{"tag":"queer","articles":{"blog\/life\/the-first-day-of-my-life":{"key":"blog\/life\/the-first-day-of-my-life","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2023-09-03T21:37:00+02:00","publishedAt":"2024-07-20T06:08:06+02:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"life","slug":"the-first-day-of-my-life"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"the-first-day-of-my-life","title":"The first day of my life","intro":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/album-garda_small.jpg\u0022 alt=\u0022\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf9 Sunrise at Lago di Garda\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022270\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/album-garda_small.jpg\u0022 alt=\u0022\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf9 Sunrise at Lago di Garda\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022270\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ei took this picture exactly 12 years ago, early in the morning, at lake garda in italy.\nit\u0027s a very special photo for me \u2013 it marks a day i now consider the first day of my new life \u263a\ufe0f\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/album-garda_big.jpg\u0022 alt=\u0022\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf9 Sunrise at Lago di Garda\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022540\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/album-garda_big.jpg\u0022 alt=\u0022\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf9 Sunrise at Lago di Garda\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022540\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ei took this picture exactly 12 years ago, early in the morning, at lake garda in italy.\nit\u0027s a very special photo for me \u2013 it marks a day i now consider the first day of my new life \u263a\ufe0f\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Eas a teen i used to partake in language courses in padova, italy.\nthey were organized by an order of catholic monks whose main mission is to\u2026 pray for more priests.\ni\u0027m really grateful to have had this experience. i was able to go on a vacation to a beautiful country\npractically for free \u2013 not something that my former family could afford otherwise,\nor at least not for like 6 years in a row. i\u0027ve learned a language there, spent amazing time with friends,\nhad plenty of valuable new experiences, got crazy, learned to be a bit of bad boy too.\ni\u0027ve learned so much about myself over there\u2026 padova trips have always been time for reflection and self-discovery,\na break from reality, with a mysthical atmosphere (at least in my head), perfect for prayer and soul-searching.\ni\u0027ve spent hours upon hours in the chapel or on a windowsill in a quiet part of the building,\ncontemplating my life, ethical dilemmas,\ntrying to reconcile my sexuality with my faith, my faith with my reason\u2026\nlearning how to be a person.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ebut those trips weren\u0027t being organised purely out of the priests\u0027 good hearts, of course.\nconsidering that their main mission is to get god to send them more priests,\nan implicit goal of those courses was to recruit us to join a seminary. oh well, mission failed successfully\n\u2013 i really did find my true calling there, but it wasn\u0027t what they\u0027d like \ud83d\ude05\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ethe last year i was there felt different than all the rest. least of all because it was happening in a different city, desenzano de garda.\nmy life had already gotten so much different at that point. i was 19, finally legally an adult.\ni have passed my high school exams (which are, nomen omen, called \u201cmatura\u201d in polish \u2013 \u201cthe maturity exam\u201d), started uni,\ni was seriously doubting my faith and openly questioning it during catechism classes at school (yes, it\u0027s a thing in poland)\nand in conversations with priests etc. i came out to myself as queer; then to a few closest friends.\ni started dating. i gained my first sexual experience (i refuse to call it \u201closing my virginity\u201d \ud83e\udd2e).\nall of that a span of last year or so.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ejust a few weeks before desenzano i also went to regional catholic youth days \u2013 not just as a participant,\nbut also as a \u201ccamp counselor\u201d \/ \u201cguardian\u201d for a bunch of teens from my parish.\ni remember taking advantage of the perks and freedom that came with it, by cutting myself some slack in my ongoing cosplay as a christian \u2013\ni was skipping most church services, and instead was hanging out with my friends \/ wards, and playing guitar together\u2026\nmy gay friend lived in a village near where the youth days were taking place \u2013 so one day he came to meet me,\nand we were openly cuddling in front of a park full of nuns and catholic teens.\nthis was one of my first, relatively subtle coming outs, as well as acts of rebellion against the church,\nthe homophobic society and the patriarchy.\ni remember it feeling so freeing, so empowering.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ei remember wearing very faggy, green skinny jeans over there. i was just starting to develop my style\u2026\nnah, not just that, but i started to even \u003Cem\u003Ecare\u003C\/em\u003E how i look and what i wear in the first place.\nwhen i look back my old photos, ugh\u2026 no wonder i was so unfuckable in high school,\ni wouldn\u0027t invite that old me to a party either \ud83d\ude05\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Eanyways\u2026 back to desenzano. it was different than the previous years in padova. after years of personal arguments\nbetween organisers, us teenagers behaving terribly, and a bunch of other drama, we weren\u0027t welcome in padova anymore.\nbut in desenzano i didn\u0027t \u003Cem\u003Efeel\u003C\/em\u003E welcome either. or at least i didn\u0027t feel like i belonged.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ei barely even remember that trip to be honest. a few random memories. only one of them in the local chapel.\ni remember that even though i was there for the services, i didn\u0027t pray anymore\u2026 like, i recited prayers, sure, but that\u0027s different.\nit\u0027s my first clear memory of not believing, just performing faith.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ei definitely have been doing that for a while at that point \u2013 but that the first moment i can pinpoint in time and space.\nit\u0027s the first moment when i could not only say that i\u0027m gay and an atheist, but also that i \u003Cem\u003Eknow\u003C\/em\u003E that,\nthat i\u0027m \u003Cem\u003Esure\u003C\/em\u003E of that. i knew i was already a different person by then, i knew that the thing i was doing right now\nwas something that i\u0027m leaving behind.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ei think there was talk that the course wouldn\u0027t continue next year, i\u0027m not sure.\nbut i definitely knew that it was a goodbye for me. from the trips, from italy, from the church,\nfrom my community and from my former family.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ealthough there are so many things about them all that i\u0027m gonna miss terribly, on that day i wasn\u0027t feeling sad.\ni don\u0027t remember anymore what kind of stupid interpersonal drama was playing out there,\nbut even though i was a queer heretic coming back to live with their fundamentalist parents,\ni was feeling kinda happy to leave that place. bittersweet. mostly, i was relieved.\ni didn\u0027t fit in with that community anymore, and i was at peace with that and the decision to leave it behind over time.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Eover the next year and a bit i would come out to my parents, get outed by them to the rest of the family,\nfinally stopped going to church, met my future husband, moved out, and started my life as an independent adult.\nit\u0027s been a long and painful process.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ebut also a beautiful one \u2013 because it was the process of\u2026 becoming me.\ni realised \u003Cem\u003Ei don\u0027t have to\u003C\/em\u003E be a miserable, unhappy clone of my parents.\nthere is a \u201cme\u201d out there that i \u003Cem\u003Ewant to\u003C\/em\u003E and \u003Cem\u003Ecan\u003C\/em\u003E be.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Eso if i am to celebrate that process somehow, i can think of no better moment to mark the occasion\nthan in that beautiful sunset, over that beautiful lake, early on that refreshingly warm morning.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["faith","atheism","coming out","queer","new life","rebirth","celebration"],"hasMore":true,"image":"https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/album-garda_small.jpg","introLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/album-garda_big.jpg\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/album-garda_mini.jpg\u0022 alt=\u0022\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf9 Sunrise at Lago di Garda\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022135\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ei took this picture exactly 12 years ago, early in the morning, at lake garda in italy.\nit\u0027s a very special photo for me \u2013 it marks a day i now consider the first day of my new life \u263a\ufe0f\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/album-garda_big.jpg\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/album-garda_mini.jpg\u0022 alt=\u0022\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf9 Sunrise at Lago di Garda\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022135\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ei took this picture exactly 12 years ago, early in the morning, at lake garda in italy.\nit\u0027s a very special photo for me \u2013 it marks a day i now consider the first day of my new life \u263a\ufe0f\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Eas a teen i used to partake in language courses in padova, italy.\nthey were organized by an order of catholic monks whose main mission is to\u2026 pray for more priests.\ni\u0027m really grateful to have had this experience. i was able to go on a vacation to a beautiful country\npractically for free \u2013 not something that my former family could afford otherwise,\nor at least not for like 6 years in a row. i\u0027ve learned a language there, spent amazing time with friends,\nhad plenty of valuable new experiences, got crazy, learned to be a bit of bad boy too.\ni\u0027ve learned so much about myself over there\u2026 padova trips have always been time for reflection and self-discovery,\na break from reality, with a mysthical atmosphere (at least in my head), perfect for prayer and soul-searching.\ni\u0027ve spent hours upon hours in the chapel or on a windowsill in a quiet part of the building,\ncontemplating my life, ethical dilemmas,\ntrying to reconcile my sexuality with my faith, my faith with my reason\u2026\nlearning how to be a person.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ebut those trips weren\u0027t being organised purely out of the priests\u0027 good hearts, of course.\nconsidering that their main mission is to get god to send them more priests,\nan implicit goal of those courses was to recruit us to join a seminary. oh well, mission failed successfully\n\u2013 i really did find my true calling there, but it wasn\u0027t what they\u0027d like \ud83d\ude05\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ethe last year i was there felt different than all the rest. least of all because it was happening in a different city, desenzano de garda.\nmy life had already gotten so much different at that point. i was 19, finally legally an adult.\ni have passed my high school exams (which are, nomen omen, called \u201cmatura\u201d in polish \u2013 \u201cthe maturity exam\u201d), started uni,\ni was seriously doubting my faith and openly questioning it during catechism classes at school (yes, it\u0027s a thing in poland)\nand in conversations with priests etc. i came out to myself as queer; then to a few closest friends.\ni started dating. i gained my first sexual experience (i refuse to call it \u201closing my virginity\u201d \ud83e\udd2e).\nall of that a span of last year or so.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ejust a few weeks before desenzano i also went to regional catholic youth days \u2013 not just as a participant,\nbut also as a \u201ccamp counselor\u201d \/ \u201cguardian\u201d for a bunch of teens from my parish.\ni remember taking advantage of the perks and freedom that came with it, by cutting myself some slack in my ongoing cosplay as a christian \u2013\ni was skipping most church services, and instead was hanging out with my friends \/ wards, and playing guitar together\u2026\nmy gay friend lived in a village near where the youth days were taking place \u2013 so one day he came to meet me,\nand we were openly cuddling in front of a park full of nuns and catholic teens.\nthis was one of my first, relatively subtle coming outs, as well as acts of rebellion against the church,\nthe homophobic society and the patriarchy.\ni remember it feeling so freeing, so empowering.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ei remember wearing very faggy, green skinny jeans over there. i was just starting to develop my style\u2026\nnah, not just that, but i started to even \u003Cem\u003Ecare\u003C\/em\u003E how i look and what i wear in the first place.\nwhen i look back my old photos, ugh\u2026 no wonder i was so unfuckable in high school,\ni wouldn\u0027t invite that old me to a party either \ud83d\ude05\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Eanyways\u2026 back to desenzano. it was different than the previous years in padova. after years of personal arguments\nbetween organisers, us teenagers behaving terribly, and a bunch of other drama, we weren\u0027t welcome in padova anymore.\nbut in desenzano i didn\u0027t \u003Cem\u003Efeel\u003C\/em\u003E welcome either. or at least i didn\u0027t feel like i belonged.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ei barely even remember that trip to be honest. a few random memories. only one of them in the local chapel.\ni remember that even though i was there for the services, i didn\u0027t pray anymore\u2026 like, i recited prayers, sure, but that\u0027s different.\nit\u0027s my first clear memory of not believing, just performing faith.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ei definitely have been doing that for a while at that point \u2013 but that the first moment i can pinpoint in time and space.\nit\u0027s the first moment when i could not only say that i\u0027m gay and an atheist, but also that i \u003Cem\u003Eknow\u003C\/em\u003E that,\nthat i\u0027m \u003Cem\u003Esure\u003C\/em\u003E of that. i knew i was already a different person by then, i knew that the thing i was doing right now\nwas something that i\u0027m leaving behind.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ei think there was talk that the course wouldn\u0027t continue next year, i\u0027m not sure.\nbut i definitely knew that it was a goodbye for me. from the trips, from italy, from the church,\nfrom my community and from my former family.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ealthough there are so many things about them all that i\u0027m gonna miss terribly, on that day i wasn\u0027t feeling sad.\ni don\u0027t remember anymore what kind of stupid interpersonal drama was playing out there,\nbut even though i was a queer heretic coming back to live with their fundamentalist parents,\ni was feeling kinda happy to leave that place. bittersweet. mostly, i was relieved.\ni didn\u0027t fit in with that community anymore, and i was at peace with that and the decision to leave it behind over time.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Eover the next year and a bit i would come out to my parents, get outed by them to the rest of the family,\nfinally stopped going to church, met my future husband, moved out, and started my life as an independent adult.