonogamy\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWell, not monogamy \u003Cem\u003Eper se\u003C\/em\u003E, but forcing it as the default, or even the only, option.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen everyone in your life tells you you\u0027re supposed to find \u201cthe one and only\u201d and \u201ctill death tears us apart\u201d,\nit\u0027s easy to fall into the trap of feeling forced to choose.\nNot just the \u003Cem\u003Eperson\u003C\/em\u003E to spend your whole life with, but the entire \u003Cem\u003Egender\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EFinding out that it\u0027s possible (and awesome!) to love more than one person at the same time\nhas also opened my eyes to endless other possibilities.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ESumming up\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThere\u0027s way more, but those three things in particular I\u0027m very angry about.\nThe world keeps lying to us about how to be happy. It shows us just one possible way:\na patriarchal, monogamous relationship. Or, yeah, whatever those gays are doing.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut turns out that queerness is vastly more colourful than any of that!\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["sexuality","gender","sexual orientation","romantic orientation","patriarchy","porn","monogamy","polyamory","queer"],"hasMore":true,"image":null,"introLite":"\u003Cp\u003ESometimes it takes people a long time to figure out their gender and sexuality (and it\u0027s perfectly okay!)\nI was 27 when \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/coming-out-as-not-so-gay.lite\u0022\u003E I came out as pansexual\u003C\/a\u003E, and honestly it\u0027s not even that late.\nStill, it makes me feel sad about all time \u201cwasted\u201d not knowing who I am and being confused AF.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo today I\u0027d like to take a moment to rant about three of the awful things that contributed to that.\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cp\u003ESometimes it takes people a long time to figure out their gender and sexuality (and it\u0027s perfectly okay!)\nI was 27 when \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/coming-out-as-not-so-gay.lite\u0022\u003E I came out as pansexual\u003C\/a\u003E, and honestly it\u0027s not even that late.\nStill, it makes me feel sad about all time \u201cwasted\u201d not knowing who I am and being confused AF.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo today I\u0027d like to take a moment to rant about three of the awful things that contributed to that.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EPatriarchy and heteronormativity\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIn pretty much every movie, book or TV series the heteronormative relationships look the same.\nThe girls is supposed to be submissive, delicate, while the guy is dominant and strong.\nHe\u0027s supposed to fight for her, impress her, ask her out, pay for her.\nShe\u0027s supposed to play hard to get, innocent\u2026\nHe makes money, she\u0027s a hausfrau.\nRoles are clearly defined and very asymmetrical.\nMost love stories don\u0027t look like love, but rather a conquest.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESeeing same-sex relationships was so fucking refreshing for me!\nNo stupid schemas, expectations, rectum-derived rules!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u0027s why straight people keep asking gays the iditoic question\n\u201cwho\u0027s the man and who\u0027s the woman in your relationship?\u201d.\nThey get that a guy might like men instead of women, but still cannot comprehend\nany other model of the relationship than what popular culture taught them.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd I did the opposite \u2013 I knew I don\u0027t want a patriarchal relationship,\nI just didn\u0027t realise I \u003Cem\u003Ecan\u003C\/em\u003E have that with a woman.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EMainstream porn\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003C!--\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/reality-kings_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/reality-kings_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022A screenshot of a porn scene from \u201cReality Kings\u201d studio\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022134.66666666667\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/JFilmsxxx\/status\/1300307152783974400\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csmall\u003Etwitter.com\/JFilmsxxx\/status\/1300307152783974400\u003C\/small\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E--\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAs hard as it might be to believe,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/JFilmsxxx\/status\/1300307152783974400\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E this outrageously unrealistic porn scene\u003C\/a\u003E\n\u003Cspan class=\u0022badge badge-warning\u0022\u003ECW: porn\u003C\/span\u003E\nhas been released by a studio called \u201cReality Kings\u201d. How ironic!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThose boobs are fake. Those lips are fake. This voice is fake.\nThe plot is unrealistic. Getting a blowjob while still hanging from a basketball loop\nis probably not comfortable enough for people to actually do in real life.\nAnd don\u0027t even get me started on his dick springing out rock hard right away\nwith no mental or physical stimulation whatsoever.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd that\u0027s not an exception, the fakeness pretty much a common theme.