{"tag":"expression","articles":{"projects\/sexuality-spectrum":{"key":"projects\/sexuality-spectrum","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2020-01-16T23:48:41+01:00","publishedAt":"2020-01-16T23:48:41+01:00","group":"gender-apps","links":[{"icon":"globe-europe","colour":"primary","url":"https:\/\/spectrum.avris.it","displayUrl":null}],"category":"projects","subcategory":null,"slug":"sexuality-spectrum"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"sexuality-spectrum","title":"Sexuality Spectrum","intro":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/spectrum_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022234.07874015748\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/spectrum_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022234.07874015748\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhere are you on the Sexuality Spectrum?\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/spectrum_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022468.15748031496\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/spectrum_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022960\u0022 height=\u0022468.15748031496\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhere are you on the Sexuality Spectrum?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/spectrum.avris.it\/mz0v\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E (mine here)\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003EDisclaimer:\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027m not the author of the original concept of those axes.\nThey were circulating online in form of a picture without a watermark\n\u2013 making it practically impossible to find the author.\nI just made an interactive version of it, with a few adjustments.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027m aware that this representation of gender \u0026amp; sexuality is not perfect \u2013 but none is!\nHumans are more complex than just a few axes!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYes, us nonbinary folx aren\u0027t necessarily in between \u201cmale\u201d and \u201cfemale\u201d,\nyes, lumping bisexuality and pansexuality together is not ideal, etc. etc. etc.\nBut it\u0027s an approximation. If you come up with a better one, I\u0027d gladly make an app for it \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["gender","identity","expression","sexual","orientation","drive","romantic","desire","relationship","male","nonbinary","female","masculine","feminine","straight","bi","pan","gay","asexual","ace","aromantic","romantic","monogamy","polyamory","vanilla","bdsm","svelte","javascript","js","nodejs"],"hasMore":true,"image":"https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/spectrum_small.png","introLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/spectrum_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/spectrum_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022117.03937007874\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhere are you on the Sexuality Spectrum?\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/spectrum_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/spectrum_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022117.03937007874\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhere are you on the Sexuality Spectrum?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/spectrum.avris.it\/mz0v\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E (mine here)\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003EDisclaimer:\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027m not the author of the original concept of those axes.\nThey were circulating online in form of a picture without a watermark\n\u2013 making it practically impossible to find the author.\nI just made an interactive version of it, with a few adjustments.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027m aware that this representation of gender \u0026amp; sexuality is not perfect \u2013 but none is!\nHumans are more complex than just a few axes!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYes, us nonbinary folx aren\u0027t necessarily in between \u201cmale\u201d and \u201cfemale\u201d,\nyes, lumping bisexuality and pansexuality together is not ideal, etc. etc. etc.\nBut it\u0027s an approximation. If you come up with a better one, I\u0027d gladly make an app for it \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E","words":119,"readTime":null,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/society\/too-queer-to-represent-queers":{"key":"blog\/society\/too-queer-to-represent-queers","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2019-12-15T17:21:28+01:00","publishedAt":"2019-12-16T22:36:00+01:00","group":"nonbinary","category":"blog","subcategory":"society","slug":"too-queer-to-represent-queers"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"too-queer-to-represent-queers","title":"Too queer to represent