\nit\u0027s been a long and painful process.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Ebut also a beautiful one \u2013 because it was the process of\u2026 becoming me.\ni realised \u003Cem\u003Ei don\u0027t have to\u003C\/em\u003E be a miserable, unhappy clone of my parents.\nthere is a \u201cme\u201d out there that i \u003Cem\u003Ewant to\u003C\/em\u003E and \u003Cem\u003Ecan\u003C\/em\u003E be.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003Eso if i am to celebrate that process somehow, i can think of no better moment to mark the occasion\nthan in that beautiful sunset, over that beautiful lake, early on that refreshingly warm morning.\u003C\/p\u003E","words":1065,"readTime":5,"lang":"en"}}},"projects\/opinionated-queer-license":{"key":"projects\/opinionated-queer-license","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2021-09-13T18:39:26+02:00","publishedAt":"2021-09-13T18:39:26+02:00","group":null,"links":[{"icon":"gavel","colour":"primary","url":"https:\/\/oql.avris.it","displayUrl":null}],"category":"projects","subcategory":null,"slug":"opinionated-queer-license"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"opinionated-queer-license","title":"Opinionated Queer License","intro":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/oql_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022230.35072711719\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/oql_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022230.35072711719\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI create lots of things, mostly software, and I put them on the Internet for free.\nAs an author I have the right to decide under which conditions do I waive my copyrights.\nCommon practice is to just pick one of the permissive licenses,\nmany of which aim to maximise the user\u0027s freedom\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut I don\u0027t care.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/oql_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022460.70145423439\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/oql_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022460.70145423439\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI create lots of things, mostly software, and I put them on the Internet for free.\nAs an author I have the right to decide under which conditions do I waive my copyrights.\nCommon practice is to just pick one of the permissive licenses,\nmany of which aim to maximise the user\u0027s freedom\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut I don\u0027t care.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe whole point of me giving away stuff for free is to make the world a slightly better place \u2013\nso if someone wants to use them for evil, then screw their freedom.\nI\u0027m queer, I\u0027m a member of minoritised communities \u2013 and I can\u0027t just blindly worship \u201cfreedom\u201d\nin a world where so many use their freedom to actively hurt the most vulnerable.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI don\u0027t want my work to be \u003Cem\u003Efreely\u003C\/em\u003E used \u2013 I want it used \u003Cem\u003Efor good\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo, my license prohibits any use by big corporations, cops, military, or use in a bigoted or violent way.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYou\u0027re free to use it too, just keep in mind that I am not a lawyer.\nThis license is inspired by and based on\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/leftcopy.org\/\u0022\u003ELeftcopy\u003C\/a\u003E,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/thesocialdomain.org\/\u0022\u003EThe Social Domain\u003C\/a\u003E,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/firstdonoharm.dev\/\u0022\u003EThe Hippocratic License\u003C\/a\u003E,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/github.com\/jgrey4296\/acab\/blob\/main\/LICENSE\u0022\u003EACAB License\u003C\/a\u003E,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/paste.sr.ht\/~boringcactus\/ed023ccf9d7a5559612d6e60f0474d6c3375349d\u0022\u003Ethe fuck around and find out license\u003C\/a\u003E,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/anticapitalist.software\/\u0022\u003EThe Anti-Capitalist Software License\u003C\/a\u003E,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/4.0\/deed.en\u0022\u003ECC-BY-NC-SA\u003C\/a\u003E,\nand \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/github.com\/jamiebuilds\/license\u0022\u003EJamie Kyle\u0027s MIT License\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["license","queer","human rights","bigotry","copyright","anticapitalism","acab"],"hasMore":true,"image":"https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/oql_small.png","introLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/oql_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/oql_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022115.1753635586\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI create lots of things, mostly software, and I put them on the Internet for free.\nAs an author I have the right to decide under which conditions do I waive my copyrights.\nCommon practice is to just pick one of the permissive licenses,\nmany of which aim to maximise the user\u0027s freedom\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut I don\u0027t care.\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/oql_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/oql_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022115.1753635586\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI create lots of things, mostly software, and I put them on the Internet for free.\nAs an author I have the right to decide under which conditions do I waive my copyrights.\nCommon practice is to just pick one of the permissive licenses,\nmany of which aim to maximise the user\u0027s freedom\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut I don\u0027t care.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe whole point of me giving away stuff for free is to make the world a slightly better place \u2013\nso if someone wants to use them for evil, then screw their freedom.\nI\u0027m queer, I\u0027m a member of minoritised communities \u2013 and I can\u0027t just blindly worship \u201cfreedom\u201d\nin a world where so many use their freedom to actively hurt the most vulnerable.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI don\u0027t want my work to be \u003Cem\u003Efreely\u003C\/em\u003E used \u2013 I want it used \u003Cem\u003Efor good\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo, my license prohibits any use by big corporations, cops, military, or use in a bigoted or violent way.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYou\u0027re free to use it too, just keep in mind that I am not a lawyer.\nThis license is inspired by and based on\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/leftcopy.org\/\u0022\u003ELeftcopy\u003C\/a\u003E,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/thesocialdomain.org\/\u0022\u003EThe Social Domain\u003C\/a\u003E,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/firstdonoharm.dev\/\u0022\u003EThe Hippocratic License\u003C\/a\u003E,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/github.com\/jgrey4296\/acab\/blob\/main\/LICENSE\u0022\u003EACAB License\u003C\/a\u003E,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/paste.sr.ht\/~boringcactus\/ed023ccf9d7a5559612d6e60f0474d6c3375349d\u0022\u003Ethe fuck around and find out license\u003C\/a\u003E,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/anticapitalist.software\/\u0022\u003EThe Anti-Capitalist Software License\u003C\/a\u003E,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/4.0\/deed.en\u0022\u003ECC-BY-NC-SA\u003C\/a\u003E,\nand \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/github.com\/jamiebuilds\/license\u0022\u003EJamie Kyle\u0027s MIT License\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E","words":203,"readTime":null,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/society\/slurs":{"key":"blog\/society\/slurs","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2021-06-08T10:14:54+02:00","publishedAt":"2021-06-08T10:14:54+02:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"society","slug":"slurs"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"slurs","title":"Slurs","intro":"\u003Cp\u003ESlurs are derogatory terms weaponised by the oppressor to attack the oppressed.\nNot the other way around.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cp\u003ESlurs are derogatory terms weaponised by the oppressor to attack the oppressed.\nNot the other way around.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESlurs are verbal violence against people\u0027s identity and immutable characteristics.\nThey\u0027re not just \u201cmean words\u201d. Not every word you don\u0027t like is automatically a slur.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESlurs attack a \u003Cem\u003Eperson\u003C\/em\u003E. That mean word you\u0027re crying about on twitter\nmerely (and rightly so) attacked your \u003Cem\u003Eviews\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EA minoritised community calling you racist, homophobic, terf or whatever\nisn\u0027t \u201coppressing you\u201d. They\u0027re \u003Cem\u003Ecalling you out\u003C\/em\u003E.\nThey aren\u0027t \u201chating you\u201d, they\u0027re \u003Cem\u003Eshaming\u003C\/em\u003E you.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EShaming you into changing your hateful views. Cause you can do that.\nYou can simply stop being an asshole towards trans people, queer people, people of colour,\nor whichever other minoritised group you\u0027ve decided to bash today.\nNothing bad is gonna happen to you if you just start being a decent human being.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo no, TERF is not a slur. It\u0027s an accurate description of your disgusting, hurtful, hateful views.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EStop \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Victim_playing\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E playing a victim\u003C\/a\u003E, you bigoted asshole.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["discrimination","oppression","minoritised","queer","trans","terf","racist","slur","victim playing","self-victimization"],"hasMore":true,"image":null,"introLite":"\u003Cp\u003ESlurs are derogatory terms weaponised by the oppressor to attack the oppressed.\nNot the other way around.\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cp\u003ESlurs are derogatory terms weaponised by the oppressor to attack the oppressed.\nNot the other way around.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESlurs are verbal violence against people\u0027s identity and immutable characteristics.\nThey\u0027re not just \u201cmean words\u201d. Not every word you don\u0027t like is automatically a slur.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESlurs attack a \u003Cem\u003Eperson\u003C\/em\u003E. That mean word you\u0027re crying about on twitter\nmerely (and rightly so) attacked your \u003Cem\u003Eviews\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EA minoritised community calling you racist, homophobic, terf or whatever\nisn\u0027t \u201coppressing you\u201d. They\u0027re \u003Cem\u003Ecalling you out\u003C\/em\u003E.\nThey aren\u0027t \u201chating you\u201d, they\u0027re \u003Cem\u003Eshaming\u003C\/em\u003E you.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EShaming you into changing your hateful views. Cause you can do that.\nYou can simply stop being an asshole towards trans people, queer people, people of colour,\nor whichever other minoritised group you\u0027ve decided to bash today.\nNothing bad is gonna happen to you if you just start being a decent human being.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo no, TERF is not a slur. It\u0027s an accurate description of your disgusting, hurtful, hateful views.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EStop \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Victim_playing\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E playing a victim\u003C\/a\u003E, you bigoted asshole.\u003C\/p\u003E","words":162,"readTime":null,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/life\/how-did-i-not-know-i-m-pansexual-panromantic":{"key":"blog\/life\/how-did-i-not-know-i-m-pansexual-panromantic","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2021-01-17T12:51:29+01:00","publishedAt":"2021-01-17T12:51:29+01:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"life","slug":"how-did-i-not-know-i-m-pansexual-panromantic"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"how-did-i-not-know-i-m-pan","title":"How did I not know I\u0027m pansexual \u0026 panromantic?","intro":"\u003Cp\u003ESometimes it takes people a long time to figure out their gender and sexuality (and it\u0027s perfectly okay!)\nI was 27 when \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/coming-out-as-not-so-gay\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-heartbeat\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E I came out as pansexual\u003C\/a\u003E, and honestly it\u0027s not even that late.\nStill, it makes me feel sad about all time \u201cwasted\u201d not knowing who I am and being confused AF.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo today I\u0027d like to take a moment to rant about three of the awful things that contributed to that.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cp\u003ESometimes it takes people a long time to figure out their gender and sexuality (and it\u0027s perfectly okay!)\nI was 27 when \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/coming-out-as-not-so-gay\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-heartbeat\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E I came out as pansexual\u003C\/a\u003E, and honestly it\u0027s not even that late.\nStill, it makes me feel sad about all time \u201cwasted\u201d not knowing who I am and being confused AF.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo today I\u0027d like to take a moment to rant about three of the awful things that contributed to that.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EPatriarchy and heteronormativity\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIn pretty much every movie, book or TV series the heteronormative relationships look the same.\nThe girls is supposed to be submissive, delicate, while the guy is dominant and strong.\nHe\u0027s supposed to fight for her, impress her, ask her out, pay for her.\nShe\u0027s supposed to play hard to get, innocent\u2026\nHe makes money, she\u0027s a hausfrau.\nRoles are clearly defined and very asymmetrical.\nMost love stories don\u0027t look like love, but rather a conquest.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESeeing same-sex relationships was so fucking refreshing for me!\nNo stupid schemas, expectations, rectum-derived rules!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u0027s why straight people keep asking gays the iditoic question\n\u201cwho\u0027s the man and who\u0027s the woman in your relationship?\u201d.\nThey get that a guy might like men instead of women, but still cannot comprehend\nany other model of the relationship than what popular culture taught them.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd I did the opposite \u2013 I knew I don\u0027t want a patriarchal relationship,\nI just didn\u0027t realise I \u003Cem\u003Ecan\u003C\/em\u003E have that with a woman.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EMainstream porn\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003C!