\nThe strong makeup that\u0027s supposed to start dripping with her tears when she gets face-fucked by a colossal dick.\nThe almost absolute lack of interest in the girl\u0027s pleasure\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf that\u0027s what straight sex is like, I don\u0027t want it.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EExcept porn lied to me! Sex isn\u0027t like that.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EMonogamy\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWell, not monogamy \u003Cem\u003Eper se\u003C\/em\u003E, but forcing it as the default, or even the only, option.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen everyone in your life tells you you\u0027re supposed to find \u201cthe one and only\u201d and \u201ctill death tears us apart\u201d,\nit\u0027s easy to fall into the trap of feeling forced to choose.\nNot just the \u003Cem\u003Eperson\u003C\/em\u003E to spend your whole life with, but the entire \u003Cem\u003Egender\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EFinding out that it\u0027s possible (and awesome!) to love more than one person at the same time\nhas also opened my eyes to endless other possibilities.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ESumming up\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThere\u0027s way more, but those three things in particular I\u0027m very angry about.\nThe world keeps lying to us about how to be happy. It shows us just one possible way:\na patriarchal, monogamous relationship. Or, yeah, whatever those gays are doing.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut turns out that queerness is vastly more colourful than any of that!\u003C\/p\u003E","words":534,"readTime":3,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/society\/ally-is-not-a-sexuality":{"key":"blog\/society\/ally-is-not-a-sexuality","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2020-06-14T01:38:21+02:00","publishedAt":"2020-06-14T01:38:21+02:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"society","slug":"ally-is-not-a-sexuality"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"ally-is-not-a-sexuality","title":"\u201cAlly\u201d is not a sexuality","intro":"\u003Cp\u003E\u201cA\u201d in LGBTQIA+ stands for asexual, aromantic \u0026amp; agender \u2013 not for \u201cally\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBeing an ally is not a gender \/ sexual \/ romantic minority.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBeing an ally is just basic human decency.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cp\u003E\u201cA\u201d in LGBTQIA+ stands for asexual, aromantic \u0026amp; agender \u2013 not for \u201cally\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBeing an ally is not a gender \/ sexual \/ romantic minority.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBeing an ally is just basic human decency.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["ally","minority","sexuality","lgbtq","lgbtqia+","gsrm"],"hasMore":false,"image":null,"introLite":"\u003Cp\u003E\u201cA\u201d in LGBTQIA+ stands for asexual, aromantic \u0026amp; agender \u2013 not for \u201cally\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBeing an ally is not a gender \/ sexual \/ romantic minority.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBeing an ally is just basic human decency.\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cp\u003E\u201cA\u201d in LGBTQIA+ stands for asexual, aromantic \u0026amp; agender \u2013 not for \u201cally\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBeing an ally is not a gender \/ sexual \/ romantic minority.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBeing an ally is just basic human decency.\u003C\/p\u003E","words":30,"readTime":null,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/life\/how-come-i-m-both-gay-and-pan":{"key":"blog\/life\/how-come-i-m-both-gay-and-pan","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2019-12-08T11:21:53+01:00","publishedAt":"2019-12-08T11:08:00+01:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"life","slug":"how-come-i-m-both-gay-and-pan"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"how-come-i-m-both-gay-and-pan","title":"How come I\u0027m both \u201cgay\u201d and \u201cpan\u201d?","intro":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pan-is-gay_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@UrFavGay_ on Twitter: Pansexuality is gay\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022399.2\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pan-is-gay_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@UrFavGay_ on Twitter: Pansexuality is gay\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022399.2\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMy bio says I\u2019m \u201cpan\/gay\u201d, which might seem pretty self-contradictory, right? It\u2019s one or the other, right?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWell, here\u2019s why:\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pan-is-gay_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@UrFavGay_ on Twitter: Pansexuality is gay\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022600\u0022 height=\u0022499\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pan-is-gay_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@UrFavGay_ on Twitter: Pansexuality is gay\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022600\u0022 height=\u0022499\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/UrFavGay_\/status\/1232274231133720579\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\n                        \u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E\n                        twitter.com\/UrFavGay_\/status\/1232274231133720579\n                    \u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMy bio says I\u2019m \u201cpan\/gay\u201d, which might seem pretty self-contradictory, right? It\u2019s one or the other, right?