{"tag":"parenting","articles":{"blog\/life\/treating-children-like-people":{"key":"blog\/life\/treating-children-like-people","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2020-05-23T11:49:32+02:00","publishedAt":"2020-05-23T11:49:32+02:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"life","slug":"treating-children-like-people"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"treating-children-like-people","title":"Treating children like people","intro":"\u003Cp\u003EThere\u0027s plenty of reasons to love Da\u00f0i Freyr\u0027s song\n(and my personal favourite for the 2020 Eurovision win)\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=VFZNvj-HfBU\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E \u201dThink About Things\u201d\u003C\/a\u003E.\nBut the most important reason is this:\nDa\u00f0i is singing about \u003Cem\u003Etreating his child like a human being\u003C\/em\u003E.\nAnd that\u0027s why the song brings me to tears.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cp\u003EThere\u0027s plenty of reasons to love Da\u00f0i Freyr\u0027s song\n(and my personal favourite for the 2020 Eurovision win)\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=VFZNvj-HfBU\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E \u201dThink About Things\u201d\u003C\/a\u003E.\nBut the most important reason is this:\nDa\u00f0i is singing about \u003Cem\u003Etreating his child like a human being\u003C\/em\u003E.\nAnd that\u0027s why the song brings me to tears.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote class=\u0022blockquote ml-4 pl-4 border-left\u0022\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBaby, I can\u0027t wait to know\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nWhat do you think about things\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nBelieve me, I will always be there, so\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nYou can tell me anything and I\u0027ll listen\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYou see: my parents were never eager to learn what I think about things. They already knew what I \u003Cem\u003Ehave to\u003C\/em\u003E think.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey knew I\u0027m gonna be a nice catholic boy that will grow up to love Jesus and marry a woman that they would approve of.\nThey had my whole life planned out for me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EExcept, they didn\u0027t take into account that it\u0027s \u003Cem\u003Emy\u003C\/em\u003E life, not theirs.\nThey ended up with a nonbinary, atheist child who married a man.\nAnd it would\u0027ve been waaaaay easier, both for me and them,\nif they had just accepted the possibility that I won\u0027t grow up to be \u003Cem\u003Ea clone of theirs\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAlmost every bigger problem, every stressful situation, every abusive behaviour of theirs\ncan be traced back to this stupid idea that their goal is not to bring up a person,\nbut to\u2026 well, \u003Cem\u003Eproduce\u003C\/em\u003E more of themselves.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ECan you imagine how hard it was to come out as queer to someone who treats it\nas a \u003Cem\u003Epersonal failure\u003C\/em\u003E (and a personal attack) that they didn\u0027t manage to \u003Cem\u003Emake you\u003C\/em\u003E\nexeactly the same orientation as they are?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOtherwise, they weren\u0027t \u201dactively\u201d homophobic.\nThey weren\u0027t saying ugly shit about gay couples on TV or pro-gay politicians, they just didn\u0027t care at all.\nWhen it came to their own child, though?\nRight after coming out I\u0027ve heard that \u201dthose fags should get their balls cut off\u201d from my own father.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey shamed me for having the second highest grade average in the best high school in the city\n(\u201dwhy not the highest?\u201d), for not having exactly the same skills and interests as they do,\nfor not liking the exact same types of food they do\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAll of that could\u0027ve been avoided, if they just considered me my own person.\nIf I were a stranger, they wouldn\u0027t tell me whom to marry or what to believe in.\nBut, since they gave birth to me, I\u0027m somehow \u003Cem\u003Esupposed to\u003C\/em\u003E be what they want me to.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe thing is, though: I won\u0027t be. I\u0027ll be my own self, sooner or later, whether you like it or not.\nThe only thing you can do about it, is make it harder for all of us.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnother fragment of the song that really moves me is this one:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote class=\u0022blockquote ml-4 pl-4 border-left\u0022\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThough I know I\u2005love\u2005you\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nI find it\u2005hard to see how you feel\u2005about me\u003Cbr\/\u003E\n\u0027Cause I don\u0027t understand you\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nOh, you are yet to learn how to speak\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDa\u00f0i doesn\u0027t assume that his child loves him.