queers?","intro":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022720\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAABgAAAAkCAYAAACTz\/ouAAAACXBIWXMAAA7EAAAOxAGVKw4bAAAGfklEQVRIia2WTY9cVxGGnzof93b3dE93z0z8OTghBCEFQySUSARYZBGyy4YVYof4AyDxA1jxE1ixYAVLxCICC0WERBBFiIADDpETktieGbvHHnu6p+f2vfd8FIseTzxISYTDK7VaKl1Vnap6q96SRVXpnTf\/zPALF+lurANwEGFYWj4TVAGwzz\/3zZ\/86hc\/RxX22sx0OmVroYwKoVuWiMhD\/QAUcF\/\/1nPs1IZnnnmK4XgNEUFVMWI+UwIighVB7uzt6YcfXmPQ7yMi1E1N4QuqxYJBv8\/+dIpqxhpLTJHhcEhVVTjnSSnR1DX9QZ8YEzFGHnv0Auvr68eBXEoJY4QQA\/1+n4P5Ac55AJq2xXvHYDDg\/LlzlGX5v2eSclYjQggB7z0xRpxzxx80TfNQjo8DxJRUsyJGHtrJxzoXwanC9rWrzBuOaz1cW8Nad9zwsvAYY+h1yhPZfRpSzsg\/\/t3qL\/\/QkEzLEyuZEJWzz464O1d83bD9+1exOiVT8sTjzzE6P8BmsHsZVxr205T9uCBlw2IRmdXC62+dRlX48Q8s7vZ+5u3Lhwyb22xnR\/AFT18csjtL+Fng8p+u4tMElRVm9fP068QKyr+uZF4ohRv9mp28D0mYHkTuzi2\/fnkDRfjeiwanqiTNKBFF0BSWHLaCcUJoA0ZrjAgvX3mN8\/cKduuS1ckWk\/GTnNocs9WJoBnIlCadKJOD5VQrCcSQEoiAChgHIbbY3ODLgm+cWYXNdZ7FsDG6wGo4RQhbBNNiRIgxEk\/6XwbIQCKiKqSUyQJJlyyIKdDkSBM6LOaRzWrMcK2D1Q53NxLv25rFNGJQFq1St7p8oB4HUFSURCZrJKlAVmIEK9DGgMaI1jW7YYsL70GxcYrp5ufRYSKEgnAnoKoctsp8IegDGRgQ1ICqklFSiohCSKAW2hRowyFp+jZNrHlnveDK2pjJasXiyYIbO9fZunWTOiZiTsQc4YEQDgFEaLOQsxJZ1n+6UE6PheyGwJhpd0x9a4v3tm\/y7e\/\/iNFjAIG\/vfI6B\/szxJVsnL+IKzy93oTQdBAzwiFCTIn9u9uYbAms8O7lW0y2I24tkcoVJvEc+81twodXufClp3n0KY\/rOt7542UmuzvkekpWy3R2G4zD21scyg8gFzgBnPOsDM+Q1bNoI49\/9Qz7o8QXT0Uu\/ewuB7NdUnuApEjRHwFCDpm\/v\/pX2rDApADWkpsDSIlY\/BPTPUBZx4iAWIgal40WSElpGzg8bJjPb5K1QlMFJHpeMFnI0wXbb7+L04wYxcQK6l3EZHI+xOm7yyYbWdJRk5BVURVCUBLwl9+8RJhdR2ONQXCaKLqe3CrdN67ww717uFzjii7GZERaRMBIxoQ3lgvvnTdv6m9\/egl3bwuKAknKha+dYe9uzd5rlxBNmNEaEjOLU6e59eJ3eORzm7T39hnfuMm1rkXKDp3xGGsEsQXWOjCW7z7zyFIPYhOW45vz8v9oUuQ+4Y50VnNGrQMUBTQrxhxJ6\/1tf5+hAoUVXIyJ2aLCiMFagwLCcux9b4VJnek5QRVCFowkHh34T13Vs\/khrtdFUsrK\/19rjrITXEiJSbXHwPcopMDa5T10X0JTzkez+NE5ct92XJ6PQwI3bxfsXH2F\/RvXWXvsBZq2ZXUwYHd2SKfbYzAc4fyyJAOrdMuCmBLeO1a63U\/0H2JEqrrV2d4tZrvXyINNmrYlpUQUh\/EeNCNiSFkZdxyaE8YY6rqhKPzyhjIGRLDGUFUV1jq8d5w9e3YZIKSEs5bJZELKmRgizlnOnTv3UPWPMQLgnOOEgvf6AzplgX9A2OumAYROWZxwMpsfUhaesvjIvqhriqI4cRhIG6LGqsZ2yo89XaqQ6Diz3CufgCXFT8KZrOxceonVRza5c2YNFFJKOO+IMWGtYbfc4OIwEbMHFGsdddOwPhoym89x1jJaHWCMOWYaHDW5jkl\/9951RoMh6\/d2sNZSVRXee7wvaJoakCNKKjEmisITQqDwBW1o8d4jCClnCu8JMVBVC75y8cvLVZFSxjvL+x98gPeeuq6Xx26MIBzPxolyZCXESFkWpLRU+pzz8fm5vrbGaDQ+2eSiKGjbll63h6pSlMXypUVBiomyLJcUThFrLb2jS6IsS2IInD59mk6nc\/IlKWdtQ1RV1dnBXOum1QdRLWpd1I3+N9qX39J8WJ+wzauFxphO2CTnrFkV+2lj\/5D4D3Sp1EZG637hAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_small.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border-bottom\u0022 width=\u0022480\u0022 height=\u0022720\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s sad, being a member of a minoritised community and seeing some of its members turn against the others. Like in case of that \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E twitter discussion\u003C\/a\u003E on whether or not \u201cweird looking\u201d people and \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/blog\/too-queer-to-represent-queers\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E drag queens\u003C\/a\u003E should be allowed to represent us, or even mention publicly that they are queer, for fear of giving us a bad reputation.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be that asshole who answers \u201cno\u201d to this question.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\n                \u003Cnoscript\u003E\n                    \u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022600\u0022 height=\u0022900\u0022\u003E                \n                \u003C\/noscript\u003E\n                \u003Cspan class=\u0022hide-noscript\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022data:image\/png;base64,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\u0022 data-src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_big.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 class=\u0022border\u0022 width=\u0022600\u0022 height=\u0022900\u0022\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\n                \u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\n                        \u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E\n                        twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\n                    \u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\n            \u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s sad, being a member of a minoritised community and seeing some of its members turn against the others. Like in case of that \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E twitter discussion\u003C\/a\u003E on whether or not \u201cweird looking\u201d people and \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/blog\/too-queer-to-represent-queers\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E drag queens\u003C\/a\u003E should be allowed to represent us, or even mention publicly that they are queer, for fear of giving us a bad reputation.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be that asshole who answers \u201cno\u201d to this question.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be \u003Cem\u003Ethat\u003C\/em\u003E gay guy who thought that those \u201ceffeminate\u201d of us shouldn\u2019t really talk loud about their homosexuality \u2013 cause they would only strengthen the stereotypes and make the lives of \u201cus, normal gays\u201d harder to live.