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWell, here\u2019s why:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EFirst of all, \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Kinsey_scale\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E sexual orientation is a spectrum\u003C\/a\u003E.\nSecond of all, it\u2019s not set in stone. I don\u2019t think anyone has to just pick one label and stick to it.\nCalling myself \u201cpan\/gay\u201d is my way of saying that I\u2019m attracted to people of all genders,\nbut with a strong preference for guys. How strong? Am I a 4 or a 5 on the Kinsey scale? Dunno \ud83e\udd37\u200d\nThere\u2019s the word \u201chomoflexible\u201d... But \u003Cem\u003Eam I\u003C\/em\u003E homoflexible?\nAnd how many people know what it means without googling?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI don\u2019t know, and I care less and less about putting a label or a number on it.\nOne thing for sure: just \u201cpan\u201d or just \u201cgay\u201d doesn\u2019t tell the whole story.\nBut combined? They say enough and are easy to understand.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd then, there\u2019s also this thing that I\u2019m \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/am-i-non-binary\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-heartbeat\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E nonbinary\u003C\/a\u003E.\nI might look like a man at the first glance, I might own a penis, but I\u2019m not a man, I don\u2019t subscribe to the binary.\nIs it gay to be into guys, if I\u2019m not a guy? What do I call that?\nThere\u2019s this thing called \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/lgbta.wikia.org\/wiki\/Diamoric\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E diamoric orientations\u003C\/a\u003E,\nbut neither one from the list really fits me (and again, almost nobody knows them).\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd finally, I\u2019ve spent a huge chunk of my life identifying as gay (\u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/coming-out-as-not-so-gay\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-heartbeat\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E Coming out as... not so gay \ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffc\u003C\/a\u003E).\nI\u2019ve become a part of the gay community, used gay apps, visited gay bars, and I still do.\nThat identity doesn\u2019t disappear overnight just because\nI finally decided to embrace other sides of my sexuality. It never will.\nMy \u201cgayness\u201d is more than just attraction to guys.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDon\u0027t forget, that in many contexts \u201cgay\u201d might actually be a synecdoche for the whole LGBTQ+ community.\nFor instance, when you advocate for \u201cgay rights\u201d, you probably don\u0027t want to exclude bi or pan folx,\nyou do demand the same rights for them as you demand for gay people, even if you don\u0027t explicitly mention them.\nOr when you use the rainbow flag to represent gays specifically, as well as queers in general.\nOr when you use \u201cgay pride\u201d and \u201cLGBTQ pride\u201d interchangably.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo, summing up: it\u2019s not self-contradictory, it\u2019s just complicated.\nBut \u201cpan\/gay\u201d is the best approximation of the truth I can fit in 7 bytes, so I\u2019ll go with that.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/bryn-queerness_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@brynismyname on Twitter: My queerness has always fallen between the margins of identities and I will use whatever word I like to describe my experience. I\u2019m gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, non-binary, trans, femme, woman, domme, sub, daddy, poly. I\u2019m not erasing anyone\u2019s identity by describing my own.\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022602\u0022 height=\u0022399\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/bryn-queerness_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@brynismyname on Twitter: My queerness has always fallen between the margins of identities and I will use whatever word I like to describe my experience. I\u2019m gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, non-binary, trans, femme, woman, domme, sub, daddy, poly. I\u2019m not erasing anyone\u2019s identity by describing my own.\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022602\u0022 height=\u0022399\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/brynismyname\/status\/1233768229010579456\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\n                        \u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E\n                        twitter.com\/brynismyname\/status\/1233768229010579456\n                    \u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["homosexuality","identity","labels","lgbtq","pansexuality","sexuality","diamoric"],"hasMore":true,"image":"https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pan-is-gay_small.png","introLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pan-is-gay_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pan-is-gay_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@UrFavGay_ on Twitter: Pansexuality is gay\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022199.6\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMy bio says I\u2019m \u201cpan\/gay\u201d, which might seem pretty self-contradictory, right? It\u2019s one or the other, right?