--\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/reality-kings_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022A screenshot of a porn scene from \u201cReality Kings\u201d studio\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022720\u0022 height=\u0022404\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/reality-kings_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022A screenshot of a porn scene from \u201cReality Kings\u201d studio\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022720\u0022 height=\u0022404\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/JFilmsxxx\/status\/1300307152783974400\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\n                        \u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E\n                        twitter.com\/JFilmsxxx\/status\/1300307152783974400\n                    \u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\n            \u003C\/figure\u003E--\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAs hard as it might be to believe,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/JFilmsxxx\/status\/1300307152783974400\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E this outrageously unrealistic porn scene\u003C\/a\u003E\n\u003Cspan class=\u0022badge badge-warning\u0022\u003ECW: porn\u003C\/span\u003E\nhas been released by a studio called \u201cReality Kings\u201d. How ironic!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThose boobs are fake. Those lips are fake. This voice is fake.\nThe plot is unrealistic. Getting a blowjob while still hanging from a basketball loop\nis probably not comfortable enough for people to actually do in real life.\nAnd don\u0027t even get me started on his dick springing out rock hard right away\nwith no mental or physical stimulation whatsoever.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd that\u0027s not an exception, the fakeness pretty much a common theme.\nThe strong makeup that\u0027s supposed to start dripping with her tears when she gets face-fucked by a colossal dick.\nThe almost absolute lack of interest in the girl\u0027s pleasure\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf that\u0027s what straight sex is like, I don\u0027t want it.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EExcept porn lied to me! Sex isn\u0027t like that.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EMonogamy\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWell, not monogamy \u003Cem\u003Eper se\u003C\/em\u003E, but forcing it as the default, or even the only, option.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen everyone in your life tells you you\u0027re supposed to find \u201cthe one and only\u201d and \u201ctill death tears us apart\u201d,\nit\u0027s easy to fall into the trap of feeling forced to choose.\nNot just the \u003Cem\u003Eperson\u003C\/em\u003E to spend your whole life with, but the entire \u003Cem\u003Egender\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EFinding out that it\u0027s possible (and awesome!) to love more than one person at the same time\nhas also opened my eyes to endless other possibilities.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ESumming up\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThere\u0027s way more, but those three things in particular I\u0027m very angry about.\nThe world keeps lying to us about how to be happy. It shows us just one possible way:\na patriarchal, monogamous relationship. Or, yeah, whatever those gays are doing.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut turns out that queerness is vastly more colourful than any of that!\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["sexuality","gender","sexual orientation","romantic orientation","patriarchy","porn","monogamy","polyamory","queer"],"hasMore":true,"image":null,"introLite":"\u003Cp\u003ESometimes it takes people a long time to figure out their gender and sexuality (and it\u0027s perfectly okay!)\nI was 27 when \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/coming-out-as-not-so-gay.lite\u0022\u003E I came out as pansexual\u003C\/a\u003E, and honestly it\u0027s not even that late.\nStill, it makes me feel sad about all time \u201cwasted\u201d not knowing who I am and being confused AF.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo today I\u0027d like to take a moment to rant about three of the awful things that contributed to that.\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cp\u003ESometimes it takes people a long time to figure out their gender and sexuality (and it\u0027s perfectly okay!)\nI was 27 when \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/coming-out-as-not-so-gay.lite\u0022\u003E I came out as pansexual\u003C\/a\u003E, and honestly it\u0027s not even that late.\nStill, it makes me feel sad about all time \u201cwasted\u201d not knowing who I am and being confused AF.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo today I\u0027d like to take a moment to rant about three of the awful things that contributed to that.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EPatriarchy and heteronormativity\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIn pretty much every movie, book or TV series the heteronormative relationships look the same.\nThe girls is supposed to be submissive, delicate, while the guy is dominant and strong.\nHe\u0027s supposed to fight for her, impress her, ask her out, pay for her.\nShe\u0027s supposed to play hard to get, innocent\u2026\nHe makes money, she\u0027s a hausfrau.\nRoles are clearly defined and very asymmetrical.\nMost love stories don\u0027t look like love, but rather a conquest.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESeeing same-sex relationships was so fucking refreshing for me!\nNo stupid schemas, expectations, rectum-derived rules!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u0027s why straight people keep asking gays the iditoic question\n\u201cwho\u0027s the man and who\u0027s the woman in your relationship?\u201d.\nThey get that a guy might like men instead of women, but still cannot comprehend\nany other model of the relationship than what popular culture taught them.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd I did the opposite \u2013 I knew I don\u0027t want a patriarchal relationship,\nI just didn\u0027t realise I \u003Cem\u003Ecan\u003C\/em\u003E have that with a woman.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EMainstream porn\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003C!--\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/reality-kings_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/reality-kings_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022A screenshot of a porn scene from \u201cReality Kings\u201d studio\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022134.66666666667\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/JFilmsxxx\/status\/1300307152783974400\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csmall\u003Etwitter.com\/JFilmsxxx\/status\/1300307152783974400\u003C\/small\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E--\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAs hard as it might be to believe,\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/JFilmsxxx\/status\/1300307152783974400\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E this outrageously unrealistic porn scene\u003C\/a\u003E\n\u003Cspan class=\u0022badge badge-warning\u0022\u003ECW: porn\u003C\/span\u003E\nhas been released by a studio called \u201cReality Kings\u201d. How ironic!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThose boobs are fake. Those lips are fake. This voice is fake.\nThe plot is unrealistic. Getting a blowjob while still hanging from a basketball loop\nis probably not comfortable enough for people to actually do in real life.\nAnd don\u0027t even get me started on his dick springing out rock hard right away\nwith no mental or physical stimulation whatsoever.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd that\u0027s not an exception, the fakeness pretty much a common theme.\nThe strong makeup that\u0027s supposed to start dripping with her tears when she gets face-fucked by a colossal dick.\nThe almost absolute lack of interest in the girl\u0027s pleasure\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf that\u0027s what straight sex is like, I don\u0027t want it.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EExcept porn lied to me! Sex isn\u0027t like that.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EMonogamy\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWell, not monogamy \u003Cem\u003Eper se\u003C\/em\u003E, but forcing it as the default, or even the only, option.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen everyone in your life tells you you\u0027re supposed to find \u201cthe one and only\u201d and \u201ctill death tears us apart\u201d,\nit\u0027s easy to fall into the trap of feeling forced to choose.\nNot just the \u003Cem\u003Eperson\u003C\/em\u003E to spend your whole life with, but the entire \u003Cem\u003Egender\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EFinding out that it\u0027s possible (and awesome!) to love more than one person at the same time\nhas also opened my eyes to endless other possibilities.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ESumming up\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThere\u0027s way more, but those three things in particular I\u0027m very angry about.\nThe world keeps lying to us about how to be happy. It shows us just one possible way:\na patriarchal, monogamous relationship. Or, yeah, whatever those gays are doing.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut turns out that queerness is vastly more colourful than any of that!\u003C\/p\u003E","words":534,"readTime":3,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/society\/queers-typics":{"key":"blog\/society\/queers-typics","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2020-11-02T16:30:44+01:00","publishedAt":"2020-11-02T16:30:44+01:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"society","slug":"queers-typics"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"queer-typic","title":"Queer \u0026 typic","intro":"\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027m on a quest. A quest to find two words:\none to describe gender, sexual and romantic minorities,\nand one to describe the rest.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI know, the title gives away the result,\nbut please bear with me while I explain how I got there \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027m on a quest. A quest to find two words:\none to describe gender, sexual and romantic minorities,\nand one to describe the rest.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI know, the title gives away the result,\nbut please bear with me while I explain how I got there \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EWhy not LGBTQ+?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBecause we can\u0027t seem to agree which letters to include there.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYes, we can say \u201cLGBTTQQIAAP\u201d, but it\u0027s hard to remember, hard to pronounce,\nand despite listing so many letters we \u003Cem\u003Estill\u003C\/em\u003E leave some people out.\nSome people add \u201cU\u201d, \u201cC\u201d, \u201cTS\u201d\/\u201c2S\u201d\/\u201c2\u201d, \u201cP\u201d, \u201cSA\u201d, \u201cD\u201d, \u201cH\u201d, \u201cO\u201d\n\u2013 do you know what all of them stand for without \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/lgbta.wikia.org\/wiki\/LGBT%2B\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E checking the source\u003C\/a\u003E?\nWe can hide \u201cothers\u201d under a plus, but then we might ask, for instance, why do gays deserve a letter, but demisexuals don\u0027t?\nTransphobes are fighting to \u201cdrop the T\u201d.\n\u201cA\u201d stands for many groups (asexual, aromantic, agender) and some even include allocishet allies there \ud83d\ude44\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s a mess, isn\u0027t it?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe search for an LGBT-like acronym is focused on \u003Cem\u003Elisting\u003C\/em\u003E all the possible subgroubs.\nWhat if instead we found something that \u003Cem\u003Edescribes\u003C\/em\u003E who we are?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EWhat instead of LGBTQ+?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut who \u003Cem\u003Eare\u003C\/em\u003E we? What makes us distinct?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWe are gender, sexual and romantic minorities.\nThat description includes everyone that is minoritised because of those reasons. Simple.\nDoesn\u0027t matter if you\u0027re discriminated because of \u003Cem\u003Eyour own\u003C\/em\u003E gender,\nor the gender of \u003Cem\u003Epeople you love\u003C\/em\u003E or sleep with, or the \u003Cem\u003Eway\u003C\/em\u003E you show that affection\u2026\nYou\u0027re in.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd, luckily, it\u0027s already an acronym: \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.urbandictionary.com\/define.php?term=GSRM\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E \u003Cstrong\u003EGSRM\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESadly, it\u0027s barely known. And not too easy to pronounce eitheer. And it\u0027s anothor acronym, not a word.\nFor me, it feels strange put in sentences. And it will look totally different when translated into other languages.\nFor instance in Polish it would be \u201cMPSR\u201d \u2013 hard to see resemblance, right?\nI still can\u0027t get used to the Dutch translating \u201cLGBT\u201d as \u201cLHBT\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDo we have a \u003Cem\u003Eword\u003C\/em\u003E that would convey a similar meaning as GSRM, while being friendlier?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYup! It\u0027s \u003Cstrong\u003Equeer\u003C\/strong\u003E. We reclaimed that slur for a reason \u2013 so let\u0027s use it more!\nEven \u201cgay\u201d was used as a slur by a lot of people.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt describes us well. We\u0027re the \u201cstrange ones\u201d, but in a good way.\nWe\u0027re the ones that don\u0027t fit in in the patriarchal, cishetnormative society and its rules.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-queer-1_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@stratumgermani1 on Twitter: Everything the \u201cQ-slur\u201d crowd says about why we shouldn\u2019t use the word \u201cqueer\u201d can also be said about \u201cgay\u201d. Gay is just as much a slur as queer is. It has the same history of abuse. Moreso, for this generation, because they\u2019ll have ACTUALLY heard people use it as a slur.\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022643.72712146423\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACQAAAAYCAYAAACSuF9OAAAACXBIWXMAAA7EAAAOxAGVKw4bAAAFOklEQVRIid2W2W4kWRGGv1wq98qsJatc3trt7QIGxNwg1Ncg3orX4B0QvASbB4EADY0aPOOq7uluu1xruvZcz+Gi7MJ2e0CMkBoRUpR0ok5E\/Io\/4kQqRSFknqfMhl2C5i6apvOxRErQAT77yx\/wvvw9ze+\/QJp7XF11ieOYoihohCFpljEej1FVDVVVKZc9hsMRW80Gw9EI13VRVRXbsvj00+\/9BwAkiqIgpWQUTahVgjUgBksGUc6Bf4BQbYJag23bIssL0jTDDQyq4Ra6phHWAhzb2gRSFOVrk\/y7O\/clrFUQQqIUhZAiTrgZ9XHqdWzb+Ubl\/m\/IhrJeNKbe2EJR4Pq6h+u66LpOnmcIIbAsi3fvL2m1tijyHNu2mUym+H4ZISSlks5iscSyTBRFQVEUFoslpmlSKumsViuklFiWhaKoCFFgmibAg0pJeVuh35ydMZ1OsUxrc+HOqRCCrWYTXddI04xut0uW5\/z4Rz\/kl7\/69S24CWEYMhgMSZKEw+cHXHQ6hPU6SZKys7PN27fvME2T7dYWb756y4sXP6BaqTygdUPZ38\/PsS0L27G5fH+FH5QxDZOSUaIoCiaTKY5j47kuy9WKPC8ASVEIXMchzVKKvMAPfNIkRdM1ZtMZhmEgkSgo2I5NlmaMo4jtVotev0+9ViPNUp7t7z+kLE1TFEVhOpuBArZlI6Sg1+sjhKBWq3JzM0HTNCaTKaqqstVs0r2+JooipJScHB8hhKTX77PdajGOIkqlEpUgILq5oSqqjIYjDNNgMBiQJAnjKMK27Q0rUkrUNY8QRdE6ebXK6zdfMZlMEUJgWxbz+QLXdXn37j2OYzOfzxmNR8RxTOD7NBoN2p3XTKZT4jgmL3Icx2E2m7OKb\/vHNEFZJ42ThCRJmUwm7O3uIKXc9JEOEAQBnuvhlT1Kegld15GAaRhkebamw\/cp6TqVSkDZKxMnMWEYUuQFmq6h69r6TknHtmxSJ6VaqeC6LkmS4Dg2J8fH5HlOmqU4tk2SpOi6vqnOBtDnn78kSRK8sketWuXy8gqJpF6rUa1WOT\/\/gp2dbfr9Aa7rsFyueP78gLOz39FsNhiNxhiGwfHRIRftDqenJ7x8+VdOT0\/ovH5D4PssFgvyIkfTNBzb4TuffJu9vd2npyxJ4gdjKIQgjte2NE1ZLld4nothGAghSJKExXJJnuV4ZW\/zFMzmczzPwzQM7npzOpsR1utIuT6bpoGUsFotsSxrzcbjKfvZz3+BY9uoqkohCuJVzP7+3rqPpCCs1xFCcHl1haqoHBw8Y7Vasb+\/z0W7TRRFnB6foGoqi8WCy8srdF0nDEPanQ7VSoX5fI6qqhwfH3HV7VKtVPB9n1ev\/sbR0SHHR4fU6+EaUK\/Xw3EcXNfZcHonQghUVf3Gr++d\/1NxHq8QIW6nrN3p8Mc\/\/RkhxIOOl1Jugjy2P7Z93X93Ce+Deex3\/6wUhZCP9txHk83D+L7bJ88L4iRlu1mnNxhTCcpMpnMC32UUTalVfcxSid4woqRrGEYJXdOYL5ZomoZpGuy2GveCf7jRPwQgn54yFODD6n8U0QGUzc\/HlQ1l5+dfcNHu8K1PvouQclPK08N9fnv2GX5QxbQdpJBUKmWmswVCCJ7ttui020ymU5rNLQqpEvgerWb9\/4ey9XJlvWALUZBlGYrCA0WR5PJDu6KAmC2etoviSfu\/0n8Cuv3KW65i5svV5nynveWQV9EF9+\/elfrNT36KWDzhMxizeCLWnY5efUk0vOHyuv8gnpIXhVT+FzoakEj+AWFr8Cjjs7AWAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-queer-1_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@stratumgermani1 on Twitter: Everything the \u201cQ-slur\u201d crowd says about why we shouldn\u2019t use the word \u201cqueer\u201d can also be said about \u201cgay\u201d. Gay is just as much a slur as queer is. It has the same history of abuse. Moreso, for this generation, because they\u2019ll have ACTUALLY heard people use it as a slur.