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be \u003Cem\u003Ethat\u003C\/em\u003E gay guy who enjoyed drag queen shows and who liked his queen friends personally, but who advocated against them being in drag when they represent the whole LGBTQ+ movement to the rest of the world. I didn\u2019t want the world to think that \u003Cem\u003Eall\u003C\/em\u003E of us are like this.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt was so wrong of me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBecause our strength comes from diversity. Because our fight doesn\u2019t make sense if we only fight to be safe, and not for the ability to be ourselves. Because our fight doesn\u2019t make sense if we don\u2019t fight for \u003Cem\u003Eall\u003C\/em\u003E of us.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI wasn\u2019t just restricting others \u2013 most of all, I was restricting myself. I\u2019m a nonbinary person, but I\u2019ve spent a huge chunk of my life \u003Cem\u003Epretending\u003C\/em\u003E to be a man, instead of living a fabulous life free of gender norms. All just to make some bigots more \u003Cem\u003Ecomfortable with my existence\u003C\/em\u003E. Well, fuck them.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf you want to make the oppressed shape themselves in a way that the oppressor wants them to, you\u2019re playing by their rules, and you\u2019ve already lost. You\u2019re working towards a \u201ccompromise\u201d between bigotry and being oneself, between hatred and happiness \u2013 a compromise that makes everyone unhappy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYou\u2019re valid just the way you are. \u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf you\u2019re really worrying so much about the \u003Cem\u003Eimage\u003C\/em\u003E of the community, show the world an image of queer people coming together hand in hand, as \u201cstrange\u201d as they might be, united in diversity \u2013 and not fighting each other who\u2019s the \u003Cem\u003Eright amount of gay\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["acceptance","aliens","being yourself","bigotry","expression","fight","gender norms","inclusivity","lgbtq","non-binary","nonbinary","queer","representation","transgender","weird"],"hasMore":true,"image":"https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_small.png","introLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022360\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s sad, being a member of a minoritised community and seeing some of its members turn against the others. Like in case of that \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E twitter discussion\u003C\/a\u003E on whether or not \u201cweird looking\u201d people and \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/blog\/too-queer-to-represent-queers\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E drag queens\u003C\/a\u003E should be allowed to represent us, or even mention publicly that they are queer, for fear of giving us a bad reputation.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be that asshole who answers \u201cno\u201d to this question.\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cfigure\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_big.png\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/image\/lgbalien_mini.png\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022 width=\u0022240\u0022 height=\u0022360\u0022 loading=\u0022lazy\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cfigcaption\u003E\n                    \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csmall\u003Etwitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u003C\/small\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n                \u003C\/figcaption\u003E\u003C\/figure\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s sad, being a member of a minoritised community and seeing some of its members turn against the others. Like in case of that \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/twitter.com\/natancombigirl\/status\/1205554427324719106\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E twitter discussion\u003C\/a\u003E on whether or not \u201cweird looking\u201d people and \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/avris.it\/blog\/too-queer-to-represent-queers\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E drag queens\u003C\/a\u003E should be allowed to represent us, or even mention publicly that they are queer, for fear of giving us a bad reputation.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be that asshole who answers \u201cno\u201d to this question.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be \u003Cem\u003Ethat\u003C\/em\u003E gay guy who thought that those \u201ceffeminate\u201d of us shouldn\u2019t really talk loud about their homosexuality \u2013 cause they would only strengthen the stereotypes and make the lives of \u201cus, normal gays\u201d harder to live.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI used to be \u003Cem\u003Ethat\u003C\/em\u003E gay guy who enjoyed drag queen shows and who liked his queen friends personally, but who advocated against them being in drag when they represent the whole LGBTQ+ movement to the rest of the world. I didn\u2019t want the world to think that \u003Cem\u003Eall\u003C\/em\u003E of us are like this.