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELove and respect are not a given. You have to build a relationship with someone and earn their respect.\nFew things in the world angry me more than people forcing each other to like other people \u201dbecause it\u0027s family\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYeah, no. Blood ties don\u0027t mean shit on their own.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027m way closer to some people unrelated to me than I ever was with anyone of my family. And I\u0027m happy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhat\u0027s very important: it seems like my experience is not an exception, but a rule.\nThink about all those parents who \u003Cem\u003Ehave to\u003C\/em\u003E have a child that becomes a doctor or a lawyer.\nThink about all those fathers who hate their daughters because they \u003Cem\u003Ereally wanted\u003C\/em\u003E a son.\nThing about all those mothers who send their offspring to extracarriculars that they just hate.\nAnd so on, and so forth.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ENot even that! Think about all those people who switch to a bizzarly awful \u201dbaby talk\u201d whenever they see a child.\nWhy the hell do they do that? How do they expect the child to learn to speak like a human,\nif they keep exposing them to a caricature of speach?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThink about parents who hate it when their kids call them by name.\nEvery other person close to them just calls them by their name.\nBut if their \u003Cem\u003Echild\u003C\/em\u003E says something other than mom\/mommy\/dad\/daddy\/whatever, they take great offense.\nAs if the kids were inferior to them.\nNot allowed to call them the way that every other human being calls people close to them.\nIsn\u0027t it strange?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cem\u003EYour child is a human being. Treat them as one.\u003C\/em\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOh well, anyways\u2026 Enjoy the song \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022text-center my-4\u0022\u003E\u003Ciframe width=\u0022640\u0022 height=\u0022360\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/VFZNvj-HfBU\u0022 frameborder=\u00220\u0022 allowfullscreen\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["child","minor","parenting","abuse","parents","childhood","queer"],"hasMore":true,"image":null,"introLite":"\u003Cp\u003EThere\u0027s plenty of reasons to love Da\u00f0i Freyr\u0027s song\n(and my personal favourite for the 2020 Eurovision win)\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=VFZNvj-HfBU\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E \u201dThink About Things\u201d\u003C\/a\u003E.\nBut the most important reason is this:\nDa\u00f0i is singing about \u003Cem\u003Etreating his child like a human being\u003C\/em\u003E.\nAnd that\u0027s why the song brings me to tears.\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cp\u003EThere\u0027s plenty of reasons to love Da\u00f0i Freyr\u0027s song\n(and my personal favourite for the 2020 Eurovision win)\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=VFZNvj-HfBU\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E \u201dThink About Things\u201d\u003C\/a\u003E.\nBut the most important reason is this:\nDa\u00f0i is singing about \u003Cem\u003Etreating his child like a human being\u003C\/em\u003E.\nAnd that\u0027s why the song brings me to tears.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBaby, I can\u0027t wait to know\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nWhat do you think about things\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nBelieve me, I will always be there, so\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nYou can tell me anything and I\u0027ll listen\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYou see: my parents were never eager to learn what I think about things. They already knew what I \u003Cem\u003Ehave to\u003C\/em\u003E think.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey knew I\u0027m gonna be a nice catholic boy that will grow up to love Jesus and marry a woman that they would approve of.\nThey had my whole life planned out for me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EExcept, they didn\u0027t take into account that it\u0027s \u003Cem\u003Emy\u003C\/em\u003E life, not theirs.\nThey ended up with a nonbinary, atheist child who married a man.\nAnd it would\u0027ve been waaaaay easier, both for me and them,\nif they had just accepted the possibility that I won\u0027t grow up to be \u003Cem\u003Ea clone of theirs\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAlmost every bigger problem, every stressful situation, every abusive behaviour of theirs\ncan be traced back to this stupid idea that their goal is not to bring up a person,\nbut to\u2026 well, \u003Cem\u003Eproduce\u003C\/em\u003E more of themselves.