\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022643.72712146423\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/stratumgermani1\/status\/1341372052859662340\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\n                        \u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E\n                        twitter.com\/stratumgermani1\/status\/1341372052859662340\n                    \u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-queer-2_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@hanpersands on Twitter: queer is an inclusive, reclaimed umbrella term for marginalised sexualities \u0026 genders that allows us to find community with each other without drawing lines in the sand between us, and we should absolutely be suspicious of any person, group, or entity that wants to suppress that\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022693.06532663317\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-queer-2_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@hanpersands on Twitter: queer is an inclusive, reclaimed umbrella term for marginalised sexualities \u0026 genders that allows us to find community with each other without drawing lines in the sand between us, and we should absolutely be suspicious of any person, group, or entity that wants to suppress that\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022693.06532663317\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/hanpersands\/status\/1345108175133949952\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\n                        \u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E\n                        twitter.com\/hanpersands\/status\/1345108175133949952\n                    \u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EHow to call non-queers?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMany people simply say \u201cstraight\u201d when they mean non-queer people\n\u2013 but that obviously excludes straight trans people from the queer community.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u0027s why many people say \u201ccishet\u201d to account for both orientation and gender\n\u2013 except that excludes asexuals \u0026amp; aromantics.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u0027s why many people say \u201callocishet\u201d\n\u2013 do you see where we\u0027re going with that?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s the same story as with LGBTQ+ acronym, except with opposites and with greek morphemes instead of letters.\nIt\u0027s bound to grow very long and cause tensions\u2026\nI once saw someone use \u201c\u0026lt;something\u0026gt;allocishet\u201d where \u0026lt;something\u0026gt; referred to non-intersex people.\nIt\u0027s such an obscure usage, that when trying to find that word now, I couldn\u0027t.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo, since \u201cqueer\u201d literally means \u201cstrange\u201d, \u201cdifferent\u201d,\nthe opposite of that would be something that means \u201cnormal\u201d, \u201cregular\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo I was looking for synonyms of \u201cnormal\u201d\nthat wouldn\u0027t be suggesting that normal = better,\nbut wouldn\u0027t be derogatory either.\nNot too obscure, so that everyone can grasp the meaning,\nbut also not too commonly used, so that the new meaning would shine brighter.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd, apparently, \u003Cstrong\u003E\u201ctypic\u201d\u003C\/strong\u003E is a word!\n(I\u0027m not a native speaker, please don\u0027t mock me for not having known it \ud83d\ude05).\nIt\u0027s close enough to \u201ctypical\u201d that everyone will make a connection,\nbut also distinct from it.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIn my humble opinion, \u201cqueer\u201d and \u201ctypic\u201d would be perfect words\nto quickly describe a person\u0027s relationship to\nallo-cis-*-het-normativity.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhat do \u003Cem\u003Eyou\u003C\/em\u003E think?\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["queer","lgbtq+","typic","heteronormative","words","allocishet"],"hasMore":true,"image":null,"introLite":"\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027m on a quest. A quest to find two words:\none to describe gender, sexual and romantic minorities,\nand one to describe the rest.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI know, the title gives away the result,\nbut please bear with me while I explain how I got there \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027m on a quest. A quest to find two words:\none to describe gender, sexual and romantic minorities,\nand one to describe the rest.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI know, the title gives away the result,\nbut please bear with me while I explain how I got there \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EWhy not LGBTQ+?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBecause we can\u0027t seem to agree which letters to include there.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYes, we can say \u201cLGBTTQQIAAP\u201d, but it\u0027s hard to remember, hard to pronounce,\nand despite listing so many letters we \u003Cem\u003Estill\u003C\/em\u003E leave some people out.\nSome people add \u201cU\u201d, \u201cC\u201d, \u201cTS\u201d\/\u201c2S\u201d\/\u201c2\u201d, \u201cP\u201d, \u201cSA\u201d, \u201cD\u201d, \u201cH\u201d, \u201cO\u201d\n\u2013 do you know what all of them stand for without \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/lgbta.wikia.org\/wiki\/LGBT%2B\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E checking the source\u003C\/a\u003E?\nWe can hide \u201cothers\u201d under a plus, but then we might ask, for instance, why do gays deserve a letter, but demisexuals don\u0027t?\nTransphobes are fighting to \u201cdrop the T\u201d.\n\u201cA\u201d stands for many groups (asexual, aromantic, agender) and some even include allocishet allies there \ud83d\ude44\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s a mess, isn\u0027t it?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe search for an LGBT-like acronym is focused on \u003Cem\u003Elisting\u003C\/em\u003E all the possible subgroubs.\nWhat if instead we found something that \u003Cem\u003Edescribes\u003C\/em\u003E who we are?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EWhat instead of LGBTQ+?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut who \u003Cem\u003Eare\u003C\/em\u003E we? What makes us distinct?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWe are gender, sexual and romantic minorities.\nThat description includes everyone that is minoritised because of those reasons. Simple.\nDoesn\u0027t matter if you\u0027re discriminated because of \u003Cem\u003Eyour own\u003C\/em\u003E gender,\nor the gender of \u003Cem\u003Epeople you love\u003C\/em\u003E or sleep with, or the \u003Cem\u003Eway\u003C\/em\u003E you show that affection\u2026\nYou\u0027re in.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd, luckily, it\u0027s already an acronym: \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.urbandictionary.com\/define.php?term=GSRM\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E \u003Cstrong\u003EGSRM\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESadly, it\u0027s barely known. And not too easy to pronounce eitheer. And it\u0027s anothor acronym, not a word.\nFor me, it feels strange put in sentences. And it will look totally different when translated into other languages.\nFor instance in Polish it would be \u201cMPSR\u201d \u2013 hard to see resemblance, right?\nI still can\u0027t get used to the Dutch translating \u201cLGBT\u201d as \u201cLHBT\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDo we have a \u003Cem\u003Eword\u003C\/em\u003E that would convey a similar meaning as GSRM, while being friendlier?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYup! It\u0027s \u003Cstrong\u003Equeer\u003C\/strong\u003E. We reclaimed that slur for a reason \u2013 so let\u0027s use it more!\nEven \u201cgay\u201d was used as a slur by a lot of people.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt describes us well. We\u0027re the \u201cstrange ones\u201d, but in a good way.\nWe\u0027re the ones that don\u0027t fit in in the patriarchal, cishetnormative society and its rules.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-queer-1_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-queer-1_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@stratumgermani1 on Twitter: Everything the \u201cQ-slur\u201d crowd says about why we shouldn\u2019t use the word \u201cqueer\u201d can also be said about \u201cgay\u201d. Gay is just as much a slur as queer is. It has the same history of abuse. Moreso, for this generation, because they\u2019ll have ACTUALLY heard people use it as a slur.\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022160.93178036606\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/stratumgermani1\/status\/1341372052859662340\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csmall\u003Etwitter.com\/stratumgermani1\/status\/1341372052859662340\u003C\/small\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-queer-2_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-queer-2_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@hanpersands on Twitter: queer is an inclusive, reclaimed umbrella term for marginalised sexualities \u0026 genders that allows us to find community with each other without drawing lines in the sand between us, and we should absolutely be suspicious of any person, group, or entity that wants to suppress that\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022173.26633165829\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/hanpersands\/status\/1345108175133949952\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csmall\u003Etwitter.com\/hanpersands\/status\/1345108175133949952\u003C\/small\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EHow to call non-queers?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMany people simply say \u201cstraight\u201d when they mean non-queer people\n\u2013 but that obviously excludes straight trans people from the queer community.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u0027s why many people say \u201ccishet\u201d to account for both orientation and gender\n\u2013 except that excludes asexuals \u0026amp; aromantics.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u0027s why many people say \u201callocishet\u201d\n\u2013 do you see where we\u0027re going with that?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s the same story as with LGBTQ+ acronym, except with opposites and with greek morphemes instead of letters.\nIt\u0027s bound to grow very long and cause tensions\u2026\nI once saw someone use \u201c\u0026lt;something\u0026gt;allocishet\u201d where \u0026lt;something\u0026gt; referred to non-intersex people.\nIt\u0027s such an obscure usage, that when trying to find that word now, I couldn\u0027t.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo, since \u201cqueer\u201d literally means \u201cstrange\u201d, \u201cdifferent\u201d,\nthe opposite of that would be something that means \u201cnormal\u201d, \u201cregular\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo I was looking for synonyms of \u201cnormal\u201d\nthat wouldn\u0027t be suggesting that normal = better,\nbut wouldn\u0027t be derogatory either.\nNot too obscure, so that everyone can grasp the meaning,\nbut also not too commonly used, so that the new meaning would shine brighter.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd, apparently, \u003Cstrong\u003E\u201ctypic\u201d\u003C\/strong\u003E is a word!\n(I\u0027m not a native speaker, please don\u0027t mock me for not having known it \ud83d\ude05).\nIt\u0027s close enough to \u201ctypical\u201d that everyone will make a connection,\nbut also distinct from it.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIn my humble opinion, \u201cqueer\u201d and \u201ctypic\u201d would be perfect words\nto quickly describe a person\u0027s relationship to\nallo-cis-*-het-normativity.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhat do \u003Cem\u003Eyou\u003C\/em\u003E think?\u003C\/p\u003E","words":630,"readTime":3,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/society\/are-polyamorists-part-of-lgbtq":{"key":"blog\/society\/are-polyamorists-part-of-lgbtq","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2020-08-08T19:08:30+02:00","publishedAt":"2020-08-29T21:00:00+02:00","group":"polyamory","category":"blog","subcategory":"society","slug":"are-polyamorists-part-of-lgbtq"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"are-polyamorists-part-of-lgbtq","title":"Are polyamorists part of LGBTQ+?","intro":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/legality-of-polygamy_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Wikipedia page: Legality of polygamy\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022303.6914600551\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/legality-of-polygamy_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Wikipedia page: Legality of polygamy\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022303.6914600551\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAparently, this question is getting asked more and more often nowadays,\nso let me put in my two cents worth. Are polyamorists part of LGBTQ+?\nAnd I don\u0027t mean those who, like myself, are both pansexual and poly,\nor both trans and poly, because of course we are.\nI mean: does polyamory itself make you part of the community?\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/legality-of-polygamy_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Wikipedia page: Legality of polygamy\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022607.38292011019\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/legality-of-polygamy_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Wikipedia page: Legality of polygamy\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022607.38292011019\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.m.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Legality_of_polygamy\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\n                        \u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E\n                        en.m.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Legality_of_polygamy\n                    \u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAparently, this question is getting asked more and more often nowadays,\nso let me put in my two cents worth. Are polyamorists part of LGBTQ+?\nAnd I don\u0027t mean those who, like myself, are both pansexual and poly,\nor both trans and poly, because of course we are.\nI mean: does polyamory itself make you part of the community?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EIs it in the name?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELet me start by saying that I\u0027m not the biggest fan of the acronym \u201cLGBTQ+\u201d.\nAs much is it makes it easy to explain to allocishets what\u0027s the deal,\nI\u0027m not a fan, because it\u0027s very specific in terms of listing its members.\nWhich leaves it open for endless fights about who\u0027s in and who\u0027s out.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhich letters did we forget to include? Isn\u0027t that too many letters to remember and pronounce?\nShould we maybe get rid of the T \u201cbEcAuSe ItS nOt An OrIeNtAtIoN\u201d?\nDoes \u201cA\u201d stand for asexual, aromantic, agender, or maybe even ally?