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWell, here\u2019s why:\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pan-is-gay_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pan-is-gay_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@UrFavGay_ on Twitter: Pansexuality is gay\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022199.6\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/UrFavGay_\/status\/1232274231133720579\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csmall\u003Etwitter.com\/UrFavGay_\/status\/1232274231133720579\u003C\/small\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMy bio says I\u2019m \u201cpan\/gay\u201d, which might seem pretty self-contradictory, right? It\u2019s one or the other, right?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWell, here\u2019s why:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EFirst of all, \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Kinsey_scale\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E sexual orientation is a spectrum\u003C\/a\u003E.\nSecond of all, it\u2019s not set in stone. I don\u2019t think anyone has to just pick one label and stick to it.\nCalling myself \u201cpan\/gay\u201d is my way of saying that I\u2019m attracted to people of all genders,\nbut with a strong preference for guys. How strong? Am I a 4 or a 5 on the Kinsey scale? Dunno \ud83e\udd37\u200d\nThere\u2019s the word \u201chomoflexible\u201d... But \u003Cem\u003Eam I\u003C\/em\u003E homoflexible?\nAnd how many people know what it means without googling?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI don\u2019t know, and I care less and less about putting a label or a number on it.\nOne thing for sure: just \u201cpan\u201d or just \u201cgay\u201d doesn\u2019t tell the whole story.\nBut combined? They say enough and are easy to understand.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd then, there\u2019s also this thing that I\u2019m \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/am-i-non-binary.lite\u0022\u003E nonbinary\u003C\/a\u003E.\nI might look like a man at the first glance, I might own a penis, but I\u2019m not a man, I don\u2019t subscribe to the binary.\nIs it gay to be into guys, if I\u2019m not a guy? What do I call that?\nThere\u2019s this thing called \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/lgbta.wikia.org\/wiki\/Diamoric\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E diamoric orientations\u003C\/a\u003E,\nbut neither one from the list really fits me (and again, almost nobody knows them).\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd finally, I\u2019ve spent a huge chunk of my life identifying as gay (\u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/coming-out-as-not-so-gay.lite\u0022\u003E Coming out as... not so gay \ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffc\u003C\/a\u003E).\nI\u2019ve become a part of the gay community, used gay apps, visited gay bars, and I still do.\nThat identity doesn\u2019t disappear overnight just because\nI finally decided to embrace other sides of my sexuality. It never will.\nMy \u201cgayness\u201d is more than just attraction to guys.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDon\u0027t forget, that in many contexts \u201cgay\u201d might actually be a synecdoche for the whole LGBTQ+ community.\nFor instance, when you advocate for \u201cgay rights\u201d, you probably don\u0027t want to exclude bi or pan folx,\nyou do demand the same rights for them as you demand for gay people, even if you don\u0027t explicitly mention them.\nOr when you use the rainbow flag to represent gays specifically, as well as queers in general.\nOr when you use \u201cgay pride\u201d and \u201cLGBTQ pride\u201d interchangably.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo, summing up: it\u2019s not self-contradictory, it\u2019s just complicated.\nBut \u201cpan\/gay\u201d is the best approximation of the truth I can fit in 7 bytes, so I\u2019ll go with that.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/bryn-queerness_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/bryn-queerness_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@brynismyname on Twitter: My queerness has always fallen between the margins of identities and I will use whatever word I like to describe my experience. I\u2019m gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, non-binary, trans, femme, woman, domme, sub, daddy, poly. I\u2019m not erasing anyone\u2019s identity by describing my own.\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022159.06976744186\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/brynismyname\/status\/1233768229010579456\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csmall\u003Etwitter.com\/brynismyname\/status\/1233768229010579456\u003C\/small\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E","words":427,"readTime":2,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/life\/coming-out-as-not-so-gay":{"key":"blog\/life\/coming-out-as-not-so-gay","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2019-11-03T13:41:40+01:00","publishedAt":"2019-11-03T17:00:00+01:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"life","slug":"coming-out-as-not-so-gay"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"coming-out-as-not-so-gay","title":"Coming out as... not so gay \ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffc","intro":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pansexual-pride-flag_small.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022309.41538461538\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pansexual-pride-flag_small.