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ECan you imagine how hard it was to come out as queer to someone who treats it\nas a \u003Cem\u003Epersonal failure\u003C\/em\u003E (and a personal attack) that they didn\u0027t manage to \u003Cem\u003Emake you\u003C\/em\u003E\nexeactly the same orientation as they are?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOtherwise, they weren\u0027t \u201dactively\u201d homophobic.\nThey weren\u0027t saying ugly shit about gay couples on TV or pro-gay politicians, they just didn\u0027t care at all.\nWhen it came to their own child, though?\nRight after coming out I\u0027ve heard that \u201dthose fags should get their balls cut off\u201d from my own father.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey shamed me for having the second highest grade average in the best high school in the city\n(\u201dwhy not the highest?\u201d), for not having exactly the same skills and interests as they do,\nfor not liking the exact same types of food they do\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAll of that could\u0027ve been avoided, if they just considered me my own person.\nIf I were a stranger, they wouldn\u0027t tell me whom to marry or what to believe in.\nBut, since they gave birth to me, I\u0027m somehow \u003Cem\u003Esupposed to\u003C\/em\u003E be what they want me to.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe thing is, though: I won\u0027t be. I\u0027ll be my own self, sooner or later, whether you like it or not.\nThe only thing you can do about it, is make it harder for all of us.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnother fragment of the song that really moves me is this one:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThough I know I\u2005love\u2005you\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nI find it\u2005hard to see how you feel\u2005about me\u003Cbr\/\u003E\n\u0027Cause I don\u0027t understand you\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nOh, you are yet to learn how to speak\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDa\u00f0i doesn\u0027t assume that his child loves him.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELove and respect are not a given. You have to build a relationship with someone and earn their respect.\nFew things in the world angry me more than people forcing each other to like other people \u201dbecause it\u0027s family\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYeah, no. Blood ties don\u0027t mean shit on their own.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027m way closer to some people unrelated to me than I ever was with anyone of my family. And I\u0027m happy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhat\u0027s very important: it seems like my experience is not an exception, but a rule.\nThink about all those parents who \u003Cem\u003Ehave to\u003C\/em\u003E have a child that becomes a doctor or a lawyer.\nThink about all those fathers who hate their daughters because they \u003Cem\u003Ereally wanted\u003C\/em\u003E a son.\nThing about all those mothers who send their offspring to extracarriculars that they just hate.\nAnd so on, and so forth.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ENot even that! Think about all those people who switch to a bizzarly awful \u201dbaby talk\u201d whenever they see a child.\nWhy the hell do they do that? How do they expect the child to learn to speak like a human,\nif they keep exposing them to a caricature of speach?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThink about parents who hate it when their kids call them by name.\nEvery other person close to them just calls them by their name.\nBut if their \u003Cem\u003Echild\u003C\/em\u003E says something other than mom\/mommy\/dad\/daddy\/whatever, they take great offense.\nAs if the kids were inferior to them.\nNot allowed to call them the way that every other human being calls people close to them.\nIsn\u0027t it strange?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cem\u003EYour child is a human being. Treat them as one.\u003C\/em\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOh well, anyways\u2026 Enjoy the song \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022text-center my-4\u0022\u003E\u003Ciframe width=\u0022640\u0022 height=\u0022360\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/VFZNvj-HfBU\u0022 frameborder=\u00220\u0022 allowfullscreen\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E","words":771,"readTime":4,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/society\/i-baked-a-cake":{"key":"blog\/society\/i-baked-a-cake","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2018-08-27T09:52:22+02:00","publishedAt":"2018-08-27T09:52:00+02:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"society","slug":"i-baked-a-cake"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"i-baked-a-cake","title":"I baked a cake.","intro":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/ciasto_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Radiowe Nutki - Naj\u0142atwiejsze ciasto w \u015bwiecie\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022268.57744994731\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/ciasto_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Radiowe Nutki - Naj\u0142atwiejsze ciasto w \u015bwiecie\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022268.57744994731\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI baked a cake. It wasn\u2019t hard, it wasn\u2019t impressive, I don\u2019t have a picture to share, I\u2019m not planning to use this recipe ever again or even to eat it whole.