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt was so wrong of me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBecause our strength comes from diversity. Because our fight doesn\u2019t make sense if we only fight to be safe, and not for the ability to be ourselves. Because our fight doesn\u2019t make sense if we don\u2019t fight for \u003Cem\u003Eall\u003C\/em\u003E of us.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI wasn\u2019t just restricting others \u2013 most of all, I was restricting myself. I\u2019m a nonbinary person, but I\u2019ve spent a huge chunk of my life \u003Cem\u003Epretending\u003C\/em\u003E to be a man, instead of living a fabulous life free of gender norms. All just to make some bigots more \u003Cem\u003Ecomfortable with my existence\u003C\/em\u003E. Well, fuck them.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf you want to make the oppressed shape themselves in a way that the oppressor wants them to, you\u2019re playing by their rules, and you\u2019ve already lost. You\u2019re working towards a \u201ccompromise\u201d between bigotry and being oneself, between hatred and happiness \u2013 a compromise that makes everyone unhappy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYou\u2019re valid just the way you are. \u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf you\u2019re really worrying so much about the \u003Cem\u003Eimage\u003C\/em\u003E of the community, show the world an image of queer people coming together hand in hand, as \u201cstrange\u201d as they might be, united in diversity \u2013 and not fighting each other who\u2019s the \u003Cem\u003Eright amount of gay\u003C\/em\u003E.\u003C\/p\u003E","words":382,"readTime":2,"lang":"en"}}},"blog\/life\/i-love-being-gay":{"key":"blog\/life\/i-love-being-gay","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2017-05-10T17:54:09+02:00","publishedAt":"2017-05-12T10:00:00+02:00","group":null,"category":"blog","subcategory":"life","slug":"i-love-being-gay"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"i-love-being-gay","title":"I love being gay!","intro":"\u003Cp\u003EBeing gay is not easy. Depending on where you live, it might mean different things to you. Best case scenario \u2013 some minor inconveniences. Worst case \u2013 even danger of death. \u003Ca href=\u0022\/tag\/lgbtq\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-tag\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E LGBTQ\u003C\/a\u003E youth has a higher suicide rate than their straight \u0026amp; cis friends, they fear getting disowned by their families, thrown out of their homes, in some countries being sentenced to prison or lashes... We don\u2019t have equal rights, we can\u2019t always show affection in public. Being gay can be scary, lonely and awful.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut there is also a good side to that. The side of being gay that I really really love!\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cp\u003EBeing gay is not easy. Depending on where you live, it might mean different things to you. Best case scenario \u2013 some minor inconveniences. Worst case \u2013 even danger of death. \u003Ca href=\u0022\/tag\/lgbtq\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-tag\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E LGBTQ\u003C\/a\u003E youth has a higher suicide rate than their straight \u0026amp; cis friends, they fear getting disowned by their families, thrown out of their homes, in some countries being sentenced to prison or lashes... We don\u2019t have equal rights, we can\u2019t always show affection in public. Being gay can be scary, lonely and awful.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut there is also a good side to that. The side of being gay that I really really love!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EEquality and freedom to be yourself\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen I see a straight couple on a date, most of the time the guy seems nervous: he plans the whole thing, he tries to impress the girl, he bares responsibility for the date to work out well. She, on the other hand, is more passive, just enjoying his efforts.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen I hear about family problems of straight couples, they often concern the division of household chores or generally the traditional gender roles. The wife is expected to sacrifice her career for the children and the household, while the husband is expected to heroically protect the family from every danger.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd almost nobody seems to be happy with that. Girls, who try to impress a guy or want to ask him out, often feel strange, inappropriate. And some guys might be shy and prefer to be approached by a girl, or might not like the burden of organising their dates. Girls might want to focus on their careers, guys might need the privilege of being cowardly...