Pokémon Go sucks! (for now)

Yeah, yeah, it’s a nice idea (not theirs though, it’s based on Ingress), it gets people out of their homes, it makes them excercise, explore the world... It’s all fine. But on the other hand, this game annoys me so much that I’ve already given up on it after just three days of playing. Why?

  • It’s buggy, unresponsive and slow. Servers fail every couple of minutes, sometimes during a battle or just before catching a rare pokemon.
  • It drains battery and data transfer as hell.
  • It doesn’t work in the background. You could walk a hundred kilometers and not hatch a single egg, if you don’t have the app active during all that time. You have to prevent your smartfone from locking the screen, you cannot just put it in your pocket, you cannot switch to a different app...
  • Right, there is a battery saving mode (when your phone is upside down, the screen blacks out and doesn’t react to touch), which is not a perfect solution, but good enough. If it worked... My Samung A5(2016) seems to have a gyroscope, all the other apps know the smartphone’s orientation, but Pokémon Go strangely does not.
  • And for that reason the Augmented Reality mode doesn’t work for me either.
  • Even if it did, the only AR interaction with your pokemon is catching them. Kinda boring... And the pokemon isn’t really interacting with the world, it’s just a plain overlay over random objects in front of your camera.
  • No one on one battles? No trading with friends? Boring...
  • Do you have any idea, which pokemon are Bisasam, Glumanda or Schiggy? Probably not. Those are the German names for the three starters. All the names are different in German. And that’s annoying as hell. Luckily there’s a simple fix for that: just change the language of your entire system! Oh, fuck you!
  • Although it made me more aware of my surroundings at first (”wow I had no idea that particular relief was anyhow important!”), I quickily turned into a smombie (smartphone zombie, i love that word). Because when you encounter two pokemon at once while being near to a poke station and also in quite a hurry, then you simultainously walk, catch pokemon and pray that the servers don’t fuck up. Awareness of the surroundings? Next to none involved.

There’s so much more not to like that game for... But those reasons above were enough for me. It sucks.

I know it’s not even officially released here yet, I know it’s still a young project, so hopefully, it will get better soon. But until then – I’m out.