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut still, it was quite an important cake for me.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/ciasto_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Radiowe Nutki - Naj\u0142atwiejsze ciasto w \u015bwiecie\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022949\u0022 height=\u0022531\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACQAAAAUCAYAAADlep81AAAACXBIWXMAAA7EAAAOxAGVKw4bAAAF+ElEQVRIicWWS4+VWRWGn335rud+qupAHZpLVdIIrUQTEBO8jYxxZIyDTvwLOvIX+F90aMKEoFGnPcDYbdPS0FVQUBwsOAVFnfv5bvviACQtVSqOfIdrsp6s9117bdHpdHyWZfxTYRhy4St9Op0+jwefYStDWVZEEpQW7I8tUgm0ltQjaIdQGU\/lBQiJDGOUs0jpcdZhnSfVGqUls9mS0ksqC7kVjMYlb0tnWUae528K3nsm0ymDpwO8d1Slw9iKZiSQBWSFRwqP1ppWo0PcVohlxcv9MUoprp3fQJQVH93bxljPWq3G+RNt9rMFT\/Yr8qLECUUURP\/S9w3QkYoQlNYCnrIssUaQBooIx7QS+NfQrUZKtxWwttIgr1VcuXiZzVMrPH02YHuwR1rTSA\/desQ8y3g+HGGdwVmBlZ55fnQ6xwIJ4cFYklhhHQghCAOJBzLzygIEjCZzTnQizvfXUVJwqtfm7p\/v8\/75qzRqJxmOfk9dKNxwQY6nsagYCci9R1iPMf5dgQTGOFr1iLQeMh4VKEoWCxBeonEIwDuorGSZG85ufsDzvYLvXPsZodbc++geUSVoGg+zHI0g9I4hAgAlQIpjeZBHCkJgrUMGgizPCUKoRQqlJTrQRFFAWkuIooDxpOTxS8uLIqC1eRYVhmRFwZNnD+mttlnmDguUSuLqCev9BlpKtJRHG7+W0lr\/yhjzphDHMXEk6a42mE4KGs2ERAvObJxikVec23iPssxp1lIuX77C9s4e29s73Nva5vbdO6Tpks5pwdbulOnhAq3BpwEXvnuZvekIaxxlZfBOkB9j27GWeTy91XXWVvpcvXKRM6f6DMcL+g92ORg+Y3qwTzNWBOUILT0\/\/8Uvmc\/nXP\/1bzhY7LK2sUocW967ukE90LRWV9jsSIJSM19N8NS59WDGaPAOWyaEwDlHlhVMZ0v+8vEW2\/cHtFtNbv3xT1S+pCwkoQqYTg6ZT17yuxu\/Zf\/pU+bjKU516fb6hOEtYjGn2zrD5vsfUO5\/zsbpFSaTMWn\/q9wffQaD4X8HApBS0kgTnAVvPRe+\/i0e3v2YRlKR24AzG+cYvTwgSRUf\/vR7KJlwQoXMekM2L52iuZJz+UfXCCrLetwiqYbYmuLzL6bMl0u+cRKyyeLYDB3NlnCAZ3TwnMneFs2a5os7dxk82kEpSb4oeXR\/B0xBr9fl0oVz\/OCH38YnDqErdLng4P4+aw5WhWIyfMLukwHDwxkPBxnLuePW7UeM8ndc+1e2gbc5oVR4U7DSTWnULrLz6XMWE09eGJq1GqvdNjbLCBzUGw1u\/OEetz\/ZYZFZxkVFaV\/vtvOcPNHALwtOdwM+2X1AmMbvNiHvPSAQSMrcEQYJ6+tn2d8bYozDGU8SaFZabZQKmC8KqrLi6eAhovTMFhVBELC2tkq3t8bFS18jimOm45zzZzpUS4OzHv+lzf7Plnlw1iIqR7MeMBsfcuP6dXrdLrNpQV5UeOepJwm1eoPSOIbPhvz98UO0Aucci8JQryWEgSSphbSbDarKMptM8DIAL7DOvSuQRzlPEERYYwgDzcGLfSwe4QVVZQHBfDJFeIW1jtt\/\/ZRsWSBeHTpOpjW+T5efnO7y4286YlGC8SghyfMK4cFbOO6xFjdv3vTuS7RaK7QS1KIA50rSWoPJPKPTabGYHFIUliBQWOPp9bqEQchkMmE2W2K9Aw9pGHJxo0NeCtL6nK3HkBeWehpgjONwvMALMM7zdrSFtdb\/7fYhSgtqqcZ5sNZTVZa11YSqdIwmBVXpXl1wIVBKkKQBs2kJeFrtkKp0ZLnFGo+UgnObDbbujKi3QkxliRJNoxHw4kVOEmuKwpDWQ\/r99CjQi8MZWgYI4dFKo7VgmVXEsSIMFC8Pc8JQ4bCY0mKcJY41OEVpC5SSpHGMEvpVYD00mgGzaYUQ4KwnjBVRpMgyg5SCIrfEsSKK1dtAxj8Y7pKGCQCLIqMWJVTOUZmcetygNBWlKYiDiDhMAE9W5GilcN4jgHpSp11rHhvU\/0XCGOOF+Dd\/gf+D\/gHUcxjkbeaT3AAAAABJRU5ErkJggg==\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/ciasto_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Radiowe Nutki - Naj\u0142atwiejsze ciasto w \u015bwiecie\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022949\u0022 height=\u0022531\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI baked a cake. It wasn\u2019t hard, it wasn\u2019t impressive, I don\u2019t have a picture to share, I\u2019m not planning to use this recipe ever again or even to eat it whole.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut still, it was quite an important cake for me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBack in the kindergarten we\u2019ve learned a song about baking a cake that doubled as a recipe for \u201cthe easiest cake in the world\u201d:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022text-center my-4\u0022\u003E\u003Ciframe width=\u0022640\u0022 height=\u0022360\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/PRx_dzSfK3U\u0022 frameborder=\u00220\u0022 allowfullscreen\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey asked each kid to bring some ingredient (one was responsible for sugar, one for baking powder, etc.), and the next day we were supposed to bake that cake ourselves!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI hope you can imagine how excited a child can get about it. We\u2019re gonna do something yummy! Ourselves! We\u2019re learning things and we\u2019re growing up! So amazing!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI hope you can also imagine how big of a boner-killer it must have been, when my mother heard the song and just said \u201cit won\u2019t work, the proportions are wrong\u201d... She gave me whatever ingredient I needed, but she made me feel like it\u2019s gonna be a disaster, whatever I do.