\nWhat\u0027s hiding under the plus? All those fights are so counterproductive\u2026 \ud83d\ude44\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EEven though I don\u0027t use it too often (as hardly anyone knows this acronym),\nI really prefer for instance \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.urbandictionary.com\/define.php?term=GSRM\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E \u003Cstrong\u003EGSRM\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt stands for \u201cGender, Sexual, and Romantic Minorities\u201d.\nIt includes everyone that is minoritised because of those reasons. That\u0027s it.\nDoesn\u0027t matter if you\u0027re discriminated because of \u003Cem\u003Eyour own\u003C\/em\u003E gender,\nor the gender of \u003Cem\u003Epeople you love\u003C\/em\u003E or sleep with, or the \u003Cem\u003Eway\u003C\/em\u003E you show that affection\u2026\nYou\u0027re in. This acronym doesn\u0027t \u003Cem\u003Elist\u003C\/em\u003E groups that can join.\nIt \u003Cem\u003Edescribes\u003C\/em\u003E the type of issues that bring us together.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnother word I like and use in lieu of LGBTQ+ \u2013 despite its history as a reclaimed slur \u2013 is \u003Cstrong\u003E\u201cqueer\u201d\u003C\/strong\u003E.\nIt also \u003Cem\u003Edescribes\u003C\/em\u003E us in a simple way: we\u0027re the \u201cstrange ones\u201d, the ones that don\u0027t fit in\nin the patriarchal, cishetnormative society and its rules.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd obviously, polyamorists fit both of those. We\u0027re a romantic \u0026amp; sexual minority.\nWe\u0027re different, we\u0027re strange, we\u0027re \u003Cem\u003Equeer\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHonestly, looking at so many cishetnormative relationships around me,\nI feel like desiring relationships that are based on honesty and love\ninstead of just exclusivity and outdated gender norms, is \u003Cem\u003Ethe queerest\u003C\/em\u003E thing imaginable.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EAre we facing similar discrimination?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u0027s a simple one: yes.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe main issue that LGBTQ+ activists are fighting for all around the world\nis the right to marry whichever consenting adult we want.\nSure, the main focus is on the \u003Cem\u003Egender\u003C\/em\u003E of the partners,\nbut why wouldn\u0027t the same ideal apply to the \u003Cem\u003Enumber\u003C\/em\u003E of partners?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf I\u0027m in a loving, committed relationship,\nbut can\u0027t possibly get married to that person if we wanted to,\njust because we both have the same type of genitals\n\u2013 that\u0027s a blatant discrimination, right?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd if I\u0027m in a loving, committed relationship,\nbut can\u0027t possibly get married to that person if we wanted to,\njust because\u2026 I\u0027m also in \u003Cem\u003Eanother\u003C\/em\u003E loving, committed relationship?\nHow is that not discrimination, huh?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd no, the countries \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.m.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Legality_of_polygamy\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E listed on wiki\u003C\/a\u003E\nas recognising polygamous marriages, aren\u0027t what I have in mind.\nIt\u0027s a totally different approach to marriage:\nreligious, based on a misogynystic culture of treating women as submissive.\nNot a single polyamorous person I know would feel liberated if they emigrated to one of those countries.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EApart from the lack of legal recognition, polyamorous people are also facing adversity elsewhere.\nBecause it\u0027s not \u003Cem\u003Enormal\u003C\/em\u003E in our societies, isn it? We look like \u003Cem\u003Echeaters\u003C\/em\u003E, don\u0027t we?\nWe\u0027re some sort of \u003Cem\u003Esex freaks\u003C\/em\u003E, right?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWe\u0027re far from being mainstream. We\u0027re misunderstood, slut-shamed, kink-shamed\u2026\nWe don\u0027t get much representation in movies, series or books\u2026\nOur coming outs as polyamorous are not that different from gay people\u0027s coming outs as gay.\nThe world is just as couple-normative, as it is heteronormative, cisnormative and allonormative.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EBut is it an identity?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWe tend to think of polyamory in terms of \u201chaving multiple partners at the moment\u201d, don\u0027t we?\nCan a \u003Cem\u003Esingle\u003C\/em\u003E person be poly? Can a person in a \u003Cem\u003Emonogamous relationship\u003C\/em\u003E be poly?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDoesn\u0027t that remind you of what bi people go through?\n\u201cOh this bi girl is dating a guy now, so I guess she \u003Cem\u003Echose\u003C\/em\u003E to be straight\u201d\u2026 Yeah, no.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/my-definition-of-polyamory\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-people-carry\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E My definition of polyamory\u003C\/a\u003E puts the spotlight not on the \u003Cem\u003Ecurrent situation\u003C\/em\u003E,\nbut on the \u003Cem\u003Edesire\u003C\/em\u003E not to be limited to one person,\non the \u003Cem\u003Eapproach\u003C\/em\u003E to relationships that\u0027s based on honesty and openness \u2013 and not exclusivity.\nJust like a gay virgin is still gay.\nJust like a trans person before transition is still trans.\nJust like a bisexual man in a relationship with a guy doesn\u0027t suddenly become gay.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EPolyamory is not temporary. It\u0027s not a fluke. It\u0027s not a nuisance.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s who we are.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ESumming up.\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe best thing about the LGBTQ+ community is its \u003Cstrong\u003Einclusivity\u003C\/strong\u003E. So it\u0027s time to show it.\nWe see a group of people whose romantic and sexual identity makes them marginalised,\nwho undergo struggles similar in so many ways to what other queers experience.\nIt\u0027s time to welcome them with open arms.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["polyamory","relationship","minority","definition","lgbtq","queer","inclusivity"],"hasMore":true,"image":"https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/legality-of-polygamy_small.png","introLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/legality-of-polygamy_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/legality-of-polygamy_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Wikipedia page: Legality of polygamy\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022151.84573002755\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAparently, this question is getting asked more and more often nowadays,\nso let me put in my two cents worth. Are polyamorists part of LGBTQ+?\nAnd I don\u0027t mean those who, like myself, are both pansexual and poly,\nor both trans and poly, because of course we are.\nI mean: does polyamory itself make you part of the community?\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/legality-of-polygamy_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/legality-of-polygamy_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Wikipedia page: Legality of polygamy\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022151.84573002755\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.m.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Legality_of_polygamy\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csmall\u003Een.m.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Legality_of_polygamy\u003C\/small\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAparently, this question is getting asked more and more often nowadays,\nso let me put in my two cents worth. Are polyamorists part of LGBTQ+?\nAnd I don\u0027t mean those who, like myself, are both pansexual and poly,\nor both trans and poly, because of course we are.\nI mean: does polyamory itself make you part of the community?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EIs it in the name?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELet me start by saying that I\u0027m not the biggest fan of the acronym \u201cLGBTQ+\u201d.\nAs much is it makes it easy to explain to allocishets what\u0027s the deal,\nI\u0027m not a fan, because it\u0027s very specific in terms of listing its members.\nWhich leaves it open for endless fights about who\u0027s in and who\u0027s out.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhich letters did we forget to include? Isn\u0027t that too many letters to remember and pronounce?\nShould we maybe get rid of the T \u201cbEcAuSe ItS nOt An OrIeNtAtIoN\u201d?\nDoes \u201cA\u201d stand for asexual, aromantic, agender, or maybe even ally?\nWhat\u0027s hiding under the plus? All those fights are so counterproductive\u2026 \ud83d\ude44\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EEven though I don\u0027t use it too often (as hardly anyone knows this acronym),\nI really prefer for instance \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.urbandictionary.com\/define.php?term=GSRM\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E \u003Cstrong\u003EGSRM\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt stands for \u201cGender, Sexual, and Romantic Minorities\u201d.\nIt includes everyone that is minoritised because of those reasons. That\u0027s it.\nDoesn\u0027t matter if you\u0027re discriminated because of \u003Cem\u003Eyour own\u003C\/em\u003E gender,\nor the gender of \u003Cem\u003Epeople you love\u003C\/em\u003E or sleep with, or the \u003Cem\u003Eway\u003C\/em\u003E you show that affection\u2026\nYou\u0027re in. This acronym doesn\u0027t \u003Cem\u003Elist\u003C\/em\u003E groups that can join.\nIt \u003Cem\u003Edescribes\u003C\/em\u003E the type of issues that bring us together.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnother word I like and use in lieu of LGBTQ+ \u2013 despite its history as a reclaimed slur \u2013 is \u003Cstrong\u003E\u201cqueer\u201d\u003C\/strong\u003E.\nIt also \u003Cem\u003Edescribes\u003C\/em\u003E us in a simple way: we\u0027re the \u201cstrange ones\u201d, the ones that don\u0027t fit in\nin the patriarchal, cishetnormative society and its rules.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd obviously, polyamorists fit both of those. We\u0027re a romantic \u0026amp; sexual minority.\nWe\u0027re different, we\u0027re strange, we\u0027re \u003Cem\u003Equeer\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EHonestly, looking at so many cishetnormative relationships around me,\nI feel like desiring relationships that are based on honesty and love\ninstead of just exclusivity and outdated gender norms, is \u003Cem\u003Ethe queerest\u003C\/em\u003E thing imaginable.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EAre we facing similar discrimination?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u0027s a simple one: yes.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe main issue that LGBTQ+ activists are fighting for all around the world\nis the right to marry whichever consenting adult we want.\nSure, the main focus is on the \u003Cem\u003Egender\u003C\/em\u003E of the partners,\nbut why wouldn\u0027t the same ideal apply to the \u003Cem\u003Enumber\u003C\/em\u003E of partners?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf I\u0027m in a loving, committed relationship,\nbut can\u0027t possibly get married to that person if we wanted to,\njust because we both have the same type of genitals\n\u2013 that\u0027s a blatant discrimination, right?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd if I\u0027m in a loving, committed relationship,\nbut can\u0027t possibly get married to that person if we wanted to,\njust because\u2026 I\u0027m also in \u003Cem\u003Eanother\u003C\/em\u003E loving, committed relationship?\nHow is that not discrimination, huh?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd no, the countries \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.m.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Legality_of_polygamy\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E listed on wiki\u003C\/a\u003E\nas recognising polygamous marriages, aren\u0027t what I have in mind.\nIt\u0027s a totally different approach to marriage:\nreligious, based on a misogynystic culture of treating women as submissive.\nNot a single polyamorous person I know would feel liberated if they emigrated to one of those countries.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EApart from the lack of legal recognition, polyamorous people are also facing adversity elsewhere.\nBecause it\u0027s not \u003Cem\u003Enormal\u003C\/em\u003E in our societies, isn it? We look like \u003Cem\u003Echeaters\u003C\/em\u003E, don\u0027t we?\nWe\u0027re some sort of \u003Cem\u003Esex freaks\u003C\/em\u003E, right?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWe\u0027re far from being mainstream. We\u0027re misunderstood, slut-shamed, kink-shamed\u2026\nWe don\u0027t get much representation in movies, series or books\u2026\nOur coming outs as polyamorous are not that different from gay people\u0027s coming outs as gay.\nThe world is just as couple-normative, as it is heteronormative, cisnormative and allonormative.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EBut is it an identity?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWe tend to think of polyamory in terms of \u201chaving multiple partners at the moment\u201d, don\u0027t we?\nCan a \u003Cem\u003Esingle\u003C\/em\u003E person be poly? Can a person in a \u003Cem\u003Emonogamous relationship\u003C\/em\u003E be poly?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDoesn\u0027t that remind you of what bi people go through?\n\u201cOh this bi girl is dating a guy now, so I guess she \u003Cem\u003Echose\u003C\/em\u003E to be straight\u201d\u2026 Yeah, no.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/my-definition-of-polyamory.lite\u0022\u003E My definition of polyamory\u003C\/a\u003E puts the spotlight not on the \u003Cem\u003Ecurrent situation\u003C\/em\u003E,\nbut on the \u003Cem\u003Edesire\u003C\/em\u003E not to be limited to one person,\non the \u003Cem\u003Eapproach\u003C\/em\u003E to relationships that\u0027s based on honesty and openness \u2013 and not exclusivity.\nJust like a gay virgin is still gay.\nJust like a trans person before transition is still trans.\nJust like a bisexual man in a relationship with a guy doesn\u0027t suddenly become gay.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EPolyamory is not temporary. It\u0027s not a fluke. It\u0027s not a nuisance.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s who we are.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ESumming up.\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe best thing about the LGBTQ+ community is its \u003Cstrong\u003Einclusivity\u003C\/strong\u003E. So it\u0027s time to show it.\nWe see a group of people whose romantic and sexual identity makes them marginalised,\nwho undergo struggles similar in so many ways to what other queers experience.\nIt\u0027s time to welcome them with open arms.\u003C\/p\u003E","words":831,"readTime":4,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/life\/treating-children-like-people":{"key":"blog\/life\/treating-children-like-people","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2020-05-23T11:49:32+02:00","publishedAt":"2020-05-23T11:49:32+02:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"life","slug":"treating-children-like-people"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"treating-children-like-people","title":"Treating children like people","intro":"\u003Cp\u003EThere\u0027s plenty of reasons to love Da\u00f0i Freyr\u0027s song\n(and my personal favourite for the 2020 Eurovision win)\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=VFZNvj-HfBU\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E \u201dThink About Things\u201d\u003C\/a\u003E.