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022309.41538461538\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo it turns out, coming out is still something that I have to do sometimes \ud83d\ude44. Surprisingly, though, it\u2019s the other way around now. That\u2019s a brand new experience to me \ud83d\ude05 So here it goes:\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pansexual-pride-flag_big.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022650\u0022 height=\u0022419\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pansexual-pride-flag_big.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022650\u0022 height=\u0022419\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/krikienoid.github.io\/flagwaver\/\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\n                        \u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E\n                        krikienoid.github.io\/flagwaver\n                    \u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo it turns out, coming out is still something that I have to do sometimes \ud83d\ude44. Surprisingly, though, it\u2019s the other way around now. That\u2019s a brand new experience to me \ud83d\ude05 So here it goes:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELet me tell you a story of a random, average gay guy growing up in a homophobic environment.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHe discovers something strange about himself, but he can\u2019t even put a name on it. He never saw gay couples in his life, he has no idea that liking boys is \u003Cem\u003Ean option\u003C\/em\u003E, he never saw gay porn, he never even heard the word.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThen he does hear it. And he hears that it is a bad thing.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHe lives half of his teenage years in fear \u2013 fear that he\u2019ll have to tell someone one day, fear that he\u2019ll be hated for who he is, fear that he\u2019ll end up alone for the rest of his life...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut he also hears the word \u201cbisexual\u201d. Hmm, sounds like a safe middle ground, actually. Maybe his parents will hate him less if he tells them he\u2019s bisexual, and not gay? (they won\u2019t, don\u2019t kid yourself, kid)... Maybe he actually \u003Cem\u003Edoes\u003C\/em\u003E like girls? He was focusing so much on the threat of eternal damnation for liking boys, that he didn\u2019t really consider that.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey tell him that one \u003Cem\u003Emust\u003C\/em\u003E \u201cpick a side\u201d though. They bombard him with Disney movies and Hollywood clich\u00e9s of a perfect romantic love that he absolutely \u003Cem\u003Emust\u003C\/em\u003E pursue if he ever wants to be happy. The once-in-a-lifetime love only happens once in a lifetime, silly! If you ever want to find \u003Cem\u003E\u201cthe one\u201d\u003C\/em\u003E, first select the right half of the population!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s a struggle to come out. But he finally does. As gay. It\u2019s simpler that way. Nobody knows about the \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.m.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Kinsey_scale\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E Kinsey scale\u003C\/a\u003E anyway. Nobody can think outside the binary. They won\u2019t understand you. You don\u2019t even know yourself who you are \u2013 how can you expect anyone else to?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBeing gay turns out to be not so bad. Homophobia is terrifying, sure, but the community is so lovely! Everywhere he goes, there\u2019s his queer family ready to welcome him! Well, his \u003Cem\u003Egay\u003C\/em\u003E family.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Chr \/\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo here I was. I met a perfect guy for me. We were monogamish and our sex was always 100% male. We got married. I was pretty much \u003Cem\u003E\u201cconfirmed\u201d\u003C\/em\u003E as gay.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EExcept that\u2019s not what I am.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI never \u201ccame out\u201d to my husband as (as he calls it) \u201cpussy-curious\u201d. It just was out there, that some day I might want to experiment in that direction.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOur relationship got more open and slightly poly, so I did. And I liked it.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI might be turned on by masculinity and cocks more strongly and more often than by femininity and pussies, but I\u2019ve noticed that at the end the person\u2019s gender or their genitals are not really that high up on the list of reasons to sleep with them \ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffc\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut hey, everyone thinks I\u2019m gay... I\u2019m married to a guy after all! I fight for marriage equality, I\u2019ve used the \u201cgay\u201d label so many times in my life... No wonder that friends simply see me as gay.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut I\u2019m surprised that even to me it kinda feels \u003Cem\u003Ewrong\u003C\/em\u003E in a way...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut it isn\u2019t. At all. Human sexuality is \u003Cem\u003Enot\u003C\/em\u003E set in stone. Your sexual orientation can just change overtime (it\u2019s not the same as saying that you can forcibly change someone\u2019s orientation!), and it\u2019s totally fine. You can keep discovering your sexuality that has always been there and it\u2019s still fine.