{"tag":"i love you","articles":{"blog\/society\/i-love-you-not-that-big-a-deal":{"key":"blog\/society\/i-love-you-not-that-big-a-deal","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2020-01-17T09:58:30+01:00","publishedAt":"2020-01-17T18:58:30+01:00","group":"love","category":"blog","subcategory":"society","slug":"i-love-you-not-that-big-a-deal"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"i-love-you-not-that-big-a-deal","title":"\u201cI love you\u201d? Not that big a deal \ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffc\u200d","intro":"\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s a very common trope in movies and series: people wondering whether, and when, and how they should say\n\u201cI love you\u201d for the first time to someone they\u0027re dating... people worrying about saying it too early,\nabout the other person not saying it back...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut what if we stopped making such a big deal out of it?\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s a very common trope in movies and series: people wondering whether, and when, and how they should say\n\u201cI love you\u201d for the first time to someone they\u0027re dating... people worrying about saying it too early,\nabout the other person not saying it back...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut what if we stopped making such a big deal out of it?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI mean it\u0027s still quite big. Just not as \u003Cem\u003Ehuuuge\u003C\/em\u003E as it\u0027s often painted.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELet me start with defining what I mean by \u201clove\u201d:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote class=\u0022blockquote ml-4 pl-4 border-left\u0022\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/mi%C5%82o%C5%9B%C4%87-to-nie-uczucie\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-heartbeat\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E Love is not a \u003Cem\u003Efeeling\u003C\/em\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nLove is a \u003Cem\u003Edecision\u003C\/em\u003E to care about someone else\u2018s happiness rather than your own.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhat exactly are you willing to do and how much to sacrifice to make someone happy, is a different story.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWe love plenty of people, in different ways. Remember how Jesus said \u201clove thy neighbour\u201d?\nYou literally love your neighbour when you keep the noise down not to ruin their day.\nYou make a little concession in order not to be a dick towards a fellow human.\nIn my opinion, simple decency is also a kind of love.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOf course, we don\u0027t tell strangers that we love them, why would we?\nBut what about people to whom we\u0027re closer?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u201cI love you\u201d is such an amazing thing to say and to hear!\nBe it between friends, or family members, or romantic partners...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EEven if we only have a single word for \u201clove\u201d, we are familiar with the idea of love meaning different things, aren\u0027t we?\nWe all know that \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Greek_words_for_love\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E ancient Greeks had different names for love\u003C\/a\u003E:\n\u003Cem\u003Eag\u00e1pe\u003C\/em\u003E, \u003Cem\u003E\u00e9ros\u003C\/em\u003E, \u003Cem\u003Ephil\u00eda\u003C\/em\u003E, \u003Cem\u003Ephilautia\u003C\/em\u003E, \u003Cem\u003Estorg\u0113\u003C\/em\u003E, \u003Cem\u003Exenia\u003C\/em\u003E...\nLove is not reserved for \u003Cem\u003Ereally\u003C\/em\u003E serious romantic relationships, is it?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EParents love their children, friends love their friends, people who just started dating love each other,\npeople married for thirty years love each other... All in a different way and with different intensity,\nbut they all decide every day to do things that they don\u0027t necessarily like, in order to make someone else happy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u0027s love.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI dated a guy recently. I knew I loved him, but I\u0027ve never told him that. \u003Cem\u003EOf course\u003C\/em\u003E I loved him.\nBut, well, he didn\u0027t want any commitment whatsoever, and our world sees \u201cI love you\u201d as a huge huuuge commitment.\nWe\u0027ve lived our relationship around that ugly taboo: we can tell each other all kinds of nice things, \u003Cem\u003Ejust not this one\u003C\/em\u003E!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELoving someone, and telling them that you do, doesn\u0027t necessarily mean your relationship\nis committed, not casual, and \u003Cem\u003Esuper\u003C\/em\u003E serious.\nIt just means you care for them, want them to be happy, and are willing to do a lot to make them happy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ETell your friends you love them! \u2764\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["love","i love you","relationship","dating","taboo","feelings"],"hasMore":true,"image":null,"introLite":"\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s a very common trope in movies and series: people wondering whether, and when, and how they should say\n\u201cI love you\u201d for the first time to someone they\u0027re dating... people worrying about saying it too early,\nabout the other person not saying it back...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut what if we stopped making such a big deal out of it?\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s a very common trope in movies and series: people wondering whether, and when, and how they should say\n\u201cI love you\u201d for the first time to someone they\u0027re dating... people worrying about saying it too early,\nabout the other person not saying it back...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut what if we stopped making such a big deal out of it?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI mean it\u0027s still quite big. Just not as \u003Cem\u003Ehuuuge\u003C\/em\u003E as it\u0027s often painted.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELet me start with defining what I mean by \u201clove\u201d:\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cblockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/mi%C5%82o%C5%9B%C4%87-to-nie-uczucie.lite\u0022\u003E Love is not a \u003Cem\u003Efeeling\u003C\/em\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003Cbr\/\u003E\nLove is a \u003Cem\u003Edecision\u003C\/em\u003E to care about someone else\u2018s happiness rather than your own.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhat exactly are you willing to do and how much to sacrifice to make someone happy, is a different story.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWe love plenty of people, in different ways. Remember how Jesus said \u201clove thy neighbour\u201d?\nYou literally love your neighbour when you keep the noise down not to ruin their day.\nYou make a little concession in order not to be a dick towards a fellow human.\nIn my opinion, simple decency is also a kind of love.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EOf course, we don\u0027t tell strangers that we love them, why would we?\nBut what about people to whom we\u0027re closer?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u201cI love you\u201d is such an amazing thing to say and to hear!\nBe it between friends, or family members, or romantic partners...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EEven if we only have a single word for \u201clove\u201d, we are familiar with the idea of love meaning different things, aren\u0027t we?\nWe all know that \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Greek_words_for_love\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E ancient Greeks had different names for love\u003C\/a\u003E:\n\u003Cem\u003Eag\u00e1pe\u003C\/em\u003E, \u003Cem\u003E\u00e9ros\u003C\/em\u003E, \u003Cem\u003Ephil\u00eda\u003C\/em\u003E, \u003Cem\u003Ephilautia\u003C\/em\u003E, \u003Cem\u003Estorg\u0113\u003C\/em\u003E, \u003Cem\u003Exenia\u003C\/em\u003E...\nLove is not reserved for \u003Cem\u003Ereally\u003C\/em\u003E serious romantic relationships, is it?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EParents love their children, friends love their friends, people who just started dating love each other,\npeople married for thirty years love each other... All in a different way and with different intensity,\nbut they all decide every day to do things that they don\u0027t necessarily like, in order to make someone else happy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThat\u0027s love.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI dated a guy recently. I knew I loved him, but I\u0027ve never told him that. \u003Cem\u003EOf course\u003C\/em\u003E I loved him.\nBut, well, he didn\u0027t want any commitment whatsoever, and our world sees \u201cI love you\u201d as a huge huuuge commitment.\nWe\u0027ve lived our relationship around that ugly taboo: we can tell each other all kinds of nice things, \u003Cem\u003Ejust not this one\u003C\/em\u003E!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ELoving someone, and telling them that you do, doesn\u0027t necessarily mean your relationship\nis committed, not casual, and \u003Cem\u003Esuper\u003C\/em\u003E serious.\nIt just means you care for them, want them to be happy, and are willing to do a lot to make them happy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ETell your friends you love them! \u2764\u003C\/p\u003E","words":445,"readTime":2,"lang":"en"}}}}}