\nBut the most important reason is this:\nDa\u00f0i is singing about \u003Cem\u003Etreating his child like a human being\u003C\/em\u003E.\nAnd that\u0027s why the song brings me to tears.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cp\u003EThere\u0027s plenty of reasons to love Da\u00f0i Freyr\u0027s song\n(and my personal favourite for the 2020 Eurovision win)\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=VFZNvj-HfBU\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E \u201dThink About Things\u201d\u003C\/a\u003E.\nBut the most important reason is this:\nDa\u00f0i is singing about \u003Cem\u003Etreating his child like a human being\u003C\/em\u003E.\nAnd that\u0027s why the song brings me to tears.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote class=\u0022blockquote ml-4 pl-4 border-left\u0022\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBaby, I can\u0027t wait to know\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nWhat do you think about things\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nBelieve me, I will always be there, so\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nYou can tell me anything and I\u0027ll listen\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYou see: my parents were never eager to learn what I think about things. They already knew what I \u003Cem\u003Ehave to\u003C\/em\u003E think.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey knew I\u0027m gonna be a nice catholic boy that will grow up to love Jesus and marry a woman that they would approve of.\nThey had my whole life planned out for me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EExcept, they didn\u0027t take into account that it\u0027s \u003Cem\u003Emy\u003C\/em\u003E life, not theirs.\nThey ended up with a nonbinary, atheist child who married a man.\nAnd it would\u0027ve been waaaaay easier, both for me and them,\nif they had just accepted the possibility that I won\u0027t grow up to be \u003Cem\u003Ea clone of theirs\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAlmost every bigger problem, every stressful situation, every abusive behaviour of theirs\ncan be traced back to this stupid idea that their goal is not to bring up a person,\nbut to\u2026 well, \u003Cem\u003Eproduce\u003C\/em\u003E more of themselves.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ECan you imagine how hard it was to come out as queer to someone who treats it\nas a \u003Cem\u003Epersonal failure\u003C\/em\u003E (and a personal attack) that they didn\u0027t manage to \u003Cem\u003Emake you\u003C\/em\u003E\nexeactly the same orientation as they are?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOtherwise, they weren\u0027t \u201dactively\u201d homophobic.\nThey weren\u0027t saying ugly shit about gay couples on TV or pro-gay politicians, they just didn\u0027t care at all.\nWhen it came to their own child, though?\nRight after coming out I\u0027ve heard that \u201dthose fags should get their balls cut off\u201d from my own father.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey shamed me for having the second highest grade average in the best high school in the city\n(\u201dwhy not the highest?\u201d), for not having exactly the same skills and interests as they do,\nfor not liking the exact same types of food they do\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAll of that could\u0027ve been avoided, if they just considered me my own person.\nIf I were a stranger, they wouldn\u0027t tell me whom to marry or what to believe in.\nBut, since they gave birth to me, I\u0027m somehow \u003Cem\u003Esupposed to\u003C\/em\u003E be what they want me to.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe thing is, though: I won\u0027t be. I\u0027ll be my own self, sooner or later, whether you like it or not.\nThe only thing you can do about it, is make it harder for all of us.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnother fragment of the song that really moves me is this one:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote class=\u0022blockquote ml-4 pl-4 border-left\u0022\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThough I know I\u2005love\u2005you\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nI find it\u2005hard to see how you feel\u2005about me\u003Cbr\/\u003E\n\u0027Cause I don\u0027t understand you\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nOh, you are yet to learn how to speak\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDa\u00f0i doesn\u0027t assume that his child loves him.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELove and respect are not a given. You have to build a relationship with someone and earn their respect.\nFew things in the world angry me more than people forcing each other to like other people \u201dbecause it\u0027s family\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYeah, no. Blood ties don\u0027t mean shit on their own.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027m way closer to some people unrelated to me than I ever was with anyone of my family. And I\u0027m happy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhat\u0027s very important: it seems like my experience is not an exception, but a rule.\nThink about all those parents who \u003Cem\u003Ehave to\u003C\/em\u003E have a child that becomes a doctor or a lawyer.\nThink about all those fathers who hate their daughters because they \u003Cem\u003Ereally wanted\u003C\/em\u003E a son.\nThing about all those mothers who send their offspring to extracarriculars that they just hate.\nAnd so on, and so forth.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ENot even that! Think about all those people who switch to a bizzarly awful \u201dbaby talk\u201d whenever they see a child.\nWhy the hell do they do that? How do they expect the child to learn to speak like a human,\nif they keep exposing them to a caricature of speach?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThink about parents who hate it when their kids call them by name.\nEvery other person close to them just calls them by their name.\nBut if their \u003Cem\u003Echild\u003C\/em\u003E says something other than mom\/mommy\/dad\/daddy\/whatever, they take great offense.\nAs if the kids were inferior to them.\nNot allowed to call them the way that every other human being calls people close to them.\nIsn\u0027t it strange?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cem\u003EYour child is a human being. Treat them as one.\u003C\/em\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOh well, anyways\u2026 Enjoy the song \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022text-center my-4\u0022\u003E\u003Ciframe width=\u0022640\u0022 height=\u0022360\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/VFZNvj-HfBU\u0022 frameborder=\u00220\u0022 allowfullscreen\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["child","minor","parenting","abuse","parents","childhood","queer"],"hasMore":true,"image":null,"introLite":"\u003Cp\u003EThere\u0027s plenty of reasons to love Da\u00f0i Freyr\u0027s song\n(and my personal favourite for the 2020 Eurovision win)\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=VFZNvj-HfBU\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E \u201dThink About Things\u201d\u003C\/a\u003E.\nBut the most important reason is this:\nDa\u00f0i is singing about \u003Cem\u003Etreating his child like a human being\u003C\/em\u003E.\nAnd that\u0027s why the song brings me to tears.\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cp\u003EThere\u0027s plenty of reasons to love Da\u00f0i Freyr\u0027s song\n(and my personal favourite for the 2020 Eurovision win)\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=VFZNvj-HfBU\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E \u201dThink About Things\u201d\u003C\/a\u003E.\nBut the most important reason is this:\nDa\u00f0i is singing about \u003Cem\u003Etreating his child like a human being\u003C\/em\u003E.\nAnd that\u0027s why the song brings me to tears.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBaby, I can\u0027t wait to know\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nWhat do you think about things\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nBelieve me, I will always be there, so\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nYou can tell me anything and I\u0027ll listen\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYou see: my parents were never eager to learn what I think about things. They already knew what I \u003Cem\u003Ehave to\u003C\/em\u003E think.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey knew I\u0027m gonna be a nice catholic boy that will grow up to love Jesus and marry a woman that they would approve of.\nThey had my whole life planned out for me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EExcept, they didn\u0027t take into account that it\u0027s \u003Cem\u003Emy\u003C\/em\u003E life, not theirs.\nThey ended up with a nonbinary, atheist child who married a man.\nAnd it would\u0027ve been waaaaay easier, both for me and them,\nif they had just accepted the possibility that I won\u0027t grow up to be \u003Cem\u003Ea clone of theirs\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAlmost every bigger problem, every stressful situation, every abusive behaviour of theirs\ncan be traced back to this stupid idea that their goal is not to bring up a person,\nbut to\u2026 well, \u003Cem\u003Eproduce\u003C\/em\u003E more of themselves.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ECan you imagine how hard it was to come out as queer to someone who treats it\nas a \u003Cem\u003Epersonal failure\u003C\/em\u003E (and a personal attack) that they didn\u0027t manage to \u003Cem\u003Emake you\u003C\/em\u003E\nexeactly the same orientation as they are?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOtherwise, they weren\u0027t \u201dactively\u201d homophobic.\nThey weren\u0027t saying ugly shit about gay couples on TV or pro-gay politicians, they just didn\u0027t care at all.\nWhen it came to their own child, though?\nRight after coming out I\u0027ve heard that \u201dthose fags should get their balls cut off\u201d from my own father.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey shamed me for having the second highest grade average in the best high school in the city\n(\u201dwhy not the highest?\u201d), for not having exactly the same skills and interests as they do,\nfor not liking the exact same types of food they do\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAll of that could\u0027ve been avoided, if they just considered me my own person.\nIf I were a stranger, they wouldn\u0027t tell me whom to marry or what to believe in.\nBut, since they gave birth to me, I\u0027m somehow \u003Cem\u003Esupposed to\u003C\/em\u003E be what they want me to.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe thing is, though: I won\u0027t be. I\u0027ll be my own self, sooner or later, whether you like it or not.\nThe only thing you can do about it, is make it harder for all of us.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnother fragment of the song that really moves me is this one:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThough I know I\u2005love\u2005you\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nI find it\u2005hard to see how you feel\u2005about me\u003Cbr\/\u003E\n\u0027Cause I don\u0027t understand you\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nOh, you are yet to learn how to speak\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDa\u00f0i doesn\u0027t assume that his child loves him.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELove and respect are not a given. You have to build a relationship with someone and earn their respect.\nFew things in the world angry me more than people forcing each other to like other people \u201dbecause it\u0027s family\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYeah, no. Blood ties don\u0027t mean shit on their own.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027m way closer to some people unrelated to me than I ever was with anyone of my family. And I\u0027m happy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhat\u0027s very important: it seems like my experience is not an exception, but a rule.\nThink about all those parents who \u003Cem\u003Ehave to\u003C\/em\u003E have a child that becomes a doctor or a lawyer.\nThink about all those fathers who hate their daughters because they \u003Cem\u003Ereally wanted\u003C\/em\u003E a son.\nThing about all those mothers who send their offspring to extracarriculars that they just hate.\nAnd so on, and so forth.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ENot even that! Think about all those people who switch to a bizzarly awful \u201dbaby talk\u201d whenever they see a child.\nWhy the hell do they do that? How do they expect the child to learn to speak like a human,\nif they keep exposing them to a caricature of speach?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThink about parents who hate it when their kids call them by name.\nEvery other person close to them just calls them by their name.\nBut if their \u003Cem\u003Echild\u003C\/em\u003E says something other than mom\/mommy\/dad\/daddy\/whatever, they take great offense.\nAs if the kids were inferior to them.\nNot allowed to call them the way that every other human being calls people close to them.\nIsn\u0027t it strange?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cem\u003EYour child is a human being. Treat them as one.\u003C\/em\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOh well, anyways\u2026 Enjoy the song \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022text-center my-4\u0022\u003E\u003Ciframe width=\u0022640\u0022 height=\u0022360\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/VFZNvj-HfBU\u0022 frameborder=\u00220\u0022 allowfullscreen\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E","words":771,"readTime":4,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/mythology\/why-do-queers-care-about-churches":{"key":"blog\/mythology\/why-do-queers-care-about-churches","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2020-01-23T20:38:49+01:00","publishedAt":"2020-01-23T20:38:49+01:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"mythology","slug":"why-do-queers-care-about-churches"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"why-do-queers-care-about-churches","title":"Why do queers care about churches?","intro":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-emile-wickham-church_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@emile_wickham on Twitter: I\u2019ve never understood the LBGTQs community insistence on fighting for acceptance from religious entities. Church participation for the most part is voluntary. Find a church whose doctrine lines up with your beliefs?\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022316\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACQAAAAXCAYAAABj7u2bAAAACXBIWXMAAA7EAAAOxAGVKw4bAAAEl0lEQVRIic2XW2\/cRBTHfzPj29reS7LbNtvylFJaeECAAIki8YAEgne+F28882FoRYsENEVqty2FhISS7WYv9tZerz0zPGwSsmmgFELF\/2WOzxyN\/2fOzRZaG7v5aIebW\/f54PU36UYtrLUACCGw1i6twJL8b3DSmQ7A519+QfBgk\/HHH\/LJ1Y\/48eFDVlotHu3uEvg+r165wtrauX9N4DiOOpXPCsJasCCkh2PEdMJO7wHxp5+xfukyCDh34SW01mgh2Nz5jSiscWa1dSq3cxxhLViQ1NrY8XjED7du8dpbb9ButE79Zc8DobWxP23\/ihQCKQVCSIJawMYTlxVfIgBt4cqKR+yc\/s2cSOh4BA6S+Kh8PExH958HzyoIB+DGzW+YTCZcuvQyvd494jhCSkWj0aAoZvy8ucW5s2fJsowoijDGEAQB\/X4fKSUX19fZuH2bdrvNvCzxXJcznQ7D0RDP80nTlNXVFUajMUopzne7XL78yonOC62N1bo6ZO+67lOeT6dTPM9Da421llqthtaa+XxOrVZbKt2qqpiXJeG+Pk1T4jhesun3+6yurh6+ayk6Whv71bVrVLpCCokxhjiOSJKU890ujwcD1tbWuHf\/PnEU4XkeSZLQaNQBuHDhAnd7PTrtDts7OzTqdRzHoaoqhBBcXF9nc2uLoijodtfY2xsihGCSJPieh+\/7vPvO2wTBkSob7A3IsgxrLZ7nEUcxZVUyGU\/onOmQPcmoqoowrGGMIU2n+IGP7\/vkWY7jKCxgtMH3PapKM5vNaLVa5LMcKSVaa6IwZF6WFEVBHEW4rkcUhU\/f0MbtDeI4xhpLlmWEUUiz0SRJE4wxOMrBcRySNCHPZ3Q6bYqioCwrZnlOs9XCGE273abff8yZTpt0OsUYg+\/7jEYjHMchDEP2BnustleJ4xhdabrdtSVCEsB1XLIsZ17OkVKSZTlJmhAEAdPplLIsyfOcMAxxlNpPxEU+tFZaDAYDHMdhe3ubehzzy\/Y2utKUZcnu7i5BEGAtDIcjPM+jUa\/T7\/fJsoyvb9zk2+++x1q7qMBFYxxjjKaYz\/E8j6Io8FwXPwgQQFVVgEAIgdYVxlqklDhKYYxZ6I2hnJfEcbRfBD4Axhhcb5G8ZVlijcF1PSbJhHa7TZ7nCCHotNt\/VNm169dRShEEPkmSMhwOaTabWGsJgoD3r773543llCG0NnY2W4Tj6GQ\/NDhhwh+3+yfywTnH9xyAUhvGScr0Sc5Ks05ezHGUxHVdpk8yhBCstBo8SDSuhEBJZtqiBBTG4knBWqioKfG3SR13+EAWWhtblHMEAqUkUkqKYo5SEmvBWANAzffJKou24EgwR1ZjIVACdQqjTmht7LPNXgyE2A\/ZnV6PqNHEd120McRhSD2qceduj7heRyiXViOmWY\/\/e1KLG7JYC4j9hAWUUovZtVCDECgpXxSh\/weE2O\/Uiw+zhSKfzXj0eHD4LKU43D+QHw9HjNN0yeaofHDGcf1ReW88oazKQ91BsQmtjZVyub9UWh+G56Q+VFUapeRf\/o2UVYXrOE\/pD+R8VuAohesu2\/wOOH6UFraQtfkAAAAASUVORK5CYII=\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-emile-wickham-church_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@emile_wickham on Twitter: I\u2019ve never understood the LBGTQs community insistence on fighting for acceptance from religious entities. Church participation for the most part is voluntary. Find a church whose doctrine lines up with your beliefs?