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/am-i-non-binary\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-heartbeat\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E Experimenting with my gender\u003C\/a\u003E made me realise: we\u2019re not really bound by binaries. They\u2019re all in our heads.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI don\u2019t have to comply with gender norms, I don\u2019t have to be \u201cmale\u201d or \u201cfemale\u201d. And my sexuality isn\u2019t (and doesn\u2019t have to) be so clearly defined either. I\u2019m still gay, it\u2019s still a huge part of my identity. But I\u2019m also pan.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to feel like I\u2019m kinda self-censoring. Like I\u2019m \u003Cem\u003Enot supposed to\u003C\/em\u003E like this or that. It\u2019s so much easier not to care anymore!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI didn\u2019t lose my identity after eating the first pussy. I just discovered a new one.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt took me a while to figure it out, but beter late than ever, right? \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["coming out","homosexuality","identity","lgbtq","pansexuality","sex","sexual orientation","sexuality"],"hasMore":true,"image":"https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pansexual-pride-flag_small.jpeg","introLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pansexual-pride-flag_big.jpeg\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pansexual-pride-flag_mini.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022154.70769230769\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo it turns out, coming out is still something that I have to do sometimes \ud83d\ude44. Surprisingly, though, it\u2019s the other way around now. That\u2019s a brand new experience to me \ud83d\ude05 So here it goes:\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pansexual-pride-flag_big.jpeg\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/pansexual-pride-flag_mini.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022154.70769230769\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/krikienoid.github.io\/flagwaver\/\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csmall\u003Ekrikienoid.github.io\/flagwaver\u003C\/small\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo it turns out, coming out is still something that I have to do sometimes \ud83d\ude44. Surprisingly, though, it\u2019s the other way around now. That\u2019s a brand new experience to me \ud83d\ude05 So here it goes:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELet me tell you a story of a random, average gay guy growing up in a homophobic environment.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHe discovers something strange about himself, but he can\u2019t even put a name on it. He never saw gay couples in his life, he has no idea that liking boys is \u003Cem\u003Ean option\u003C\/em\u003E, he never saw gay porn, he never even heard the word.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThen he does hear it. And he hears that it is a bad thing.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHe lives half of his teenage years in fear \u2013 fear that he\u2019ll have to tell someone one day, fear that he\u2019ll be hated for who he is, fear that he\u2019ll end up alone for the rest of his life...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut he also hears the word \u201cbisexual\u201d. Hmm, sounds like a safe middle ground, actually. Maybe his parents will hate him less if he tells them he\u2019s bisexual, and not gay? (they won\u2019t, don\u2019t kid yourself, kid)... Maybe he actually \u003Cem\u003Edoes\u003C\/em\u003E like girls? He was focusing so much on the threat of eternal damnation for liking boys, that he didn\u2019t really consider that.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey tell him that one \u003Cem\u003Emust\u003C\/em\u003E \u201cpick a side\u201d though. They bombard him with Disney movies and Hollywood clich\u00e9s of a perfect romantic love that he absolutely \u003Cem\u003Emust\u003C\/em\u003E pursue if he ever wants to be happy. The once-in-a-lifetime love only happens once in a lifetime, silly! If you ever want to find \u003Cem\u003E\u201cthe one\u201d\u003C\/em\u003E, first select the right half of the population!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s a struggle to come out. But he finally does. As gay. It\u2019s simpler that way. Nobody knows about the \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.m.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Kinsey_scale\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E Kinsey scale\u003C\/a\u003E anyway. Nobody can think outside the binary. They won\u2019t understand you. You don\u2019t even know yourself who you are \u2013 how can you expect anyone else to?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBeing gay turns out to be not so bad. Homophobia is terrifying, sure, but the community is so lovely! Everywhere he goes, there\u2019s his queer family ready to welcome him! Well, his \u003Cem\u003Egay\u003C\/em\u003E family.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Chr \/\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo here I was. I met a perfect guy for me. We were monogamish and our sex was always 100% male. We got married. I was pretty much \u003Cem\u003E\u201cconfirmed\u201d\u003C\/em\u003E as gay.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EExcept that\u2019s not what I am.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI never \u201ccame out\u201d to my husband as (as he calls it) \u201cpussy-curious\u201d. It just was out there, that some day I might want to experiment in that direction.