{"tag":"deadname","articles":{"blog\/life\/my-name":{"key":"blog\/life\/my-name","type":"article","published":true,"meta":{"createdAt":"2022-07-01T13:51:02+02:00","publishedAt":"2022-07-01T13:51:02+02:00","group":"names","category":"blog","subcategory":"life","slug":"my-name"},"content":{"en":{"slug":"my-name","title":"My name","intro":"\u003Cp\u003EHello. My name is Andrea Vos.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut arriving at that name was quite a journey, so I figured I might write the story down.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","content":"\u003Cp\u003EHello. My name is Andrea Vos.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut arriving at that name was quite a journey, so I figured I might write the story down.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ELegal name\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ETrans people use the word \u201cdeadname\u201d for what they used to be called before they transitioned socially.\nIt\u0027s a basic sign of respect not to call them that anymore and not to mention it to anyone.\nUsing someone\u0027s deadname might cause gender dysphoria,\nand in some cases it might even lead to dangerous situations when a trans person is outed.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut personally I\u0027m not bothered much with someone knowing my deadname or by having to use it in official situations.\nSo I usually refer to it as my \u201clegal name\u201d, at least until I\u0027ll legally change it. But that\u0027s just me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EFirst name\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo my parents named me \u201cAndrzej\u201d. It comes from Ancient Greek \u003Cem\u003E\u1f00\u03bd\u03b4\u03c1\u03cc\u03c2\u003C\/em\u003E, which ironically means \u201ca man\u201d, \u201cmanly\u201d.\nThat I am not.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s pronounced \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/forvo.com\/search\/Andrzej\/pl\/\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E \/\u02c8\u00e3n\u1e0d\u0292\u025bj\/\u003C\/a\u003E \u2013 which is obvious for people\nwho speak Polish, but turned out to be quite problematic as soon as I moved to Berlin.\nForeigners have no idea how to write \/\u0292\/ in Polish or how to pronounce the \u201crz\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo I decided to simplify it into \u201cAndre\u201d. It\u0027s nice, short and unambiguous. Cool!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut when I discovered that I\u0027m nonbinary, it started bothering me, how gendered it is.\nEven ethymology aside, it\u0027s a very masculine name.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI speak some Italian and I\u0027ve always really liked how my name sounds in this language: Andrea.\nIt has an added enby bonus as well: in Italy it\u0027s considered masculine, but basically everywhere else\nit\u0027s a feminine name. Just check out \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Andrea\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E this Wikipedia list\u003C\/a\u003E\nfull of people of all genders with that name or\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/zaimki.pl\/blog\/imiona-unisex-pesel\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E\u003Csvg class=\u0022icon\u0022\u003E\u003Cuse xlink:href=\u0022#light-link\u0022\u003E\u003C\/use\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E my analysis of most \u201cunisex\u201d names in Poland\u0027s database\u003C\/a\u003E.\nThat\u0027s the level of genderfuck I really enjoy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAndrea it is.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EMiddle name\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI had one, but literally never really used it. I don\u0027t see a point in me having a middle name anymore.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ELast name\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThis one I really, really hated. First of all, it\u0027s a family name and I\u0027m\u2026 well, not on the best terms with other people who use it.\nThere\u0027s tons of childhood trauma coming up whenever I need to use that name.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd second of all, it\u0027s terribly gendered. It\u0027s one of those that are technically adjectives in Polish grammar\nand they need to end with -ski for men, -ska for women, -scy for plural\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI want to have the same surname as my husband. He\u0027s my family so having a common family name would be\u2026 appropriate.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen we got married in Germany either one of us could take another\u0027s name or we could use both names with a hyphen.\nThe problem is, though, that Poland does not recognise that marriage.\nPoland claims we\u0027re both still bachelors and it wouldn\u0027t just officially change our names because of some foreign marriage.\nWe\u0027re not German citizens, so Germany wouldn\u0027t issue us new documents either.\nA friend of ours was in a similar situation and decided to take his husband\u0027s name \u2013 and now he needs to carry around\nboth his Polish ID and his German marriage certificate just to prove his surname.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo we kept our names and started thinking of a brand new one we could use.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWe made a list of hundreds of last names we liked, turned it into a shortlist of a few dozen.\nDiscussed them all, disagreed and vetoed a lot of the proposals, voted on them in a few different ways \u2013\nnot because we had such vastly different tastes, but cause so many names were too cool to just dismiss.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EEventually we landed on one: Vos.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s a common Dutch name, so we can honour the country we\u0027ve decided to build our live in,\nbut it\u0027s not too in\u2013your\u2013face Dutch (no \u201evan der\u201d or \u201eGogh\u201d etc.).\nIt means \u201cfox\u201d, which has some nice connotations in culture (cleverness, good luck, charm, curiosity, mischief).\nIt\u0027s short, simple, has a very obvious pronunciation.\nI\u0027m so glad with that choice.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ELegal change?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027d very much love to have all my documents reflect my chosen name.\nBut it\u0027s a bureaucratic hassle. We could do it after we get a Dutch citizenship,\nbut it\u0027s quite a costly and long procedure, and our justification for a change might not be enough.\nWe could do it before, using the Polish system which actually allows changing one\u0027s name to \u201cthe acutally used name\u201d\n\u2013 and I have more than enough evidence of having used it for a while.\nBut it would still depend on a good will of a random official \u2013 and we\u0027d have to get new IDs, passports and driver\u0027s licences\njust to exchange them for Dutch ones next year (if all goes well with the naturalisation).