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe cake turned out amazing, as far as I can remember. Although, admittedly, kids have a strange taste, and also: the kindergarten didn\u2019t let us near the oven, we just passed the\ncake to the cooks \u2013 who theoretically could\u2019ve thrown it out and baked a different one.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen I remembered about this song a couple of days ago, I got curious \u2013 is it really a shitty recipe or will it work out after all?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt took me like five minutes to prepare the cake (btw, I replaced the plums with raisins), and it was in fact a child\u2019s a play, a piece of cake, so to say.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe end result was, well... underwhelming. The cake was sweet as hell. Which is exactly how the kids like it, I guess. So basically the song delivered on its promise: the recipe was extremely easy, it produced an edible cake, and it would totally be tons of fun for a child.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat cake-incident is the earliest of cooking-related fuckups of my childhood. I used to hear over and over that \u201cI can\u2019t do this, I can\u2019t do that, I\u2019m not good for anything\u201d... Also, I never actually got taught how to do that (except for making pankakes).\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ETurns out cooking is easy. I\u2019m now an adult totally capable of preparing meals, I didn\u2019t need any extra training to master the \u201cjust follow the instructions\u201d thing. All I needed as a kid was not to be discouraged from trying, that\u2019s it.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo, am I proud that I\u2019ve proved my mother wrong? Not really, she\u2019s probably not gonna read it anyway. The point of it was totally different...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote class=\u0022twitter-tweet\u0022\u003E\u003Cp lang=\u0022en\u0022 dir=\u0022ltr\u0022\u003EAs much as I don\u0026#39;t like children, I\u0026#39;m seriously considering adopting one one day. The more I hear about what crazy shit some parents do, the more I want to give some kid a childhood free of homophobia, racism, gender norms, unreasonable expectations, religion and bigotry...\u003C\/p\u003E\u0026mdash; Avris \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa \ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 \ud83c\udf51 \ud83d\udc63 \u269b (@AvrisIT) \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/AvrisIT\/status\/1032555620250079232?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\u0022\u003EAugust 23, 2018\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E \u003Cscript async src=\u0022https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\u0022 charset=\u0022utf-8\u0022\u003E\u003C\/script\u003E\n\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u2019m considering becoming a parent one day, and those are the kind of memories that push me in that direction. Also all the stories of friends who were disowned for being attracted to a wrong half of the population, or whose parents were drunks, antivaxers, etc.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\n\u003Cp\u003EAs much as me and my husband are terrified of being fully responsible for another human being \u2013 especially one that\u2019s innocent and helpless \u2013 there\u2019s no chance in hell we would be worse parents than most of the actual parents. (And don\u2019t even try suggesting that being gay somehow makes us worse!)\u003C\/p\u003E\n\n\u003Cp\u003ESo yeah, I\u2019m collecting thoughts and memories like those to make sure I know what\u2019s the right thing to do, and what not to do. Keep fingers crossed!\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["baking","cake","cooking","enthusiasm","growing up","parenting"],"hasMore":true,"image":"https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/ciasto_small.png","introLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/ciasto_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/ciasto_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Radiowe Nutki - Naj\u0142atwiejsze ciasto w \u015bwiecie\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022134.28872497366\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI baked a cake. It wasn\u2019t hard, it wasn\u2019t impressive, I don\u2019t have a picture to share, I\u2019m not planning to use this recipe ever again or even to eat it whole.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut still, it was quite an important cake for me.\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/ciasto_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/ciasto_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022Radiowe Nutki - Naj\u0142atwiejsze ciasto w \u015bwiecie\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022134.28872497366\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI baked a cake. It wasn\u2019t hard, it wasn\u2019t impressive, I don\u2019t have a picture to share, I\u2019m not planning to use this recipe ever again or even to eat it whole.