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOur relationship got more open and slightly poly, so I did. And I liked it.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI might be turned on by masculinity and cocks more strongly and more often than by femininity and pussies, but I\u2019ve noticed that at the end the person\u2019s gender or their genitals are not really that high up on the list of reasons to sleep with them \ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffc\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut hey, everyone thinks I\u2019m gay... I\u2019m married to a guy after all! I fight for marriage equality, I\u2019ve used the \u201cgay\u201d label so many times in my life... No wonder that friends simply see me as gay.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut I\u2019m surprised that even to me it kinda feels \u003Cem\u003Ewrong\u003C\/em\u003E in a way...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut it isn\u2019t. At all. Human sexuality is \u003Cem\u003Enot\u003C\/em\u003E set in stone. Your sexual orientation can just change overtime (it\u2019s not the same as saying that you can forcibly change someone\u2019s orientation!), and it\u2019s totally fine. You can keep discovering your sexuality that has always been there and it\u2019s still fine.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/am-i-non-binary.lite\u0022\u003E Experimenting with my gender\u003C\/a\u003E made me realise: we\u2019re not really bound by binaries. They\u2019re all in our heads.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI don\u2019t have to comply with gender norms, I don\u2019t have to be \u201cmale\u201d or \u201cfemale\u201d. And my sexuality isn\u2019t (and doesn\u2019t have to) be so clearly defined either. I\u2019m still gay, it\u2019s still a huge part of my identity. But I\u2019m also pan.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to feel like I\u2019m kinda self-censoring. Like I\u2019m \u003Cem\u003Enot supposed to\u003C\/em\u003E like this or that. It\u2019s so much easier not to care anymore!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI didn\u2019t lose my identity after eating the first pussy. I just discovered a new one.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt took me a while to figure it out, but beter late than ever, right? \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E","words":749,"readTime":3,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/life\/comingoutday":{"key":"blog\/life\/comingoutday","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2019-10-11T15:25:02+02:00","publishedAt":"2019-10-11T15:20:00+02:00","group":"nonbinary","category":"blog","subcategory":"life","slug":"comingoutday"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"comingoutday","title":"#ComingOutDay","intro":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/me-nail-polish_small.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022640\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/me-nail-polish_small.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022640\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/ComingOutDay\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E #ComingOutDay\u003C\/a\u003E, so I feel like I should tell you something...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHere it goes...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EEkhm...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u2019m queer af \ud83d\ude31\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI know, I know, but please try to contain your shock \ud83d\ude05\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/me-nail-polish_big.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022525\u0022 height=\u0022700\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/me-nail-polish_big.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022525\u0022 height=\u0022700\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/ComingOutDay\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E #ComingOutDay\u003C\/a\u003E, so I feel like I should tell you something...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHere it goes...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EEkhm...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u2019m queer af \ud83d\ude31\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI know, I know, but please try to contain your shock \ud83d\ude05\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut in all seriousness: I\u2019m so lucky and privileged that I can just say it out in the open. Most people still aren\u2019t.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen I first came out, it was scary, risky and dangerous. But I did it. It got worse, but then it got better. Being truly myself made it better.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf you\u2019re scared to come out, remember:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cul\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003Eyou don\u2019t have to if you\u2019re not ready \u2764\ufe0f\u003C\/li\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003Eyour global queer family will always be there for you \u2764\ufe0f\u003C\/li\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003Eyou\u2019re perfect the way you are  \u2764\ufe0f\u003C\/li\u003E\n\u003C\/ul\u003E\n\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/volt-debate_big.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022720\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/volt-debate_big.