\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EA bit anxious about this step and unsure which way to go. But I\u0027ll figure it out \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Csvg xmlns=\u0022http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\u0022 style=\u0022display: none;\u0022\u003E\u003C\/svg\u003E","tags":["name","trans","deadname","legal name","first name","last name","spelling","pronunciation"],"hasMore":true,"image":null,"introLite":"\u003Cp\u003EHello. My name is Andrea Vos.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut arriving at that name was quite a journey, so I figured I might write the story down.\u003C\/p\u003E","contentLite":"\u003Cp\u003EHello. My name is Andrea Vos.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut arriving at that name was quite a journey, so I figured I might write the story down.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ELegal name\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ETrans people use the word \u201cdeadname\u201d for what they used to be called before they transitioned socially.\nIt\u0027s a basic sign of respect not to call them that anymore and not to mention it to anyone.\nUsing someone\u0027s deadname might cause gender dysphoria,\nand in some cases it might even lead to dangerous situations when a trans person is outed.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut personally I\u0027m not bothered much with someone knowing my deadname or by having to use it in official situations.\nSo I usually refer to it as my \u201clegal name\u201d, at least until I\u0027ll legally change it. But that\u0027s just me.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EFirst name\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo my parents named me \u201cAndrzej\u201d. It comes from Ancient Greek \u003Cem\u003E\u1f00\u03bd\u03b4\u03c1\u03cc\u03c2\u003C\/em\u003E, which ironically means \u201ca man\u201d, \u201cmanly\u201d.\nThat I am not.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s pronounced \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/forvo.com\/search\/Andrzej\/pl\/\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E \/\u02c8\u00e3n\u1e0d\u0292\u025bj\/\u003C\/a\u003E \u2013 which is obvious for people\nwho speak Polish, but turned out to be quite problematic as soon as I moved to Berlin.\nForeigners have no idea how to write \/\u0292\/ in Polish or how to pronounce the \u201crz\u201d.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo I decided to simplify it into \u201cAndre\u201d. It\u0027s nice, short and unambiguous. Cool!\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBut when I discovered that I\u0027m nonbinary, it started bothering me, how gendered it is.\nEven ethymology aside, it\u0027s a very masculine name.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI speak some Italian and I\u0027ve always really liked how my name sounds in this language: Andrea.\nIt has an added enby bonus as well: in Italy it\u0027s considered masculine, but basically everywhere else\nit\u0027s a feminine name. Just check out \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Andrea\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E this Wikipedia list\u003C\/a\u003E\nfull of people of all genders with that name or\n\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/zaimki.pl\/blog\/imiona-unisex-pesel\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003E my analysis of most \u201cunisex\u201d names in Poland\u0027s database\u003C\/a\u003E.\nThat\u0027s the level of genderfuck I really enjoy.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAndrea it is.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003EMiddle name\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI had one, but literally never really used it. I don\u0027t see a point in me having a middle name anymore.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ELast name\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThis one I really, really hated. First of all, it\u0027s a family name and I\u0027m\u2026 well, not on the best terms with other people who use it.\nThere\u0027s tons of childhood trauma coming up whenever I need to use that name.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EAnd second of all, it\u0027s terribly gendered. It\u0027s one of those that are technically adjectives in Polish grammar\nand they need to end with -ski for men, -ska for women, -scy for plural\u2026\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI want to have the same surname as my husband. He\u0027s my family so having a common family name would be\u2026 appropriate.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen we got married in Germany either one of us could take another\u0027s name or we could use both names with a hyphen.\nThe problem is, though, that Poland does not recognise that marriage.\nPoland claims we\u0027re both still bachelors and it wouldn\u0027t just officially change our names because of some foreign marriage.\nWe\u0027re not German citizens, so Germany wouldn\u0027t issue us new documents either.\nA friend of ours was in a similar situation and decided to take his husband\u0027s name \u2013 and now he needs to carry around\nboth his Polish ID and his German marriage certificate just to prove his surname.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo we kept our names and started thinking of a brand new one we could use.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWe made a list of hundreds of last names we liked, turned it into a shortlist of a few dozen.\nDiscussed them all, disagreed and vetoed a lot of the proposals, voted on them in a few different ways \u2013\nnot because we had such vastly different tastes, but cause so many names were too cool to just dismiss.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EEventually we landed on one: Vos.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIt\u0027s a common Dutch name, so we can honour the country we\u0027ve decided to build our live in,\nbut it\u0027s not too in\u2013your\u2013face Dutch (no \u201evan der\u201d or \u201eGogh\u201d etc.).\nIt means \u201cfox\u201d, which has some nice connotations in culture (cleverness, good luck, charm, curiosity, mischief).\nIt\u0027s short, simple, has a very obvious pronunciation.\nI\u0027m so glad with that choice.\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Ch3\u003ELegal change?\u003C\/h3\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u0027d very much love to have all my documents reflect my chosen name.\nBut it\u0027s a bureaucratic hassle. We could do it after we get a Dutch citizenship,\nbut it\u0027s quite a costly and long procedure, and our justification for a change might not be enough.\nWe could do it before, using the Polish system which actually allows changing one\u0027s name to \u201cthe acutally used name\u201d\n\u2013 and I have more than enough evidence of having used it for a while.\nBut it would still depend on a good will of a random official \u2013 and we\u0027d have to get new IDs, passports and driver\u0027s licences\njust to exchange them for Dutch ones next year (if all goes well with the naturalisation).\u003C\/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EA bit anxious about this step and unsure which way to go. But I\u0027ll figure it out \ud83d\ude09\u003C\/p\u003E","words":806,"readTime":4,"lang":"en"}}}}}