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EGays, on the other hand, can be so \u003Cstrong\u003Eflexible\u003C\/strong\u003E in all of that! Who reels up the the other? Well, whoever\u2019s brave enough. Who organises the dates? Whoever feels like it, or whoever has a nice idea, or we just do it together. Who does the chores? We just split it, so that everybody does, what they do best. If both of you are the man or the woman, then you don\u2019t have to \u201cbe the man in this relationship\u201d or wonder \u201cwhat should I do as a woman?\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u2019m not saying straight couples cannot have such \u003Ca href=\u0022\/tag\/equality\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-tag\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E equality\u003C\/a\u003E and \u003Ca href=\u0022\/tag\/freedom\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-tag\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E freedom\u003C\/a\u003E to be yourself, as same-sex couples do. That would be \u003Cstrong\u003Estereotypical, plain stupid and simply not true\u003C\/strong\u003E. They obviously can, and I know many that do. But you\u2019ve got to admit, the overall trend of equality in a relationship and the general expectations from the society in that matter look way better for same-sex couples, don\u2019t they?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EViews\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EA girl meets a boy: he\u2019s nice, interesting, handsome and strong. She falls in love with him. Well, at least until they talk about politics for the first time. Then it turns out that her prince charming is actually a nationalistic fucktard, he\u2019s hateful towards other nations and skin colours, he wants to let the refugees die in the war zone...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EObviously, \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/how-come-you-don-t-like-a-gay-jew\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-people-carry\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E gays also can be right-wing extremists\u003C\/a\u003E, but statistically I would expect much lower percentage of such people among the LGBTQ community. Why? We can sympathise with \u003Cstrong\u003Eminorities\u003C\/strong\u003E, because we are a minority ourselves. We\u2019ve been hurt by inequality, so we have a lot of determination to fight against it. Our common suffering unites us and makes us stronger.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ECommunity\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhich brings me to the awesomeness of the LGBTQ community in general. My first time in a gay bar was an amazing, unforgettable experience, even though nothing special actually happened. But it was just \u003Cstrong\u003Eso open\u003C\/strong\u003E!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EObviously, that\u2019s a huge generalisation, but you know... In a gay bar, during a pride parade or in some LGBTQ association, as long as you share the same values, you can \u003Cstrong\u003Efeel welcome\u003C\/strong\u003E, you can \u003Cstrong\u003Ebe yourself\u003C\/strong\u003E and not be judged for that, you can \u003Cstrong\u003Efeel safe\u003C\/strong\u003E and wanted. It\u2019s just so warm and friendly! You can be on first name terms with everybody by default (even in Poland or Germany, where \u201cDu\u201d and \u201cSie\u201d thingy is quite a big deal).\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe Community is like a huge, worldwide family for me. I cried after the massacre in \u003Ca href=\u0022\/tag\/orlando\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-tag\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E Orlando\u003C\/a\u003E as if I\u2019d lost really close friends \u2013 even though I didn\u2019t know those people. After my biological family rejected me, it\u2019s the misfits of the LGBTQ community that made me feel at home again.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EOnline dating\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EFor a shy guy like me online dating is quite a big deal. Remember all the jokes in the sitcoms about couples being ashamed that they\u2019ve met online and coming up with some fake \u201chow we met\u201d stories? This shows a stigma around the topic. As if it was a \u003Cem\u003Eworse\u003C\/em\u003E way to meet someone. If anything, it\u2019s better in many ways. Like being able to get to know someone\u2019s interests and character (and not just their looks) from their profile before even talking to them \u2013 you can\u2019t see any of that when you\u2019re saying hello to a stranger in a bar.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESure, now in the age of Tinder\u2019s popularity, that stigma is getting smaller and smaller. But nevertheless: I\u2019m happy to be part of a community, where meeting your boyfriend or your hookup on the Internet is not a big deal, but practically a default.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ESex\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EEver wondered, why sex-related jokes about gays are almost always about us doing anal (\u201dhaha, they fuck in the shithole!