\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022316\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EUnder \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/world\/2020\/jan\/23\/sex-married-heterosexual-couples-church-of-england-christians\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E a news\u003C\/a\u003E\nthat yet another church keeps being an asshole towards queer people\nsome guy is asking why don\u0027t they just ignore it and find a better church.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOh the privilege...\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-emile-wickham-church_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@emile_wickham on Twitter: I\u2019ve never understood the LBGTQs community insistence on fighting for acceptance from religious entities. Church participation for the most part is voluntary. Find a church whose doctrine lines up with your beliefs?\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022600\u0022 height=\u0022395\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-emile-wickham-church_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@emile_wickham on Twitter: I\u2019ve never understood the LBGTQs community insistence on fighting for acceptance from religious entities. Church participation for the most part is voluntary. Find a church whose doctrine lines up with your beliefs?\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022600\u0022 height=\u0022395\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/emile_wickham\/status\/1220353559050539009\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\n                        \u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E\n                        twitter.com\/emile_wickham\/status\/1220353559050539009\n                    \u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EUnder \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/world\/2020\/jan\/23\/sex-married-heterosexual-couples-church-of-england-christians\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E a news\u003C\/a\u003E\nthat yet another church keeps being an asshole towards queer people\nsome guy is asking why don\u0027t they just ignore it and find a better church.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOh the privilege...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf the churches indoctrinate you since childhood\n\u0026amp; threaten you with eternal damnation for defying their doctrine\n\u2013 membership is far from voluntary.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd as long as the churches have a huge influence over how our families and the society treat us\n\u2013 not caring about them is a luxury we simply can\u0027t afford.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMy family\u0027s homophobia towards me is motivated purely religiously.\nAnd my apostasy from the Catholic Church didn\u0027t make them hate me less, quite the opposite.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAsking queers to \u003Cem\u003Ejust find a better church\u003C\/em\u003E is like asking black people\nwhy don\u0027t they just \u003Cem\u003Eignore\u003C\/em\u003E the existence of the KKK. \ud83d\ude44\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["religion","church","privilege","queer","lgbtq","marriage","sex","homosexuality"],"hasMore":true,"image":"https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-emile-wickham-church_small.png","introLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-emile-wickham-church_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-emile-wickham-church_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@emile_wickham on Twitter: I\u2019ve never understood the LBGTQs community insistence on fighting for acceptance from religious entities. Church participation for the most part is voluntary. Find a church whose doctrine lines up with your beliefs?\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022158\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EUnder \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/world\/2020\/jan\/23\/sex-married-heterosexual-couples-church-of-england-christians\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E a news\u003C\/a\u003E\nthat yet another church keeps being an asshole towards queer people\nsome guy is asking why don\u0027t they just ignore it and find a better church.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOh the privilege...\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-emile-wickham-church_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/tweet-emile-wickham-church_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022@emile_wickham on Twitter: I\u2019ve never understood the LBGTQs community insistence on fighting for acceptance from religious entities. Church participation for the most part is voluntary. Find a church whose doctrine lines up with your beliefs?\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022158\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/emile_wickham\/status\/1220353559050539009\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csmall\u003Etwitter.com\/emile_wickham\/status\/1220353559050539009\u003C\/small\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EUnder \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/world\/2020\/jan\/23\/sex-married-heterosexual-couples-church-of-england-christians\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E a news\u003C\/a\u003E\nthat yet another church keeps being an asshole towards queer people\nsome guy is asking why don\u0027t they just ignore it and find a better church.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOh the privilege...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf the churches indoctrinate you since childhood\n\u0026amp; threaten you with eternal damnation for defying their doctrine\n\u2013 membership is far from voluntary.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd as long as the churches have a huge influence over how our families and the society treat us\n\u2013 not caring about them is a luxury we simply can\u0027t afford.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMy family\u0027s homophobia towards me is motivated purely religiously.\nAnd my apostasy from the Catholic Church didn\u0027t make them hate me less, quite the opposite.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAsking queers to \u003Cem\u003Ejust find a better church\u003C\/em\u003E is like asking black people\nwhy don\u0027t they just \u003Cem\u003Eignore\u003C\/em\u003E the existence of the KKK. \ud83d\ude44\u003C\/p\u003E","words":137,"readTime":null,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/society\/estimating-the-number-of-lgbtq-people":{"key":"blog\/society\/estimating-the-number-of-lgbtq-people","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2018-12-09T10:58:48+01:00","publishedAt":"2020-01-18T16:50:00+01:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"society","slug":"estimating-the-number-of-lgbtq-people"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"estimating-the-number-of-lgbtq-people","title":"Estimating the number of LGBTQ people","intro":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/romeo-calculator_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022519.16083916084\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg 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data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/romeo-calculator_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022519.16083916084\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThis post is not about gays. It\u0027s about maths.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/romeo-calculator_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022858\u0022 height=\u0022928\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/romeo-calculator_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022858\u0022 height=\u0022928\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThis post is not about gays. It\u0027s about maths.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESome guy online told me that queers don\u0027t deserve rights (or at least the attention of lawmakers),\nbecause they make up only 0.03% of the population. Which is ridiculous.\nBoth the argumentation, and the number itself. Human rights are inherent and inviolable,\nhuman dignity doesn\u0027t depend on numbers of specific minoritiesed groups.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut it shows how important it is to properly estimate how many queer people are there in society.\nUsually, homophobes are trying to prove it\u0027s as low as 0.5% to make homosexuality sound like an aberration,\nsome totally marginal oddity that can be ignored, laughed at or hated.\nMeanwhile, \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.out.com\/news-opinion\/2016\/3\/11\/less-50-teens-identify-straight-says-new-study\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E some studies go as high as 52%\u003C\/a\u003E!\nThat\u0027s a number that should make every homophobic politician worry about their reelection\nunless they change their hateful policies. Where are such huge discrepancies coming from?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThis study treated sexual orientation as a spectrum, and not just gay\/bi\/straight.\n52% is the number of people who say they aren\u0027t 100% straight.\nAlso, it\u0027s among teenagers in the US, which shows that younger people\nin countries where the taboo on homosexuality is lower are more open\nto embrace their queer side and to admit it in a questionnaire.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut let\u0027s come back to that ridiculous figure of 0.03%.\nIf it were true, that would mean there\u0027s only 12 000 queers in Poland\n\u2013 while last year\u0027s \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/paradarownosci\/\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E Equality Parade\u003C\/a\u003E\ngathered around 50 000 people attending in Warsaw alone.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat would also make my hometown of Szczecin, population 400k,\na home to just 120 gays, bisexuals, lesbians and trans people.\nAssuming half of them are female and like a third is a proper age\n\u2014 my dating pool would have been just 30 people.\nI probably slept with more than that before I\u0027d moved out of the city.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELooking at my high school class, there were 4 people (out of 28) that I know to be LGBTQ\n(and probably some more that I don\u0027t know about), making it around 14%.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut neither of those methods of trying to estimate this number from my personal experience\nhas even a hint of scientific rigour. Most importantly, the sample sizes are laughably small,\nmaking them not representative at all.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EProper scientific studies, albeit probably pretty reliable, are easily dismissed by homophobes\n\u2013 those surveys were done by some random people they don\u0027t trust,\nthe respondends didn\u0027t have to tell the truth about their orientation, etc. etc.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut I think I came up with a way to very roughly estimate the number of gay, lesbian and bisexual people\nthat everyone\u003Ca href=\u0022#ftn-1\u0022 id=\u0022ftn-ref-1\u0022\u003E\u003Csup\u003E[1]\u003C\/sup\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\ncan do for themselves and see with their own eyes that there\u0027s a lot of us.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI went on \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.planetromeo.com\/\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E PlanetRomeo\u003C\/a\u003E,\na very popular gay hookup app that shows you profiles of other guys sorted by distance.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI scrolled down until the 780\u003Csup\u003Eth\u003C\/sup\u003E person until I\u0027ve reached the first person to be \u201c1 km away\u201d.\nThis means that in a circle with the area of \u03c0r\u00b2 = 3.14 km\u00b2 there are at least 780 gays and bisexual guys\n(and probably some girls, and trans people, and couples with a joint account\n\u2013 but those numbers should be neglectable for the purpose of this rough estimation).\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s hard to estimate, how many gays in here use this particular app, how many use a different one,\nhow many use multiple, and how many don\u0027t use any... \u2014 so keep in mind that 780 is the lowest estimate.\nIn the radius of 1 km from me there are \u003Cem\u003Eat least\u003C\/em\u003E 780 guys, actively looking for another guy to meet.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI think it\u0027s safe to assume that the number of lesbians and bisexual girls would be similar, if not higher\n(studies suggest girls tend to be more bisexual than guys, which makes it a low estimate as well),\nso let\u0027s double our number: there\u0027s at the very least 1560 queer people in the 3.14 km\u00b2 area around me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe population density of the district I live in is 6966 people\/km\u00b2.\nThat means queers are at the very least \u003Ccode\u003E1560 people \/ (3.14 km\u00b2 * 6966 people\/km\u00b2) \u2248 7%\u003C\/code\u003E of the population in here.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESeven percent! Plus those who aren\u0027t using hookup apps. Plus those who use a different one. Plus the asexual people.\nPlus the aromantic people. Plus trans people. Plus nonbinary people. Plus all the other queers...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI know, I know. There\u0027s so many unknowns in my process. But!\nFor the purposes of proving in a \u003Cem\u003Esimple and reproducable\u003C\/em\u003E way\nthat the number of queers is orders of magnitude higher than what some homophobes are claiming\n\u2013 I think this process does a great job, doesn\u0027t it?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI never would have thought that one day I\u0027ll be using hookup apps not to hook up,\nbut to do maths and to fight for human rights \ud83d\ude05\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Chr\/\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022small\u0022\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022#ftn-ref-1\u0022 id=\u0022ftn-1\u0022\u003E\u003Csup\u003E[1]\u003C\/sup\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E Well, ok, not everyone... there\u0027s still a lot of places where queers have to stay so deep in the closet that using apps might not help...\u003Cbr\/\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["dating","estimation","lgbtq","maths","online dating","statistics","queer","homophobia"],"hasMore":true,"image":"https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/romeo-calculator_small.png","introLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/romeo-calculator_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/romeo-calculator_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022259.58041958042\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThis post is not about gays. It\u0027s about maths.