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022720\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhat hit me most at \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/events\/388058368527094\/\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E yesterday\u2019s debate\u003C\/a\u003E, was a story of a workshop where 12-13yo kids were totally open about their identity, but their teacher just couldn\u2019t understand \u201cthat pansexual and nonbinary nonsense\u201d \u2013 despite her being a lesbian herself.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHow come kids are better educated, more open and more self-aware than their teachers?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESimple: because now they grow up with the Internet, with all the inclusive Netflix shows, with all the celebrities coming out... Those kids will educate their parents, teachers, friends...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u2019s why your coming out is so important. It\u2019s a snowball effect. More visibility \u21d2 more acceptance \u21d2 it\u2019s easier to come out \u21d2 more people do so \u21d2 more visibility.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EInclusive society is inevitable! \u2764\ufe0f\ud83e\udde1\ud83d\udc9b\ud83d\udc9a\ud83d\udc99\ud83d\udc9c\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHappy \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/ComingOutDay\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E #ComingOutDay\u003C\/a\u003E!\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["coming out","diversity","sexuality","visibility","nonbinary"],"hasMore":true,"image":"https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/me-nail-polish_small.jpeg","introLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/me-nail-polish_big.jpeg\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/me-nail-polish_mini.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022320\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/ComingOutDay\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E #ComingOutDay\u003C\/a\u003E, so I feel like I should tell you something...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHere it goes...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EEkhm...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u2019m queer af \ud83d\ude31\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI know, I know, but please try to contain your shock \ud83d\ude05\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/me-nail-polish_big.jpeg\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/me-nail-polish_mini.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022320\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/ComingOutDay\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E #ComingOutDay\u003C\/a\u003E, so I feel like I should tell you something...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHere it goes...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EEkhm...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u2019m queer af \ud83d\ude31\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI know, I know, but please try to contain your shock \ud83d\ude05\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut in all seriousness: I\u2019m so lucky and privileged that I can just say it out in the open. Most people still aren\u2019t.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen I first came out, it was scary, risky and dangerous. But I did it. It got worse, but then it got better. Being truly myself made it better.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf you\u2019re scared to come out, remember:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cul\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003Eyou don\u2019t have to if you\u2019re not ready \u2764\ufe0f\u003C\/li\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003Eyour global queer family will always be there for you \u2764\ufe0f\u003C\/li\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003Eyou\u2019re perfect the way you are  \u2764\ufe0f\u003C\/li\u003E\n\u003C\/ul\u003E\n\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/volt-debate_big.jpeg\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/volt-debate_mini.jpeg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022180\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhat hit me most at \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/events\/388058368527094\/\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E yesterday\u2019s debate\u003C\/a\u003E, was a story of a workshop where 12-13yo kids were totally open about their identity, but their teacher just couldn\u2019t understand \u201cthat pansexual and nonbinary nonsense\u201d \u2013 despite her being a lesbian herself.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHow come kids are better educated, more open and more self-aware than their teachers?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESimple: because now they grow up with the Internet, with all the inclusive Netflix shows, with all the celebrities coming out... Those kids will educate their parents, teachers, friends...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u2019s why your coming out is so important. It\u2019s a snowball effect. More visibility \u21d2 more acceptance \u21d2 it\u2019s easier to come out \u21d2 more people do so \u21d2 more visibility.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EInclusive society is inevitable! \u2764\ufe0f\ud83e\udde1\ud83d\udc9b\ud83d\udc9a\ud83d\udc99\ud83d\udc9c\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHappy \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/ComingOutDay\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E #ComingOutDay\u003C\/a\u003E!\u003C\/p\u003E","words":241,"readTime":null,"lang":"en"}}}}}