\u201d) or about straight guys\u2019 irrational fears that we would rape them (\u201dI\u2019ll sleep on this side, otherwise you\u2019d fuck me, faggot, hehe...\u201d)? Well, yeah, we do anal, and it\u2019s awesome, what\u2019s your point? And no, gay \u2260 rapist, and if you\u2019d joke about that, it probably means that\u2019s the way you\u2019d treat a woman in a similar situation...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMeanwhile, in sit-coms, standups etc. I keep hearing jokes about guys constantly underperforming in bed, finishing after 3 minutes, refusing to go down on a girl while demanding a blowjob for themselves, being generally boring and self-absorbed in bed... I might think they\u2019re just jokes, but then I keep hearing complaints about precisely that from my straight female friends about their boyfriends.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESeems like many straight guys don\u2019t experiment with their bodies, as if their cock was their only sex organ and a woman was basically just a toy for their wank. Getting your nipples stimulated, your armpits or asshole licked, etc. etc., that feels so amazing! Your G-spot is your prostate, and if you don\u2019t play with it for fear that \u201cit\u2019s gay\u201d, you\u2019re just missing out. Licking other people\u2019s bodies can be so hot as well...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EFrom what I hear, many straight people divide sex into foreplay and penetration. Penetration is what a guy really wants, while foreplay is what he is willing to do, reluctantly, to be allowed to get to the penetration. And gays? Seriously, I don\u2019t remember the last time I even used the word \u201cforeplay\u201d. It\u2019s all just sex. It\u2019s all awesome. Did you know that most of the time we don\u2019t even fuck in the ass during sex? Anal requires preparation, douching, status talk, condoms, lube, etc., meanwhile everything else is almost just as good, so why bother that much every time?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u201cSeducing a straight guy\u201d is quite a common theme in gay porn. But I don\u2019t really get that phantasy. If the majority of straight guys is really the way standuppers, sitcoms, jokes and their own partners say they are in bed, well... I\u2019m just glad that there are only gay\/bi guys in my bed.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EAnd so much more...\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI don\u2019t have to worry about getting someone \u003Cstrong\u003Epregnant\u003C\/strong\u003E. Or about my country trying to restrict access to \u003Cstrong\u003Econtraception and abortion\u003C\/strong\u003E (although \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/schwarzermontag\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-people-carry\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E I am fighting\u003C\/a\u003E for others\u2019 right to use them). I won\u2019t end up in a marriage where we don\u2019t actually want to be together, but we just ended up with an unwanted pregnancy and decided it\u2019s best for the baby... If I share my clothes and underwear with my boyfriend, my wardrobe becomes twice as big. There are so many things I don\u2019t really think about every day, but when they do come up, I can\u2019t help but think \u201cthank goddess I\u2019m gay!\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo if I were born straight, I guess I\u2019d be trying to be as \u201cgay\u201d as possible anyway. Looking for a girlfriend that would treat be like a partner, not as a patriarch. Visiting gay bars, because why not. Using online dating sites and not caring what others think...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThere\u2019s naturally \u003Cstrong\u003Enothing wrong with being straight\u003C\/strong\u003E, or with being gay, or lesbian, or bisexual, or pansexual. But hell yeah I\u2019m happy I happened to be born just the way I have!\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["chores","community","dating","equality","expression","family","freedom","gay","gender","lesbian","lgbtq","online dating","porn","relationship","sex"],"hasMore":true,"image":null,"introLite":"\u003Cp\u003EBeing gay is not easy. Depending on where you live, it might mean different things to you. Best case scenario \u2013 some minor inconveniences. Worst case \u2013 even danger of death. \u003Ca href=\u0022\/tag\/lgbtq\u0022\u003E LGBTQ\u003C\/a\u003E youth has a higher suicide rate than their straight \u0026amp; cis friends, they fear getting disowned by their families, thrown out of their homes, in some countries being sentenced to prison or lashes... We don\u2019t have equal rights, we can\u2019t always show affection in public. Being gay can be scary, lonely and awful.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut there is also a good side to that. The side of being gay that I really really love!