\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/romeo-calculator_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/romeo-calculator_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022259.58041958042\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThis post is not about gays. It\u0027s about maths.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESome guy online told me that queers don\u0027t deserve rights (or at least the attention of lawmakers),\nbecause they make up only 0.03% of the population. Which is ridiculous.\nBoth the argumentation, and the number itself. Human rights are inherent and inviolable,\nhuman dignity doesn\u0027t depend on numbers of specific minoritiesed groups.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut it shows how important it is to properly estimate how many queer people are there in society.\nUsually, homophobes are trying to prove it\u0027s as low as 0.5% to make homosexuality sound like an aberration,\nsome totally marginal oddity that can be ignored, laughed at or hated.\nMeanwhile, \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.out.com\/news-opinion\/2016\/3\/11\/less-50-teens-identify-straight-says-new-study\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E some studies go as high as 52%\u003C\/a\u003E!\nThat\u0027s a number that should make every homophobic politician worry about their reelection\nunless they change their hateful policies. Where are such huge discrepancies coming from?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThis study treated sexual orientation as a spectrum, and not just gay\/bi\/straight.\n52% is the number of people who say they aren\u0027t 100% straight.\nAlso, it\u0027s among teenagers in the US, which shows that younger people\nin countries where the taboo on homosexuality is lower are more open\nto embrace their queer side and to admit it in a questionnaire.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut let\u0027s come back to that ridiculous figure of 0.03%.\nIf it were true, that would mean there\u0027s only 12 000 queers in Poland\n\u2013 while last year\u0027s \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/paradarownosci\/\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E Equality Parade\u003C\/a\u003E\ngathered around 50 000 people attending in Warsaw alone.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat would also make my hometown of Szczecin, population 400k,\na home to just 120 gays, bisexuals, lesbians and trans people.\nAssuming half of them are female and like a third is a proper age\n\u2014 my dating pool would have been just 30 people.\nI probably slept with more than that before I\u0027d moved out of the city.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELooking at my high school class, there were 4 people (out of 28) that I know to be LGBTQ\n(and probably some more that I don\u0027t know about), making it around 14%.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut neither of those methods of trying to estimate this number from my personal experience\nhas even a hint of scientific rigour. Most importantly, the sample sizes are laughably small,\nmaking them not representative at all.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EProper scientific studies, albeit probably pretty reliable, are easily dismissed by homophobes\n\u2013 those surveys were done by some random people they don\u0027t trust,\nthe respondends didn\u0027t have to tell the truth about their orientation, etc. etc.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut I think I came up with a way to very roughly estimate the number of gay, lesbian and bisexual people\nthat everyone\u003Ca href=\u0022#ftn-1\u0022 id=\u0022ftn-ref-1\u0022\u003E\u003Csup\u003E[1]\u003C\/sup\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\ncan do for themselves and see with their own eyes that there\u0027s a lot of us.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI went on \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.planetromeo.com\/\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E PlanetRomeo\u003C\/a\u003E,\na very popular gay hookup app that shows you profiles of other guys sorted by distance.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI scrolled down until the 780\u003Csup\u003Eth\u003C\/sup\u003E person until I\u0027ve reached the first person to be \u201c1 km away\u201d.\nThis means that in a circle with the area of \u03c0r\u00b2 = 3.14 km\u00b2 there are at least 780 gays and bisexual guys\n(and probably some girls, and trans people, and couples with a joint account\n\u2013 but those numbers should be neglectable for the purpose of this rough estimation).\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s hard to estimate, how many gays in here use this particular app, how many use a different one,\nhow many use multiple, and how many don\u0027t use any... \u2014 so keep in mind that 780 is the lowest estimate.\nIn the radius of 1 km from me there are \u003Cem\u003Eat least\u003C\/em\u003E 780 guys, actively looking for another guy to meet.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI think it\u0027s safe to assume that the number of lesbians and bisexual girls would be similar, if not higher\n(studies suggest girls tend to be more bisexual than guys, which makes it a low estimate as well),\nso let\u0027s double our number: there\u0027s at the very least 1560 queer people in the 3.14 km\u00b2 area around me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe population density of the district I live in is 6966 people\/km\u00b2.\nThat means queers are at the very least \u003Ccode\u003E1560 people \/ (3.14 km\u00b2 * 6966 people\/km\u00b2) \u2248 7%\u003C\/code\u003E of the population in here.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESeven percent! Plus those who aren\u0027t using hookup apps. Plus those who use a different one. Plus the asexual people.\nPlus the aromantic people. Plus trans people. Plus nonbinary people. Plus all the other queers...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI know, I know. There\u0027s so many unknowns in my process. But!\nFor the purposes of proving in a \u003Cem\u003Esimple and reproducable\u003C\/em\u003E way\nthat the number of queers is orders of magnitude higher than what some homophobes are claiming\n\u2013 I think this process does a great job, doesn\u0027t it?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI never would have thought that one day I\u0027ll be using hookup apps not to hook up,\nbut to do maths and to fight for human rights \ud83d\ude05\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Chr\/\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022small\u0022\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022#ftn-ref-1\u0022 id=\u0022ftn-1\u0022\u003E\u003Csup\u003E[1]\u003C\/sup\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E Well, ok, not everyone... there\u0027s still a lot of places where queers have to stay so deep in the closet that using apps might not help...\u003Cbr\/\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E","words":791,"readTime":4,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/society\/too-queer-to-represent-queers":{"key":"blog\/society\/too-queer-to-represent-queers","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2019-12-15T17:21:28+01:00","publishedAt":"2019-12-16T22:36:00+01:00","group":"nonbinary","category":"blog","subcategory":"society","slug":"too-queer-to-represent-queers"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"too-queer-to-represent-queers","title":"Too queer to represent queers?","intro":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022720\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022720\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s sad, being a member of a minoritised community and seeing some of its members turn against the others. Like in case of that \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E twitter discussion\u003C\/a\u003E on whether or not \u201cweird looking\u201d people and \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/blog\/too-queer-to-represent-queers\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E drag queens\u003C\/a\u003E should be allowed to represent us, or even mention publicly that they are queer, for fear of giving us a bad reputation.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be that asshole who answers \u201cno\u201d to this question.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022600\u0022 height=\u0022900\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022600\u0022 height=\u0022900\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\n                        \u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E\n                        twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\n                    \u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s sad, being a member of a minoritised community and seeing some of its members turn against the others. Like in case of that \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E twitter discussion\u003C\/a\u003E on whether or not \u201cweird looking\u201d people and \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/blog\/too-queer-to-represent-queers\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E drag queens\u003C\/a\u003E should be allowed to represent us, or even mention publicly that they are queer, for fear of giving us a bad reputation.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be that asshole who answers \u201cno\u201d to this question.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be \u003Cem\u003Ethat\u003C\/em\u003E gay guy who thought that those \u201ceffeminate\u201d of us shouldn\u2019t really talk loud about their homosexuality \u2013 cause they would only strengthen the stereotypes and make the lives of \u201cus, normal gays\u201d harder to live.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be \u003Cem\u003Ethat\u003C\/em\u003E gay guy who enjoyed drag queen shows and who liked his queen friends personally, but who advocated against them being in drag when they represent the whole LGBTQ+ movement to the rest of the world. I didn\u2019t want the world to think that \u003Cem\u003Eall\u003C\/em\u003E of us are like this.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt was so wrong of me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBecause our strength comes from diversity. Because our fight doesn\u2019t make sense if we only fight to be safe, and not for the ability to be ourselves. Because our fight doesn\u2019t make sense if we don\u2019t fight for \u003Cem\u003Eall\u003C\/em\u003E of us.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI wasn\u2019t just restricting others \u2013 most of all, I was restricting myself. I\u2019m a nonbinary person, but I\u2019ve spent a huge chunk of my life \u003Cem\u003Epretending\u003C\/em\u003E to be a man, instead of living a fabulous life free of gender norms. All just to make some bigots more \u003Cem\u003Ecomfortable with my existence\u003C\/em\u003E. Well, fuck them.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf you want to make the oppressed shape themselves in a way that the oppressor wants them to, you\u2019re playing by their rules, and you\u2019ve already lost. You\u2019re working towards a \u201ccompromise\u201d between bigotry and being oneself, between hatred and happiness \u2013 a compromise that makes everyone unhappy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYou\u2019re valid just the way you are. \u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf you\u2019re really worrying so much about the \u003Cem\u003Eimage\u003C\/em\u003E of the community, show the world an image of queer people coming together hand in hand, as \u201cstrange\u201d as they might be, united in diversity \u2013 and not fighting each other who\u2019s the \u003Cem\u003Eright amount of gay\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["acceptance","aliens","being yourself","bigotry","expression","fight","gender norms","inclusivity","lgbtq","non-binary","nonbinary","queer","representation","transgender","weird"],"hasMore":true,"image":"https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_small.png","introLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022360\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s sad, being a member of a minoritised community and seeing some of its members turn against the others. Like in case of that \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E twitter discussion\u003C\/a\u003E on whether or not \u201cweird looking\u201d people and \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/blog\/too-queer-to-represent-queers\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E drag queens\u003C\/a\u003E should be allowed to represent us, or even mention publicly that they are queer, for fear of giving us a bad reputation.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be that asshole who answers \u201cno\u201d to this question.\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022360\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csmall\u003Etwitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u003C\/small\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s sad, being a member of a minoritised community and seeing some of its members turn against the others. Like in case of that \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E twitter discussion\u003C\/a\u003E on whether or not \u201cweird looking\u201d people and \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/blog\/too-queer-to-represent-queers\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E drag queens\u003C\/a\u003E should be allowed to represent us, or even mention publicly that they are queer, for fear of giving us a bad reputation.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be that asshole who answers \u201cno\u201d to this question.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be \u003Cem\u003Ethat\u003C\/em\u003E gay guy who thought that those \u201ceffeminate\u201d of us shouldn\u2019t really talk loud about their homosexuality \u2013 cause they would only strengthen the stereotypes and make the lives of \u201cus, normal gays\u201d harder to live.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be \u003Cem\u003Ethat\u003C\/em\u003E gay guy who enjoyed drag queen shows and who liked his queen friends personally, but who advocated against them being in drag when they represent the whole LGBTQ+ movement to the rest of the world. I didn\u2019t want the world to think that \u003Cem\u003Eall\u003C\/em\u003E of us are like this.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt was so wrong of me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBecause our strength comes from diversity. Because our fight doesn\u2019t make sense if we only fight to be safe, and not for the ability to be ourselves. Because our fight doesn\u2019t make sense if we don\u2019t fight for \u003Cem\u003Eall\u003C\/em\u003E of us.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI wasn\u2019t just restricting others \u2013 most of all, I was restricting myself. I\u2019m a nonbinary person, but I\u2019ve spent a huge chunk of my life \u003Cem\u003Epretending\u003C\/em\u003E to be a man, instead of living a fabulous life free of gender norms. All just to make some bigots more \u003Cem\u003Ecomfortable with my existence\u003C\/em\u003E. Well, fuck them.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf you want to make the oppressed shape themselves in a way that the oppressor wants them to, you\u2019re playing by their rules, and you\u2019ve already lost. You\u2019re working towards a \u201ccompromise\u201d between bigotry and being oneself, between hatred and happiness \u2013 a compromise that makes everyone unhappy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYou\u2019re valid just the way you are. \u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf you\u2019re really worrying so much about the \u003Cem\u003Eimage\u003C\/em\u003E of the community, show the world an image of queer people coming together hand in hand, as \u201cstrange\u201d as they might be, united in diversity \u2013 and not fighting each other who\u2019s the \u003Cem\u003Eright amount of gay\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E","words":382,"readTime":2,"lang":"en"}}}}}