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut still, it was quite an important cake for me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBack in the kindergarten we\u2019ve learned a song about baking a cake that doubled as a recipe for \u201cthe easiest cake in the world\u201d:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022text-center my-4\u0022\u003E\u003Ciframe width=\u0022640\u0022 height=\u0022360\u0022 src=\u0022https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/PRx_dzSfK3U\u0022 frameborder=\u00220\u0022 allowfullscreen\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThey asked each kid to bring some ingredient (one was responsible for sugar, one for baking powder, etc.), and the next day we were supposed to bake that cake ourselves!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI hope you can imagine how excited a child can get about it. We\u2019re gonna do something yummy! Ourselves! We\u2019re learning things and we\u2019re growing up! So amazing!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI hope you can also imagine how big of a boner-killer it must have been, when my mother heard the song and just said \u201cit won\u2019t work, the proportions are wrong\u201d... She gave me whatever ingredient I needed, but she made me feel like it\u2019s gonna be a disaster, whatever I do.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe cake turned out amazing, as far as I can remember. Although, admittedly, kids have a strange taste, and also: the kindergarten didn\u2019t let us near the oven, we just passed the\ncake to the cooks \u2013 who theoretically could\u2019ve thrown it out and baked a different one.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen I remembered about this song a couple of days ago, I got curious \u2013 is it really a shitty recipe or will it work out after all?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt took me like five minutes to prepare the cake (btw, I replaced the plums with raisins), and it was in fact a child\u2019s a play, a piece of cake, so to say.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe end result was, well... underwhelming. The cake was sweet as hell. Which is exactly how the kids like it, I guess. So basically the song delivered on its promise: the recipe was extremely easy, it produced an edible cake, and it would totally be tons of fun for a child.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat cake-incident is the earliest of cooking-related fuckups of my childhood. I used to hear over and over that \u201cI can\u2019t do this, I can\u2019t do that, I\u2019m not good for anything\u201d... Also, I never actually got taught how to do that (except for making pankakes).\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ETurns out cooking is easy. I\u2019m now an adult totally capable of preparing meals, I didn\u2019t need any extra training to master the \u201cjust follow the instructions\u201d thing. All I needed as a kid was not to be discouraged from trying, that\u2019s it.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo, am I proud that I\u2019ve proved my mother wrong? Not really, she\u2019s probably not gonna read it anyway. The point of it was totally different...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote class=\u0022twitter-tweet\u0022\u003E\u003Cp lang=\u0022en\u0022 dir=\u0022ltr\u0022\u003EAs much as I don\u0026#39;t like children, I\u0026#39;m seriously considering adopting one one day. The more I hear about what crazy shit some parents do, the more I want to give some kid a childhood free of homophobia, racism, gender norms, unreasonable expectations, religion and bigotry...\u003C\/p\u003E\u0026mdash; Avris \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa \ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 \ud83c\udf51 \ud83d\udc63 \u269b (@AvrisIT) \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/AvrisIT\/status\/1032555620250079232?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\u0022\u003EAugust 23, 2018\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E \u003Cscript async src=\u0022https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\u0022 charset=\u0022utf-8\u0022\u003E\u003C\/script\u003E\n\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u2019m considering becoming a parent one day, and those are the kind of memories that push me in that direction. Also all the stories of friends who were disowned for being attracted to a wrong half of the population, or whose parents were drunks, antivaxers, etc.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\n\u003Cp\u003EAs much as me and my husband are terrified of being fully responsible for another human being \u2013 especially one that\u2019s innocent and helpless \u2013 there\u2019s no chance in hell we would be worse parents than most of the actual parents. (And don\u2019t even try suggesting that being gay somehow makes us worse!)\u003C\/p\u003E\n\n\u003Cp\u003ESo yeah, I\u2019m collecting thoughts and memories like those to make sure I know what\u2019s the right thing to do, and what not to do. Keep fingers crossed!\u003C\/p\u003E","words":653,"readTime":3,"lang":"en"}}}}}