\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cp\u003EBeing gay is not easy. Depending on where you live, it might mean different things to you. Best case scenario \u2013 some minor inconveniences. Worst case \u2013 even danger of death. \u003Ca href=\u0022\/tag\/lgbtq\u0022\u003E LGBTQ\u003C\/a\u003E youth has a higher suicide rate than their straight \u0026amp; cis friends, they fear getting disowned by their families, thrown out of their homes, in some countries being sentenced to prison or lashes... We don\u2019t have equal rights, we can\u2019t always show affection in public. Being gay can be scary, lonely and awful.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut there is also a good side to that. The side of being gay that I really really love!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EEquality and freedom to be yourself\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen I see a straight couple on a date, most of the time the guy seems nervous: he plans the whole thing, he tries to impress the girl, he bares responsibility for the date to work out well. She, on the other hand, is more passive, just enjoying his efforts.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen I hear about family problems of straight couples, they often concern the division of household chores or generally the traditional gender roles. The wife is expected to sacrifice her career for the children and the household, while the husband is expected to heroically protect the family from every danger.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd almost nobody seems to be happy with that. Girls, who try to impress a guy or want to ask him out, often feel strange, inappropriate. And some guys might be shy and prefer to be approached by a girl, or might not like the burden of organising their dates. Girls might want to focus on their careers, guys might need the privilege of being cowardly...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EGays, on the other hand, can be so \u003Cstrong\u003Eflexible\u003C\/strong\u003E in all of that! Who reels up the the other? Well, whoever\u2019s brave enough. Who organises the dates? Whoever feels like it, or whoever has a nice idea, or we just do it together. Who does the chores? We just split it, so that everybody does, what they do best. If both of you are the man or the woman, then you don\u2019t have to \u201cbe the man in this relationship\u201d or wonder \u201cwhat should I do as a woman?\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u2019m not saying straight couples cannot have such \u003Ca href=\u0022\/tag\/equality\u0022\u003E equality\u003C\/a\u003E and \u003Ca href=\u0022\/tag\/freedom\u0022\u003E freedom\u003C\/a\u003E to be yourself, as same-sex couples do. That would be \u003Cstrong\u003Estereotypical, plain stupid and simply not true\u003C\/strong\u003E. They obviously can, and I know many that do. But you\u2019ve got to admit, the overall trend of equality in a relationship and the general expectations from the society in that matter look way better for same-sex couples, don\u2019t they?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EViews\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EA girl meets a boy: he\u2019s nice, interesting, handsome and strong. She falls in love with him. Well, at least until they talk about politics for the first time. Then it turns out that her prince charming is actually a nationalistic fucktard, he\u2019s hateful towards other nations and skin colours, he wants to let the refugees die in the war zone...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EObviously, \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/how-come-you-don-t-like-a-gay-jew.lite\u0022\u003E gays also can be right-wing extremists\u003C\/a\u003E, but statistically I would expect much lower percentage of such people among the LGBTQ community. Why? We can sympathise with \u003Cstrong\u003Eminorities\u003C\/strong\u003E, because we are a minority ourselves. We\u2019ve been hurt by inequality, so we have a lot of determination to fight against it. Our common suffering unites us and makes us stronger.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ECommunity\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhich brings me to the awesomeness of the LGBTQ community in general. My first time in a gay bar was an amazing, unforgettable experience, even though nothing special actually happened. But it was just \u003Cstrong\u003Eso open\u003C\/strong\u003E!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EObviously, that\u2019s a huge generalisation, but you know... In a gay bar, during a pride parade or in some LGBTQ association, as long as you share the same values, you can \u003Cstrong\u003Efeel welcome\u003C\/strong\u003E, you can \u003Cstrong\u003Ebe yourself\u003C\/strong\u003E and not be judged for that, you can \u003Cstrong\u003Efeel safe\u003C\/strong\u003E and wanted. It\u2019s just so warm and friendly! You can be on first name terms with everybody by default (even in Poland or Germany, where \u201cDu\u201d and \u201cSie\u201d thingy is quite a big deal).\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe Community is like a huge, worldwide family for me. I cried after the massacre in \u003Ca href=\u0022\/tag\/orlando\u0022\u003E Orlando\u003C\/a\u003E as if I\u2019d lost really close friends \u2013 even though I didn\u2019t know those people. After my biological family rejected me, it\u2019s the misfits of the LGBTQ community that made me feel at home again.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EOnline dating\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EFor a shy guy like me online dating is quite a big deal. Remember all the jokes in the sitcoms about couples being ashamed that they\u2019ve met online and coming up with some fake \u201chow we met\u201d stories? This shows a stigma around the topic. As if it was a \u003Cem\u003Eworse\u003C\/em\u003E way to meet someone. If anything, it\u2019s better in many ways. Like being able to get to know someone\u2019s interests and character (and not just their looks) from their profile before even talking to them \u2013 you can\u2019t see any of that when you\u2019re saying hello to a stranger in a bar.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESure, now in the age of Tinder\u2019s popularity, that stigma is getting smaller and smaller. But nevertheless: I\u2019m happy to be part of a community, where meeting your boyfriend or your hookup on the Internet is not a big deal, but practically a default.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ESex\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EEver wondered, why sex-related jokes about gays are almost always about us doing anal (\u201dhaha, they fuck in the shithole!\u201d) or about straight guys\u2019 irrational fears that we would rape them (\u201dI\u2019ll sleep on this side, otherwise you\u2019d fuck me, faggot, hehe...\u201d)? Well, yeah, we do anal, and it\u2019s awesome, what\u2019s your point? And no, gay \u2260 rapist, and if you\u2019d joke about that, it probably means that\u2019s the way you\u2019d treat a woman in a similar situation...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMeanwhile, in sit-coms, standups etc. I keep hearing jokes about guys constantly underperforming in bed, finishing after 3 minutes, refusing to go down on a girl while demanding a blowjob for themselves, being generally boring and self-absorbed in bed... I might think they\u2019re just jokes, but then I keep hearing complaints about precisely that from my straight female friends about their boyfriends.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESeems like many straight guys don\u2019t experiment with their bodies, as if their cock was their only sex organ and a woman was basically just a toy for their wank. Getting your nipples stimulated, your armpits or asshole licked, etc. etc., that feels so amazing! Your G-spot is your prostate, and if you don\u2019t play with it for fear that \u201cit\u2019s gay\u201d, you\u2019re just missing out. Licking other people\u2019s bodies can be so hot as well...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EFrom what I hear, many straight people divide sex into foreplay and penetration. Penetration is what a guy really wants, while foreplay is what he is willing to do, reluctantly, to be allowed to get to the penetration. And gays? Seriously, I don\u2019t remember the last time I even used the word \u201cforeplay\u201d. It\u2019s all just sex. It\u2019s all awesome. Did you know that most of the time we don\u2019t even fuck in the ass during sex? Anal requires preparation, douching, status talk, condoms, lube, etc., meanwhile everything else is almost just as good, so why bother that much every time?\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u201cSeducing a straight guy\u201d is quite a common theme in gay porn. But I don\u2019t really get that phantasy. If the majority of straight guys is really the way standuppers, sitcoms, jokes and their own partners say they are in bed, well... I\u2019m just glad that there are only gay\/bi guys in my bed.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EAnd so much more...\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI don\u2019t have to worry about getting someone \u003Cstrong\u003Epregnant\u003C\/strong\u003E. Or about my country trying to restrict access to \u003Cstrong\u003Econtraception and abortion\u003C\/strong\u003E (although \u003Ca href=\u0022\/blog\/schwarzermontag.lite\u0022\u003E I am fighting\u003C\/a\u003E for others\u2019 right to use them). I won\u2019t end up in a marriage where we don\u2019t actually want to be together, but we just ended up with an unwanted pregnancy and decided it\u2019s best for the baby... If I share my clothes and underwear with my boyfriend, my wardrobe becomes twice as big. There are so many things I don\u2019t really think about every day, but when they do come up, I can\u2019t help but think \u201cthank goddess I\u2019m gay!\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo if I were born straight, I guess I\u2019d be trying to be as \u201cgay\u201d as possible anyway. Looking for a girlfriend that would treat be like a partner, not as a patriarch. Visiting gay bars, because why not. Using online dating sites and not caring what others think...\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThere\u2019s naturally \u003Cstrong\u003Enothing wrong with being straight\u003C\/strong\u003E, or with being gay, or lesbian, or bisexual, or pansexual. But hell yeah I\u2019m happy I happened to be born just the way I have!\u003C\/p\u003E","words":1481,"readTime":6,"lang":"en"}}}}}